Disclaimer: Do not attempt the acts in RCOTIC. THey are fictional and may be illegal in your area. All things that belong to others are not to be profited off of.

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"Shadow Walker and Maggot killed him."

"Yo, incubus. Come take a walk with me." Says Leslie. Chinese Place Stu follows her down the mountain. "Some work you did on my sister." Chinese Place Stu remains silent. " When I first became a vampire it was all about the sex too... and the blood, of course." Chinese Place Stu raises an eye brow. " Nice try, but you see I'm dead now. and this author doesn't do that type of work even off panel, yet. But the truth is being an incubus must be hard. Hell, I bet even a response would be a change of pace." "Yeah, well.""Yo, Stu.” Says Post Officer Bob. 'Who's your friend?" "This is Leslie..." "Robert, Robert of The Post Officers?" "do I know you?""Inez sure does." "Well Then, Let's go see her."Chinese Place Stu climbs aboard the truck. "Aren't you coming?"asks Post Officer Bob. "you need to say come in. I can't go anywhere unless I'm invited. It's a vampire thing." "Well, Come In, Leslie."

The south end of town. P.O. Bob's house. " Come In, Leslie." "Damn archways." Post officer Bob gets a beer from the refrigerator. "Yo, Inez. I got someone here who says she's a friend of yours." Inez comes down the steps. "Madre de mi, Is that you Leslie?""'Fraid so.""Let's talk in the living room. Who's that with you?' "This is Chinese Place Stu."

In the living room, Leslie and Inez are talking. Chinese Place Stu is standing in the corner awkwardly. Leslie speaks."So, what have you been up to?" " Not much. My practice is running smoothly. Castrati Bob 2 is in choir and on the bowling team. If your acquaintance would like to join him, he's in the foyer."Chinese Place Stu leaves for the foyer. "Actually, I was hoping to talk about him, but it's been almost 17 years, apparently, What have you been up to?" " I got married. Then, i got my doctorate in medical sciences. Then I had Castrati Bob 2. He was born in a recession so we castrated him so he would always be able to have a steady singing job. Then things have just settled down. How about you?" I dropped out of medical school when my addiction got the better of me. traveled around a bit, met a nice guy, became psionically bonded, train wreck, died,was partially embalmed but then the coroner's strike happened which as of yet is unresolved, then i came back to life because the guy I had become bonded to had died. I'm currently on a warpath to bring the murderer to justice. Same old, sane old."" Ok, so what were you going to tell me about the boy you were with?""Well, he's half incubus and I was wondering...' "So his mother is kind of like the Virgin Mary or Shmi Skywalker. I think i met someone like that in a case study in China, once" "Riight, anyway. he sort of knocked up my sister and I was just curious of the potency of half incubi." " and who wouldn't be. after all your nephew or neice will be a quarter incubus or succuba."

In the foyer, Castrati Bob2 is sitting with his arms folded around his knees. He flops to the side. " My dad's in a gang. People die in gangs. I know, I saw 'Juice' on VH1" Chinese Place Stu raises an eye brow. "Tupac Shakur movies have very little influence in our continuity. Nobody's really dead if you remember them." " But there are oppressive forces out there and my dad's not as young as he used to be." "and he's not as old as he's going to be. Listen, We in your dad's gang are good people. It must be nice to have a human dad. My dad's a ghost and always has been." "I’m sorry, I didn't know.” “Yeah, I’m half incubus so it’s my nature to go around and sleep with sleeping people and cause them to convulse. Other than that , I’m completely devoid of contact with other animals. My half brother Shu, He’s full human. Oh my, Look at the time I have to get to work.”

Chinese Place Stu speeds down the hallway. Leslie and Inez corner him. “We need to study you in Inez” lab.” “I need to get to work. You can study me later. Don’t you have revenge to exact, Les?” Chinese Place Stu heads off to work, Leslie heads off to the Walker Monestary.

At Karl’s Chinese Food Emporium, Chinese Place Stu finds he is relieving Bernie Inert from his delivery duties. Bernie Inert is a young man incapable of motion. It appears Stu has a lot of work to do. Stu hops on his bicycle and delivers the orders.

