Below are the greatest works of in literary history. Thousands of years from now, they will be looked upon as mankinds greatest achievement. I am, of course, refering to the Haikus* that were written at the back of history class with the sole purpose of insulting Dustin.
Credit where credit is due: The vast majority of these Haikus were written by myself and Ian Hankenson(?) (Sorry if I spelt your last name wrong...) The imaginary friends one belongs to Ryan Viger (He says its pronounced Vee jay but we all know he's lying). The three in bold were written by Mark Lewis, after seeing this site and becoming inspired. If you want to send in Haikus for Dustin, you can use e-mail them to me. LAST UPDATE: 11/1/02.

Where are all your friends?
Oh yah, they do not exist!
You do not have friends!

What is that rank stink?
It must be massive B.O.!
Buy some soap you fool!

We tried to do this one in true Japanese style...
You are weak like girl!
The soft flower is stronger!
You have no honor!

Why are you so sad?
Where are your imagined friends?
Even they hate you!

Dustin is stupid
Monkeys are smarter then he
Why is he so dumb?

You are a pig-dog
Your face makes small children cry
Why do you still live?

You can't write Haikus
They reek like a pile of shit
Much like you yourself.

You hair is just grease
You can fry bacon on it!
It smells like a rat

You talk like a fool
Learn to speak proper English
Or I'll kick your ass!

Why don't you shut up?
We don't want to hear you speak!
You sound like a mule!

Girls think you are stank
Because you really are stank!
You will die alone

Stop being a fag!
To bad, that's impossible!
Because you are gay

Who's as dumb as you?
No one is as dumb as you!
We all know you're dumb!

Where is all the grease?
That's right, it's on your head!
We need grease for fries

Tech-decks are for fags
Because you use a teck-deck...
You are a big fag!

Boy you sure are gay
Gay is not strong enough word
You are super-gay!

You shall fall to me!
Like snow in an avalanche!
By my fists of steel!

hey guess what greasy
I have a present for you
razors for you wrists

whats up with your hair
it sure looks like a corn field
shave your head drag queen

whats up with your boots
nazis wear doc martins fool
to poor to buy shoes?

The wuss grew a spine
Now I will have to break it
Your days are numbered


That's going to be it for a while, history is over. Time for a whole new semester. I will try to aquire Ians copy of the Haiku list as it is more complete then mine.

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*Haiku is an ancient form of Japanese poetry. The first line has 5 Syllables, the next has 7 and the last has 5 again.