The trick (it's to get gullable people to read retarded tracks and convert)
Smozart: OOH! It's going to be something about how kids dress up as ghosts, thereby somehow rejecting god and going tell hell.
Frunkel: That would be narrow-minded and radicalist! Probably.
Smozart: AAAH! Christians!
Frunkel: No dumbass, they're Satanists!
Smozart: What is the difference?
Frunkel: Replace every instance of "God" with "Satan" and you're done
Smozart: COOL! They're gonna sacrafice things!
Frunkel: Gotta sacrafice something, but how are they gonna get kids to worship Satan?
Smozart: Give them candy!
Frunkel: So by giving children razor blades in candy, thereby causing them to die FAR AWAY from your little easy bake coven, you are somehow sacraficing them to Satan!
Smozart: Hey they get spells! They must be 8th level clerics! [see Dark Dungones. It's not on this page, but can be found at this site. This document is quite possibly the funniest thing I have read in my life.]
Frunkel: Hey, that witch laughs like Nelson!
Smozart: Since when is posion a treat?
Frunkel: They're Satanists! They say hello and mean goodbye, and they sacrafice children as opposed to pleasure
Smozart: Oooh, low blow
Frunkel: The kid is dressed like a devil. Never was a subtle one was he?
Smozart: And a witch. She must be an 8th level-
Frunkel: The joke is over! Give it up!
Smozart: HAHAHAHAHA! That witch sure showed them!
Frunkel: Serves them right!
Smozart: Explain how?
Frunkel: Eating candy given to you by a Satanist!
Frunkel: The child was killed by candy?
Smozart: That's the way to go! Hey look, that witch is tricking the family. HAHA! Score one for the bad guys!
Smozart: OH MY GOD! THE BIBLE IS KILLING HER!
Frunkel: I think it's a metaphore.
Smozart: A metaphore for what?
Frunkel: Don't mess with god!
Smozart: Hey, Satan laughs like Nelson too!
Frunkel: It says he's supposed to be tormented too, why is he laughing if he's being tormented?
Smozart: He's Satan! He can do whatever he wants! Also, I think he's a sadist!
Frunkel: A teenager who doesn't want to go to Sunday school? It must be the work of the devil!
Smozart: Don't laugh, that's probably what he's getting at!
Smozart: HA! The witch has the most sense of them all!
Frunkel: Do people actually talk like that?
Smozart: Does the world actually work like that?
Frunkel: AH, touche!
Frunkel: Well that is an interesting interperation. Wrong, but interesting.
Smozart: I didn't know druids worshipped Satan...
Frunkel: To Jack Chick, Satan means any god, except certin forms of the Christian God.
Smozart: So how many people worship this particular version of God?
Frunkel: Just Jack.
Smozart: Well that's new.
Frunkel: I think this panel speaks for itself!
Smozart: I can think of some Jewish people who might take offence to him using the star of david in place of a pentagram...
Frunkel: Yah, ALL of them!
Frunkel: Have you noticed all the books he is hocking are published by his company?
Smozart: Have you noticed that his tracts seem to be written by colour-blind monkeys with no sense of direction?
Frunkel: I was being serious!
Smozart: So was I!
Frunkel: Once again, who talks like that?
Smozart: Jack Chick I guess...
Frunkel: That's gotta be it! Satan is the reverse of God, so if we have faith in him, he gets weaker!
Smozart: I guess that means we should all become Satanists!
Frunkel: And posion candy!
Smozart: Isn't the halloween razor candy one of those storiest that everyone tells despite the fact that it isn't true?
Frunkel: Well, to be honest, so is the bible...
Smozart: I'll tell you how to shut her up! USE YOUR DEVIL MAGIC!! You've gotta be an 8th level cleric by now-
Frunkel: Give it up, that joke is OVER!
Smozart: In what religion did JESUS create the universe?
Frunkel: In Jacks religion. Just take Christianity, cut out the old testiment, then replace every mention of the word "God" or "Lord" with "Jesus"...
Frunkel: WOW! She got them praying in 20 minutes! She should become a door-to-door God salesman!
Smozart: Like a Jahova's Wittness?
Smozart: Well they sure showed Satan!
Frunkel: (looks at his watch) much faster then usual!
Smozart: This is usually where we learn a lesson...
Frunkel: I learned that teenaged years are caused by Satan.
Smozart: I guess that means we should kill all teenagers...
Frunkel: I guess....
Frunkel: Wow, a Jesus legal form!
Smozart: Note to readers: Print this form off, check "NO" and send it in to them. HAHAHAHA! That'd be funny.
Frunkel: If you do that, e-mail Mozart Smozart for me, I want to hear every detail!