Hours Later. Vrr. Creak. " Gaaq" " why did you decide to go hairless, Vlad?" " Don't worry I have sunglasses." Pop up menu; Note: All hairless characters must wear sunglasses at all times. End Pop up menu. " Give me Spongebath attack, Leroy." The Internet's 82nd favorite giant talking armadillo starts his incantation. " Melon-scented. Spongebath. Truth Serum. Subject: Vlad's hair. "When I was young, about 23," started Vlad. " I applied for a job at the Global Cleansing and Morality Coalition." Swirl out into flashback 3.1. " Excuse me Boss Pig (he wasn't a Lord back then), I would like to apply for the position as day janitor." states a familiar Nordic voice. " Well, you certainly are qualified, but do you think you can handle a gummint job?" said Boss Pig, butter being pumped into him at a rate of 30 pumps per minute." I certainly hope I can." " Do you golf?" " No sir but I could learn. If you don't mind, what are you injecting?" " Butter, my good man. Once you've had the real deal you just can't go back to marjairine." " I am sorry, sir. I cannot accept this position any longer." End Flashback 3.1. Vlad continues," You see, my overpowering fear of butter prevented me from taking the job. Besides that I hate golf. Thus, I became a rebel. But first I attempted suicide. Oh, hey Chinese Place Stu! Chinese Place Stu is here everybody." This was a good thing because it was FOX’s retro-cartoon afternoon and you gotta see that. But at commercials, our story continued. Vlad whispered,” You see Chinese Place Stu. In order to maintain a secret identity, you have to take off your nametag.” “Oh” said Chinese Place Stu. After Reboot and just before Big Guy and Rusty the Boy Robot, Post Officer Bob stopped by. A heavy-set man in his early 50’s, Bob had been a post officer for thirty years. Post Officer Bob drank a beer and continued his post officer route. After The Flintstones, Vlad went to work at the Blockbuster video store where he worked as a bouncer. Leroy worked as a certified public accountant. He worked at night so no one would care he was a 3 foot armadillo. But today he had off. Majorine was a part time thief so she could watch Q-bert and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles before she had to leave the couch. Chinese Place Stu was the same age as Majorine, he worked at Karl’s Chinese Food Emporium. He was the delivery boy. Swift camera movement indicating lapse in time and setting. At Blockbuster, close to the end of Vlad’s shift, a dark skinned man with bleached white hair and a GCMC T-shirt came in and checked out. Vlad looked at him. He was the notorious Noman, ruler of Noman’s land. Pop up window, Noman’s Land is located from where current day Iowa is until where current day California is. End pop up window. Vlad devised a plan, run down Noman with a car and then call the others. So Vlad hot-wired the first car he saw and ran down Noman. He, Vlad, then tried calling home. No one was there. The same thing happened at Chinese Place Stu’s house. So he called Post Officer Bob. Post Officer Bob came. Post Officer Bob who was voted one of the top million overweight middle-aged heroes of all time by People magazine, used his attack. “ Black. Velvet. Serenade.” He chanted. Then he picked up his Tuba and played. Fingers of darkness spurned from the tuba and danced as Post Officer Bob told them to. The fingers of darkness suffocated Noman. Noman passed out. Then, between Vlad and Post Officer Bob, a decision that it was not safe to fight in a parking lot came into being. So they got Noman’s address and went home. After some rest, our gang went to breakfast at Chinese Place Stu’s home.

Chinese Place Stu, working at Karl’s Chinese Food Emporium, did not get a chance to snag silverware. So, he heisted chopsticks instead. Vlad pointed out that he could not use chopsticks. So Majorine said, “ Look at Leroy, he can use chopsticks, type 60 words a minute, is an accomplished accountant but does not have opposable thumbs.” “ Yeah, Why is that?” asked Chinese Place Stu. “Wait,” exclaimed Vlad. “You can’t go into Leroy’s Flashback until I get done my story.” “ Ok.” “ Where was I?” “ About to commit suicide.” “” It was just a figure of Speech.” Begin Flashback 3.2. Vlad is on a very tall building, in an open space no less. He is about to take a swandive to the asphalt. Before that happens a woman flies by. It is Leslie, Majorine’s older sister. She says, “Hi.” “Hello,” says Vlad. “You know there is nothing more mysterious than a buff blond guy about to commit suicide.” She was right. And eventually Vlad was talked down. Eventually Leslie fell deeply madly passionately in love with Vlad. Pretty soon, The truth about Leslie is revealed. She had vampiric tendencies, which almost explains the flying. After that Vlad took Leslie to VTA meetings. Vampiric Tendencies Anonymous. “ My name is Leslie, and I suffer from Vampiric Tendencies.” “My name is Vlad, and I am here to make sure Leslie doesn’t run away.” Later, the train our lovebirds were on crashed. The lovebirds died but Vlad and Leslie, who were also on the train escaped with major injuries. Leslie lost a lot of blood. Vlad was going to get her a transfusion. But she explained, “ I can not have a transfusion because I have a bleeding ulcer, and I had a ‘Snack’ before I came, and it was not my type. Don’t make the medics guess! They’ll tell the VTA on me. I shall die. Go find my sister, save…..”Then she died. End Flashback 3.2. “ Hey I figured these chopsticks out,” says Vlad. Just another Breakfast.