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I read this on the subway last work term... I thought it was pretty clever, and i made the effort to memorize it. Of course, i forgot the author's name.. and i made one significant grammatical error.. but surprisingly enough, the actual author sent me an email and corrected me. Pretty cool! :)
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Three Scoops, Waffle Cone When they took inventory in hell, Veltra thought maybe Garrett had took some paper clips. --Stuard Ross |
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What a waste it is to lose one's mind. Or not to have a mind is being very wasteful. How true that is. --Dan Quayle |
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Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.
--Ernest Hemingway |
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I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to anyone, but they've always worked for me.
--Hunter S. Thompson |
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It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it. --Dan Quayle |
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It is hard to be brave, when you're only a Very Small Animal.
--Piglet, Pooh's Little Instruction Book, inspired by A. A. |
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Cynicism is knowing the price of everything and the value of nothing.
--Oscar Wilde |
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There is a theory which states that if ever anybody discovers exactly what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable. There is another theory which states that this has already happened.
--Douglas Adams |
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The test of a first-rate intelligence is the ability to hold two opposed ideas in the mind at the same time, and still retain the ability to function.
--F. Scott Fitzgerald |
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The basis for optimism is sheer terror.
--Oscar Wilde |
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Most people are other people. Their thoughts are someone else's opinions, their lives a mimicry, their passions a quotation.
--Oscar Wilde |
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You just won't believe how vastly, hugely, mind-bogglingly big (space) is. I mean, you may think it's a long way down the road to the drug store, but that's just peanuts to space.
--Douglas Adams |
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The idea that Bill Gates has appeared like a knight in shining armour to lead all his customers out of a mire of technological chaos neatly ignores the fact that it was he who by peddling second-hand, second-rate technology, led them all into it in the first place.
--Douglas Adams |
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I get all my ideas from a mail order company in Indianapolis. Although I'm not prepared to give you their name.
--Douglas Adams |
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Sex without love is an empty gesture. But as empty gestures go, it is one of the best.
--Allen, Woody |
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Life... is like a grapefruit. It's orange and squishy, and has a few pips in it, and some folks have half a one for breakfast.
--Douglas Adams |
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The ships hung in the sky in much the same way that bricks don't.
--Douglas Adams |
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Ah, this is obviously some strange usage of the word 'safe' that I wasn't previously aware of.
--Douglas Adams, Arthur Dent in "The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy" |
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Most human beings have an almost infinite capacity for taking things for granted.
--Aldous Huxley, "Themes and Variations", 1950 |
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After silence, that which comes nearest to expressing the inexpressible is music.
--Aldous Huxley, "Music at Night", 1931 |
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After silence, that which comes nearest to expressing the inexpressible is music.
--Aldous Huxley, "Music at Night", 1931 |
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I was going to buy a copy of The Power of Positive Thinking, and then I thought:
What the hell good would that do? --Ronnie Shakes |
