Le Vacation
Jim hadnt been to the Brest peninsula for nye on 3 years so jumped at the idea when Ma Perrott mentioned it over a Big Mac at Bron-y-Maen one morn. Ma said that Jim could take one friend so he rang Stevie 'Wah-Wah' Griffiths at 555-DISCO.
After Pelectricity said that he would be up for it, Jim put his things into the Jubilee Moonbeam that had been fortified after a recent spate of attacks that had rendered the Moonbeam's aerial broken. Pat suspected local fish-filleter Pete Mistletoe but concrete evidence was lacking.
Pelmut was travelling lightly, taking only a gramaphone and some brylcream.Perrott wanted to take clothes but there was no space in the boot of the Peugeot due to Pelmut's vinyls, but he couldn't wait to tuck into the French version of the Big Mac - le Mac Grande.
By Oxford Jim was getting restless due to the lack of stimuli whilst Stevie 'chilled' listening to acid underground disco riffs. Jim noticed a vehicle gaining ground quickly in the side view mirror but thought nothing of it until there was a loud crash. Looking again he saw his worst nightmare - the terror float, supercharged to M4 speeds using a mixture of ice cream and spinach oils Pete had cooked up.Leonard Lane was already ripping off 'souvenirs' with a trowel whilst Pat was on top of the moonbeam taking lumps out of the paintwork. "Damn it Misjlen", shouted Jim before he got his carpet knife and went out of the sun-roof with it between his teeth."Take over driving Steve" Jim said although he wasnt sure how well he had heard him due to the spicy cigarette pelmut had smoked in Membury services.
Up on the roof Jim grabbed Poot in Gorilla Monsoon's signature move 'the herbivore' and threw him off the roof and onto a Renault Espace travelling behind them. "We'll meet again Jim, in this life or the next" warned poot as he rolled off onto the asphalt. It was questionable whether Pelfonic had actually done anything as the smell of hemp hung like a stallion in the air.
It was night before they got on the ferry. Jim went to the tie rack to get some socks whilst Steve went up on top deck for a cheeky smoke of 'Moroccan magic'.Up on the top deck was local Dover-Calais Don Tim 'Bambino' Shotgun.He was busy with some 'associates' getting rid of 5'6" of evidence against his racketeering project. Pearlmut said nothing although his mind was racing with thoughts of consuming the 28 disco biscuits he had brough in his bumbag.
The weather was warm when the Peugeot and its battered cargo arrived at Brest caravan park.Pelmut's input since Calais had been minimal due to him swallowing what seemed to jim to be 28 sweets and freaking out so he had been put in the caravan for safe keeping.
After rigging up the moonbeam and unleashing pelmut who went to check out the tunes at the clubhouse, Jim went next door to borrow some Blancmange and pollyfilla. Unbeknown to Jim was that the inhabitants of next door were none other than rock band KORN who were practicing when Jim knocked."I said fuck you, im fed up with you, im not as good as you fuck it im one better than you".Jim quickly got fed up and went next door. In the next caravan was law enforcement officer Sheriff John Burnell Ret. "Have you seen a man, 5'7", 1970's clothing, balloon of hair, disco shades, platform shoes?", "Uh, no, i dont watch Crossroads", Jim stuttered before he ran back and started loading the moonbeam up with the patio furniture Jim longed to use before speeding up to the clubhouse. "Stevie - lets move its the cops!", warned Jim "the cops - shit!" said the fonz as he rammed handfuls of grass into his mouth to rid of the evidence. "Lets roll".
It ended up being a quiet drive home with Stevie monged out like a teacosy in the back seat although all was not wasted as Jim managed to get a big Mac from a drive thru near Basildon.
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