First Posted 6.17.1999 Last Update 6.19.1999

Dialogue taken out of Time and Place:

Kosh to Sheridan in episode 101
"I've asked you a lot of questions in the past, Johnny, but here's one that will be very useful -- Would you like fries with that?"

Lorien to Ulkosh in episode 508
"Will you stop eating puppies in the office! What you do at home is your own business, but in this office you do not eat puppies!"

Ulkosh in episode 404
"Children do not like me."

Morden to Sheridan in episode 406
"Why WOULDN'T we sell fried chicken out of the office?"

Sheridan in episode 421
"Fishing with a shotgun and dynamite is not only my Constitution right, but it is also very fair and sporting!"

Ulkosh to Sheridan, referring to Anna, in episode 214
"And John, I think you know her. She's a call girl and a nutritionist. You can't do much better than that."

Richard Belzer's Ulrich to Sheridan in episode 213
"John, I feel that your brain is rather less large than that of an incredibly small and dim ant."

Kosh in episode 404
"I hate mimes."

Steve Jobs's technomage in episode 109
"Technomages do not use Windows."

Morden in episode 104
"I hate Windows."

John in episode 313
"Neek me chawa, wermo mo killee ma klounkee!"

Richard Belzer's Ulrich in episode 202
"What are you running on? Windows? No! No! No!"

Richard Belzer's Ulrich in episode 306
"Samuel! Ewan! Liam! Destroy these PCs with extreme prejudice."

Richard Belzer's Ulrich in episode 312
"We tore out your existing Windows OS and burned it. You'll find that you are now running on a far superior Mac II OS. Us technomages like Macs. Yes."

Morden in episode 318
"Mr. Lorien, sir, there's a monkey in the office."

Ulkosh to Morden in episode 221
"So I says to the guy, I says, 'I don't want vanilla, I want chocolate!', and the guys says to me, 'All we have is vanilla, sir'. Now, you can imagine my reaction, I'm sure. So I pause for a minute, right? One of my big pauses. I make the eye-slit on the Encounter Suit's helmet REALLY small, and I says, 'Fine. But if you put it in a cone, you will die."

Lorien in episode 121
"I'm gettin' too old for this sh ---" (explosion)

Richard Belzer's Ulrich and Kosh in episode 308
Ulrich: "So what is it with you Vorlons and the word 'fire'?"
Kosh: "For effect, mostly. We used to use the word 'puppies', which is Vorlon for death, but in Drazi, 'puppy' means a sexually-transmitted disease, and the humans regard 'puppies' as what we call 'Bringers of Hellstorm and Eternal Pain'."

Ulkosh in episode 414
"If you download that program, you will die."

Anna Sheridan to John in episode 314
"You said I was the only one you'd ever love!!"

Lorien in episode 107
"In all of my billions of years of life, I have learned there is only one key to happiness. Pornography."

Kosh in episode 208
"If you go to Taco Bell, you will die."

Morden in episode 406
"No, seriously, think about it. What's the one thing the First Ones love? Fried foods, right? It's a sure-fire get-rich quick scheme like on those 'I Love Lucy' episodes you love so much, John!"

Ulkosh in episode 313
"If you don't drive a quality Subaru, you will die."

Morden in episode 522
"You had sex with Lochley, too?"

Anna Sheridan in episode 522
"You had sex with Lochley, too?"

Ulrich in episode 522
"You had sex with Lochley, too?"

Kosh in episode 522
"Get some taste, people."

Sheridan to Kosh in episode 104
"Why don't they sell tube socks beyond the Rim?"

Ulkosh in episode 408
"I'm a little teapot, short and stout. Here is my handle and here is my spout. When I get all filled up, I will shout 'Tip me over and pour me out'."

Ulkosh to Kosh in episode 311
"Hey, Koshy, wanna come over and eat some infants?"

Morden and Sheridan in episode 406
Morden: "What if we sold fried fish?"
Sheridan: "No! Chicken! We're selling fried chicken! Do you understand? Chicken!"

Ulkosh in episode 313
"I like ponies."

Ulkosh in episode 313
"I wish I had a pony."

Morden to Ulrich in episode 415
"Talk! Talk! Talk! That's all you technomages ever do!"

Kosh in episode 303
"When I was a child, I fashioned a lightsabre out of wood and scrap. I loved it. I wanted to be a Jedi. Then, my parents threw it out and lied to me, but I knew they took it. They didn't like me. I showed them!"

Ulkosh in episode 303
"When I was a child, I wanted to be a Shadow."

Lorien to Sheridan in episode 107
"You ARE stupid!"

Kosh to Sheridan in episode 102
"If you ever -- EVER -- say 'Up Yours' to me again, I'll kick your sorry ass all the way back to Babylon 5!"

Kosh to Lorien in episode 116
"I love you."

Sheridan and Kosh in episode 122
Sheridan: "Do they have cornflakes in Scotland?"
Kosh: "No."

Sheridan and Ulkosh in episode 508
Sheridan: "I always liked Kosh better."
Ulkosh: "I always liked Sinclair better."