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Hola boys and girls and welcome back to The Homepage of All Evil! It's back by popular demand, and I think I may have to give it a much-needed facelift soon as well. Be on the lookout for another website from me (Jesse Rondinelli) that is a little bit more on the serious side. Enjoy the latest update. I have a new revolting theory. Here it is. Phish, The Grateful Dead, and Bob Marley have subliminal messages in their music advocating the use of marijuana. Think about it for a minute, that's all I ask. How else could every stoner in the world like those three bands? It's not as if there is a single musical genre that unifies crackheads or herion addicts. I think the record industry is (or was) up to something truly crooked. Basketball players are the only people ever that can get burned by a kid wearing a cheap pair of Airwalks and attribute it to the fact that their $200 Nike Air Jordans don't grip the ground enough. Those 7-11 commercials with the guys that act all annoying while trying to advertise the cool deals they have on food suck. Those guys are going to look back at those commercials ten years from now and realize that they have wasted their lives. What a shitty thing to be remembered for. (7-11's food is good shit though.) It's not funny when people fart in class. It is disgusting. People laugh anyways. I have the best idea ever. The idea is caffinated orange juice. Everyone who eats breakfast regularly has orange juice, followed by coffee, and then they have to piss like crazy the rest of the day. Why not combine them? It'd save valuable morning time and give that much needed early buzz as well. NADS is possibly the worst name ever for a hair removal product. I wonder now many bored middle aged-males have tried to use NADS on their nads. (get it? NADS/nads?... ok, I'm sorry.) I hate commercials for shampoo that combats "flakes". Not because I doubt the value of such products, but instead because of the totally FAKE flakes that they use in their shots of people with flakes. I think that they must cut up white paper and throw it on their shoulders. Couldn't they do something a little bit more original? Even the one where a guy has to wear a hat to his barber shop is pretty pathetic. He acts like people could see his flakes from a helicopter and the focus of everyone's day is to get a look at them. What a vain loser. At school, you can always spot the kids that have issues with their sexuality (let's just say they are curious): They're the ones with pictures of half-naked models on their lockers just to show everyone how straight they really are. Nice try guys. In Biology classes, half the words sound like they should mean something perverted. XIRemainX@aol.com |