Big Bass
This is a story written up by a bunch of the Awesome Scoiety for Stuff people. I don't know how it came to be. It just did.
The folks who wrote this "story" are Fetor41, Bobo, myself, GreenValkyrie, GameStar, and Icewind.
Enjoy! ... I guess.
BIG BASS
Ok Me and my dad were driving through the town next to ours and there was this motel called "the Big Bass motel", and it was at night and the 'B' in Bass was burnt out and it said "The Big _ass Motel"!
hahaha it was the funniest thing in the world!
We rode past the motel and then came to a road splitting as a fork. It was time to decide which route to go. My dad chose the left road, without seeing the Road Work Ahead-sign, and the abominable snowman crashed through the windshield!
His snow fists pistoned out at Fetor, but the snowman had apparently forgotten that he was made of snow, and after his fists burst apart on the windshield, the snowman was promptly run over and flattened into a mess of dirty, soggy snow. Alright son, let's have a snowball fight! said Fetor's dad. Fetor and his dad started making snowballs out of the remains of the Snowman when suddenly the snowman mewled indignantly: "Hey! That's my body you're throwing with!"
"AAAAAH!!!" Screamed Fetor, for he didn't realise that touching the Snowman would cause frostbite. "My hands, I..I can't feel my hands!!"
"I'll save you son!" said Fetor's dad. As Fetor's dad struggled to get to his little boy, he felt a sharp poke in his backside. He turned his head and noticed the snowman's carrot between his buttocks. The snowman's melted, twisted face glared up at him in a mad grin. He tried and tried to pull the carrot out of his backside, but no, the Snowman's evil grinned widened, and its beedy dark eyes hypnotized him leaving him in a trance.
"Noooooooo!!!" yelled the young Fetor as he ran to his father's aid.
"Save yourself my boy!" said his dad weakly.
"N..No, dad I..I won't!!" said the brave Fetor. Fetor's hands were frostbitten, they were numb and he couldn't feel a thing so he decided to use his hands as a weapon. He envisioned his hands as two heavy mallets and began to pound away at the carrot. After many a beating, the carrot broke in half as Fetor let out a shrill cry, then in an instant Fetor's dad felt a fart coming up. He gritted his teeth and with all his might, fired the chunk of carrot from his backside, through the contorted head of the snowman. The snowman gargled and fell into a pile of snow again.
Fetor hugged his dad, but behind them, the metal skeleton of the snowman rose out of the snow! Fetor looked up into the shining red pinpricks inside the metal eyesockets and went for the car, opened the trunk and took out the fishing pole. Fetor thought he could catch the metal skeleton on his hook and somehow drag it from the bumper of his father's car.
"Dad hurry start the car!!" said Fetor as he taunted the metal skeleton towards himself. Fetor's dad managed to open the car door after struggling with the keys. As he was about to go inside, he realized he could not sit down, it was much too painful. Meanwhile, the metal skeleton kept chasing Fetor. Fetor was running backwards swinging his pole unsuccesfully trying to catch the metal skeleton, and instead caught a bad case of diahreah. Fetor's dad knew the car was crappified from the battle. They left the car and began walking back to the Big Ass Motel. Fetor was about to explode. "WHERE THE HELL IS A BATHROOM!!??" he screamed. His dad looked at him, then looked at the woods around them.
"Uh...son, you could...perhaps...relieve yourself in the woods. Nobody will see." Fetor's dad said. Slowly, cautiously, Fetor went into the Forest to rid himself of some bowel material when a crazy squirrel jumped from an above try landing on Fetors head and biting him in his face. Fetor tried to punch the squirrel but the squirrel was just to quick and dodged, making fetor punch himself in the face. Seeinh its chance, the squiirell jumped in Fetors pants. Then the squirl found nuts!
he quickly pulled them from their protective sack and buirried them in the dirt.
a few months pass and the nuts become undead zombies. Fetor has gone back to his home where he feels safe. he hears a knock on the front door. he gets up and answers it. two rotted, undead nuts look up at him, the quickly roll into the house. in horror, fetor backs away quickly falling down the stairs and landing on
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