Back at the little house in mountainous Eurasia. There’s another visitor. Leroy gets the door. A young woman is at the door. Sound familiar. ”Hey, Robin.” “Hey, anybody else home?” “Um, Majo is, I think.” “Can I come in?” “Sure, why not” “Yo Majo. Robin’s here.” “Rilly? Weren’t we just talking about her last chapter?” “That’s right.” “ You haven’t called. Anything the matter, Robin?” “Well, the GCMC found out about my kids..””Wait, They can’t fire you because you have children. Can they?” “No, But how the children came about is another story.” Now let’s all gather around for a flashback sequence.

Flashback 9.1, Robin’s flashback. So I saw this guy, you know. And I was all like hitting on him and stuff and beiong like “father my children.” But he wasn’t responding. So… I’m going to leave this next part out but for the most part it involves a pizza cutter and a hypodermic needle. So, a few minutes later I find out this guy’s dead and he’s been a corpse for like 3 weeks or something but due to like his immense base of support, He’s been standing there like a living dude. And due to the incredible potency of dead men…” “I think I’ve heard enough.” End Flashback 9.1

“Hey, Majo. Doesn’t this dude Robin’s talking about sound a lot like Bernie.” “The Immense base of support thing sounds like him. But I didn’t think he was dead. I thought he was just lazy and antisocial.” Smell’s like a field trip to me, Are you picking up on that.

So, They go down the mountain and they go to Karl’s Chinese Food Emporium. And Sure enough standing out in front of the store is everyone favorite momentum-less standing corpse. “Hi, Bernie.” “…..”stands Bernie. “You know, I never noticed you didn’t have a nose.” A man comes out of Karl’s. “Yo, Theif. You get away from the store. I cut you good next time you loiter here.” Leroy speaks. “Nick can we borrow a hand truck. We want to talk with Bernie.” “Ok, but return it. Or my manager will be really pissed at me.” “ooo, Razor Nick’s afraid of his manager.” “So, you want to go see Post Officer Bob? We’re not welcome here.”

Alright. So Leroy, Majo, Robin and Bernie go to P.O. Bob’s house. Acquire him and they find out where Leslie went. Then They Go to the Walker Monestary. Where they find Leslie who is standing at the door. Waiting to be invited in. They invite her in. Everyone walks around the monestary, systematically inviting Leslie in, until we meet our first opponent. The opponent is Maggot. And today I’m doing my battle simulation with 10 sided die. Bernie Stays to fight her and the rest move on ahead. Anonymous monk challenges our group Majo satays to fight. Majo uses Ebon Flow, 89 points damage. Anonymous monk uses anonymous monk magic 39 points damage. Majo slices with her sword 66 points damage. And anonymous monk is dead. Let us take a minute and mourn for anonymous monk.

Ok That’s long enough. So we could keep playing anonymous monk killing for awhile or we could get to Leslie versus Shadow. Which is what I intend to do. Ok. I just rolled a 01. So I’m going to forget about dice rolling and concentrate on the moves themselves. Leslie punches, Shadow counters, Leslie counters, Shadow counters, a whole lot of counters. Shadow attempts Crimson Flow, Leslie dodges ,sweeps his legs, Crimson Flow knocks down a support beam, Leslie draws her Semi’s. Suspense, suspense, suspense. Vlad shows up. Turns out he’s been resurrected just as Leslie has. So don’t kill Shadow, Leslie. The Spinning hug move. Shadow , Vlad, Leroy, P.O. Bob, Majo, Leslie, and Robin go back to the first room. Where Maggot is still beating the hell out of Bernie. Bernie looks pretty battered. Maggot looks pretty tired. Vlad, Leroy, Majo, Leslie, Shadow, Maggot, P.O. Bob, Robin, and Bernie run or are pushed out of the monestary. The monestary collapses and thousands more anonymous monks die.

By the way that crimson flow damage was 122 points. Just fun to know.

So, everyone regroups at some smoky bar for ambiance including Chinese Place Stu, Razor Nick, and Inez. Castrati Bob 2 is too young. Robin bangs on a wine glass and announces her engagement to Bernie Inert. Assorted responses.

And thus the Shadow saga ends. Now we repeat a line from last chapter to get into the next saga. “Oh, Noman. You can’t die. You’re the Uncola.”

Uncola saga begins in RCOTIC:nnb The Motion Picture. (Next Chapter.)