var currentdate = 0 var thekoan = "" var fframe = 0 var insight = 0 var directive = 0 var beginning = "Koan is: " var separator = "\n\n" function zen(){ alert(koan())} function koan(){ currentdate = new Date () fframe = currentdate.getHours() insight = currentdate.getMinutes() directive = currentdate.getSeconds() thekoan = separator + getframe() +separator + getinsight() + separator + getdirective() return (thekoan)} function getframe(){ if (fframe == 0) return "Winter feels no itching;" else if (fframe == 1) return "Find the plum;" else if (fframe == 2) return "The fog does not pay taxes;" else if (fframe == 3) return "Other birds do not like the loudest bird;" else if (fframe == 4) return "Many moose have travelled your path before you;" else if (fframe == 5) return "Autumn has no sense of humor;" else if (fframe == 6) return "Even the clearest glass distorts;" else if (fframe == 7) return "The well has no sympathy for the peasant;" else if (fframe == 8) return "No sandal squeaks without purpose;" else if (fframe == 9) return "A thorn pricks you;" else if (fframe == 10) return "Who is to say the panda would not be vengeful;" else if (fframe == 11) return "Tramp through the darkness;" else if (fframe == 12) return "Work when you can work;" else if (fframe == 13) return "The artisan keeps his hovel tidy;" else if (fframe == 14) return "The sparrow sings of deception;" else if (fframe == 15) return "Tramp through the darkness;" else if (fframe == 16) return "Who is to say the panda would not be vengeful;" else if (fframe == 17) return "A thorn pricks you;" else if (fframe == 18) return "No sandal squeaks without purpose;" else if (fframe == 19) return "The well has no sympathy for the peasant;" else if (fframe == 20) return "Even the clearest glass distorts;" else if (fframe == 21) return "Autumn has no sense of humor;" else if (fframe == 22) return "Tramp through the darkness;" else if (fframe == 23) return "The artisan keeps his shovel tidy;" } function getinsight(){ if (insight > 44) insight = insight - 45 else if (insight > 29) insight = insight - 30 else if (insight > 14) insight = insight - 15 if (insight == 0) return "It tells us the void is empty." else if (insight == 1) return "Only such a thing can change the universe." else if (insight == 2) return "Understand this, and be rewarded with clarity." else if (insight == 3) return "What are the chances?" else if (insight == 4) return "In this, the true spirit hides." else if (insight == 5) return "Effort can be applied here." else if (insight == 6) return "Its center does not rotate." else if (insight == 7) return "The journey may be longer coming back." else if (insight == 8) return "This is why we find the truth so piercing." else if (insight == 9) return "Are we so alike?!?" else if (insight == 10) return "Yet even a bean has a purpose." else if (insight == 11) return "The answer often requires a few extra minutes." else if (insight == 12) return "Some strike with a stick that which they cannot lift." else if (insight == 13) return "The pure own only themselves and maybe some toiletries." else if (insight == 14) return "It will speak to you if you let it." } function getdirective(){ if (directive > 44) directive = directive - 45 else if (directive > 29) directive = directive - 30 else if (directive > 14) directive = directive - 15 if (directive == 0) return "Be like a damp stone." else if (directive == 1) return "If you fall from the tree, leave your anger on the branch." else if (directive == 2) return "Choose to bend or to stretch, but choose only one." else if (directive == 3) return "Fill in every circle completely with a number 2 pencil." else if (directive == 4) return "Spit only where there is a need for spit." else if (directive == 5) return "Always lift with your knees." else if (directive == 6) return "If you need a road, make a road." else if (directive == 7) return "Choose only once between bamboo and wicker." else if (directive == 8) return "Do not carve your initials in anything you would not eat." else if (directive == 9) return "Respect even the space between your toes." else if (directive == 10) return "Step aside when the universe says, 'Hot stuff coming through!'" else if (directive == 11) return "Trust your sense of judging melon." else if (directive == 12) return "It is worse to be covered in molasses." else if (directive == 13) return "If you are a goose among ducks, run fast." else if (directive == 14) return "Confront the great conductor and ask him, 'What's your function?'" }