fEEL mY hATE
Pirate
Warning this is the written and published document on How To Become A Pirate any persons who copy or steal this document will be prosecuted to the full extent of the law.
Before reading this I want you to know that you will need several things before we proceed: Pirate hat, Treasure, One pirate ship, Eye patch, Peg leg, Sword, and a ripped black and white striped shirt. All these items can be found at local pirate store. Now that you have all of your gear we are ready to begin. If you follow these five simple steps and truly believe in them I promise you that you will become a pirate in no time! So lets get started shall we!
Step 1 Cut your leg off! This may hurt for a small amount of time but it will be replaced with a peg.
Step 2 Pop your eye out. I recomend a spoon its slow and painfully thats the best way. You will replace the whole with your patch.
Step 3 Now that the easy steps are over lets get down to business. Put on the rest of your pirate gear!
Step 4 Now board your ship hopefully you remember to buy one or your screwed. Some things you might want to bring are clean underwear, a goat, a pirate language translation book, and lots of hot dogs. You can live off hot dogs for years.
Step 5 Have someone dig you a big hole on a remote island shoot them when they are done and put your treasure in it. Don't forget to make a map and mark the spot with a x.
Congratulations if you have followed each of the five steps and successfully completed them I am now honored to diclaire you a pirate.
Written by Brian Kermen
The creation of this Document was inspired by my good friend Conor O'bryan
