Early Morning, Sometime in the Future.

A probe robot flitted down a mountainous region of western Eurasia. The lens focused in on a windowed room. “All I'm saying is that the robot craze began in the 1960'swith the TVB show Danger Will Robinson. Then the Japanese started, along with Saban Entertainment Corporation, to use robots as star characters." said Leroy a four foot armadillo. " Looks like we've got company" retorted Vlad a muscular blond Nordic man." Quick flex your armadillo muscles sexifully." And flex sexifully they did. Pan camera swiftly. Somewhere under Delaware, a youthful intern sat drooling in front of the monitoring screen. Cloven footsteps. Boss Lord Pig, Leadre of the Global Cleansing and Morality Coalition, the dominant party of world leadreship, speaks harshly to the girl. “Pawn Emily, Who is the (sigh when you say it) *pig* here. My company will not tolerate your female chauvanism. You are fired." 60 seconds later" Curse you Leroy, Vlad, and the unintroduced Scottish woman whose name will be determined next chapter." Pan camera swiftly. Vlad is on the phone, “Yes and an order of Sesame Beef, Thank you, Chinese Place Stu." Vlad, the incredibly buff muscular blond Finlander, hangs up the phone. Ring. "Hello," it is Robin, the redheaded secretary of the Global Cleansing and Morality Coalition. Filing her nails, in a drone nasally voice she says, " Mr. Pig wishes to send some troops to defeat you, Is 2:30 okay?" "Uh, 2:30 is fine, How are the kids?” says Vlad" Don't you ever talk about them while I'm at work, Only 7 pawns, and I use the term loosely, know about them: the 2 of them, the doctor, me, and you heroes.” Robin says enraged. “I see, Goodbye" remarks Vlad cheerily. 2:28," Bud, we need to go fight some GCMC pawns pay Chinese Place Stu when he gets here and save some for us” says Leroy. "Unh" says a groggy female voice. Boss Lord Pig's pawns arrive. Soldier pawns charge our heroes. “Armadillo Bowling Impurity" Leroy and Vlad shout in unison. Leroy rolls into a ball and Vlad hurls him at the opponent. On impact, rows of soldiers fall in the mud. "Unclean! Unclean!” they shout and rush off. Next, Large mechanical robots with firearm turrets attack our heroes. "Dammit, what’s the chant for my machine destroying powers," Groans Vlad." Electron Alignment Anomally, Idiot” cries Leroy as he slaps Vlad over the head. “Electron Alignment Anomaly" chants Vlad and he passes through the machine, frying its circuits, rendering it helpless. "Pawn, our attacks suck," says Vlad, "Pink. Sugar. Heart attack." dictates Leroy. "Point" says Vlad. A new wave of soldier pawns arrives. “Torment Elderly Attack" our heroes chant in unison. Suddenly Old Joe, an american from the late 20th century appears. Leroy snips off part of his beard and Vlad throws Old Joe's wheelchair with Old Joe in it down a cliff. "You Young Buck" Old Joe says softly but angrily as he falls into the abyss and vanishes. "That's just wrong”, cries a pawn and they run away in fear of becoming immoral. When the heroes get home, Chinese Place Stu is there to greet them. Vlad says "Wake up, Friend, We must Eat Chinese food, Watch R-movies, and drink beer in our underwear as is our duty to shape the minds of impressionable youths. He picks her up and throws her in a chair by the Television. “Maybe she will wake up if she is kissed by a prince, like in that old book by Disney, but Chinese Place Stu will have to do that because princes are all moral and stuff." So, Chinese Place Stu having just watched a documentary on The Artist Formerly Known As Prince kissed our still unnamed heroine. " Wuh?" she said and pushed him away. " Why is Stuart here?” said she. " Well, we gave you money to pay Chinese Place Stu for Sesame Beef and Fortune Cookies and anything else he brought is entirely on you," Said Vlad, Being the stereotypical big strong dumb blonde guy he is and realizing what he was saying after he said it, everybody shuddered and Chinese Place Stu, gave a sly wink." Chinese Place Stu, you must leave now, so this does not get any more awkward.” said Leroy. " You are an armadillo who wears underwear, speak not to me of awkward." says Chinese Place Stu. " I am the tax payer of this residence and I demand you leave, now." retorts Leroy. " Now to get to the bottom of this," Leroy starts his chant," Melon-scented Spongebath Truth Serum Subject: Chinese Place Stu."