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- I assume full responsibility for my actions, except the ones that are someone else's fault.

- We all can't be heroes. Somebody has to sit on the sides and clap as they go by.

- People in glass houses should always wear clothes.

- Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.

- You're never too old to learn something stupid.

- A conclusion is simply the place where you got tired of thinking.

- Smile, it makes people wonder what you are thinking.

- Some drink at the fountain of knowledge...others just gargle.

- The two most common elements in the universe are hydrogen and stupidity.

- Color... it's just a pigment of your imagination.

- All jobs are easy to the person who doesn't have to do them.

- If you tell a man there are 300 billion stars in the universe, he'll believe you. But if you tell him a parkbench has just been painted, he has to touch it to be sure.

- If it weren't for the last minute, nothing would get done.

- Never put off until tomorrow what you can avoid altogether.

- When we talk to God it's called prayer. When God talks back it's called schizophrenia.

- "Cats are smarter than dogs. You can't get eight cats to pull a sled through snow." -Jeff Valdez

- The guy who invented the first wheel was an idiot. The guy who invented the other three, he was the genius.

- Your mind is like a taco: the more you cram into it, the more that's going to fall out.

- As I said before, I never repeat myself.

- I always win. Except when I lose, but then I just don't count it.

- Don't judge a book by its movie.

- I was walking home one night, and a guy hammering on a roof called me a paranoid lil' weirdo in morse code...

- Eagles may soar and weasels don't get caught in jet engines

- Some people have photgraphic memory, some people don't have any film (these 2 were compliments of Mike)

- "The great tragedy of science -- the slaying of a beautiful hypothesis by an ugly fact." -Thomas Huxley

- "It requires wisdom to understand wisdom: the music is nothing if the audience is deaf." -Walter Lippman

- "You can tell whether a man is clever by his answers. You can tell whether a man is wise by his questions." -Naguib, Mahfouz

- "The only true wisdom is in knowing you know nothing." -Socrates

- "The distance between insanity and genius is measured only by success." -James Bond: Tomorrow Never Dies

- "Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former." -Albert Einstein

- "One of the most adventurous things left us is to go to bed. For no one can lay a hand on our dreams." -E. V. Lucas, 365 Days and One More

- "Teachers open the door, but you must enter by yourself." -Chinese Proverb

- "Science without religion is lame, religion without science is blind." -Albert Einstein

- "Music is the soul of language." -Max Heindel

- If you truly love something, set it free. And if it doesn't come back, hunt it down and kill it.

- "The opposite of war isn't peace... It's CREATION!" - Mark Cohen, "La Vie Boheme B" - RENT

- "You cannot live for others - for then you will not live yourself."

- When they discover the center of the universe, a lot of people will be disappointed to discover they are not it. - Bernard Bailey

- Readers are plentiful; thinkers are rare. - Harriet Martineau

- Truly great madness cannot be achieved without significant intelligence. - Henrik Tikkanen

- Beware when the great God lets loose a thinker on this planet. - Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803 - 1882)

- Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake. - Napoleon Bonaparte (1769 - 1821)

- Friends may come and go, but enemies accumulate. - Thomas Jones

"The most wasted day of all is that during which we have not laughed." - Sebastian R. N. Chamfort

"Life is like a beautiful melody – only the lyrics are all messed up." - Anon.

"Every man has his follies - and often they are the most interesting things he’s got." - Josh Billings

"The real test of friendship is: can you literally do nothing with the other person? Can you enjoy those moments of life that are utterly simple?" - Eugene Kennedy

"Remember: If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate." - Eric Desch (It's so gay and geeky that I love it.)

"Just try and penetrate the unconquerable force of The Black Abyss and experience the nocturnal dawn as everything is engulfed in eternal darkness." - Mike McGarry, for his Outwar stuff...

"Discovery is always a rape of the natural world... always." - Ian Malcolm (Jurassic Park)

Murphy's Laws (are these all really by Murphy?)

- Success always occurs in private, and failure in full view.

- If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.

- Availability is a function of time. The minute you get interested is the minute they find someone else.

- When in doubt, mumble.