Nugh, I NEED somewhere to spill because I am fully so frustrated with the stupid race that is males.

For starters, a stupid male SHOULDN'T get with you because he feels pressured by your mates, especially when you and them are so wasted its not funny. That, is plain stupid, but hey, theyre males.

See, I figured that at maybe every one or two years I'd find at least one halfway decent guy that I could just happily indulge a crush on, not expecting it to go anywhere and to admire from a distance, so nothing could go wrong. Till you become friends with him (through no fault of your own, mind you).

So you figure, well, there goes that crush, but get this, hes perfect, hes one of those guys that comes along every five years or so, that during the first few weeks of you knowing him hes perfect in every possible aspect, in EVERY POSSIBLE ASPECT. And hes your friend, and your at that stage where anything is possible. So you step up a level, and its all good.

This is where they either shoot you down, and you step back and do the friend thing, or he see's whats going on and lets it be. So were going down the latter path and its all good, until, somewhere along the way I realise that he doesn't realise whats going on, he's still waay back in the prehestoric age. But he's still perfect, so your not too worried, and just make things a little more subtle, a little more obvious. WELL.

THEN you find out THAT HE'S GAY! And not just a 'confused teenage I think I might be gay' but ACTUALLY FUCKING GAY. Ohkay, at this stage, I've had guy friends who have said they were gay, and then eventually decided that they loved me. So when he came along acting straight, it was all damn good.

If your male and your going to be gay, at least have the decency to act it. Whats the point in hiding it? I mean really, does anyone care that your gay? I mean, ohkay, so there are people who have issues but with the new age shit coming through now, nobody cares. *sigh*

I'm not even sharing any of what I meant to, in this mess that is me I can't get out what I want to, so its all random story frustration that doesnt do shit. Hes fucking gay, I lost several other opportunites to get what I want in favour of this fool, and I CANT STAND IT. I cant believe i was so stupid. I can't believe hes a fucking idiot either. Nugh, damn him.