Familiar Weaknesses and Equipment
Warning: This list includes post-ascension familiars, so, yeah, it's spoilery...
| Familiar | Weak Event | Text | Equipment | Haiku |
Angry Goat | Scavenger Hunt | (NAME) keeps getting distracted from the hunt and randomly ramming into things. | prosthetic forehead | Bearded quadruped Ill-tempered, furry, horny Butts heads with buttheads. |
Baby Gravy Fairy | Cage Match | (NAME) is too busy being cute to fight very effectively. | eye-pod | A mushroom with wings Monsters can be generous So dance, magic, dance. |
Barrrnacle | Cage Match | Being completely immobile, (NAME) sucks at cage matches. Which is unsurprising, given that (NAME) sucks at pretty much everything. | sucky decal | Crusty crustacean This little guy really sucks Your foe's will to live. |
Blood Faced Volleyball | Cage Match | (NAME) not having any teeth, claws, or weapons, is not particularly well-suited for this event. | palm-frond toupee | Icky sporting goods Spiritual enhancement Obvious pairing? |
Cocobo | Obstacle Course | (NAME) is no good at the obstacle course race. Nobody is quite sure why. | chocolate spurs | Chocolate feathers Healing, fighting scavenging Give monsters the bird. |
Fuzzy Dice | None | N/A | meatcar model | Groovy plushness, but What does it do? Better ask "What doesn't it do?" |
Ghost Pickle on a Stick | Obstacle Course | (NAME) keeps getting stuck in the obstacles because of its skewer. | skewer-mounted razor blade | Salty, translucent floats above, its only need to lay dill smack down. |
Ghuol Whelp | Obstacle Course | (NAME) keeps getting distracted by nearby corpses, and takes an especially long time to get through the course. | tiny knife and fork | Eater of the dead Appetizing diet? No. Good for you? Oh yes. |
Grue | Scavenger Hunt | (NAME)s vision isn't very good in this light. Or any light, for that matter. | moonglasses | In darkness is strength Thrill me, chill me, fulfill me Creature of the night. |
Howling Balloon Monkey | Hide and Seek | The squeaking makes it really easy for (NAME) to be found. Or maybe it's the howling. Either one. | tiny balloon knife | So full of hot air Inflatable simian Shockingly useful. |
Killer Bee | Hide and Seek | (NAME) buzzes too loudly to stay hidden very well. | brass stinger | Hovers like a b ASCII and ye shall receive Several nasty stings. - Warpeth of Zonee |
Leprechaun | Obstacle Course | (NAME) is too short to get over most of the obstacles. | meat detector | Tiny Irish guy Strange accent and wardrobe, but His friendship is rich. |
Levitating Potato | Cage Match | (NAME) is a lover, not a fighter. Well, not really -- potatoes just suck at this event. | many-eyed glasses | An eye for an eye Hey, hovering potato Might trip up your foes. |
Mosquito | Hide and Seek | (NAME) buzzes incessantly, making it very difficult to remain concealed. | hypodermic needle | From pest to helper A sucker for a good meal This blood's for you, man. |
Sabre-Toothed Lime | Scavenger Hunt | (NAME) has no eyes, and so is not exactly the best choice for this event. | tiny shaker of salt | Sharp and acidic Forget tequila and salt No bark but great bite. |
Spooky Pirate Skeleton | Hide and Seek | The clattering of (NAME)'s bones are a dead hiding-place giveaway. | blundarrrbus | Undead swashbuckler With his sword and spookiness Who's your bone daddy? |
Stab Bat | Hide and Seek | (NAME) has no interest in hiding. (NAME) only has an interest in stabbing things. | shock collar | Man, that's wicked sharp: Self-swinging bloodthirsty sword But it cuts both ways. |
Star Starfish | Hide and Seek | (NAME) shines too brightly to hide very well. | magnifying glass | Out of mojo blues? Do you believe in magic? Wish upon this star. |
Hovering Sombrero | Cage Match | (NAME) cannot fight. (NAME) can only hover. Hover on, (NAME)! | tiny maracas | Airborne headgear? ¡Si! Almost seems to grin at you... Misterioso. |
Whirling Maple Leaf | Hide and Seek | (NAME) can't hide very well, because it can't stop rustling. | tiny Mountie hat | A restoring touch Dead foes and the dirty ground That's what I'm aboot. |
Coffee Pixie | None | N/A | miniature expresso maker | Wingéd caffeine buzz All that jitters is golden Quickly snags you loot. |
Cheshire Bat | Wings and lots of teeth A wink, a smile, and you'll be Buffer and richer. | |||
Jill-O-Lantern | None | N/A | 100-Watt bulb | Hail the pumpkin queen Soul food and flaming death rays From her mouth and eyes. |
Hand Turkey | Gobble gobble hey Beak and fingers hunt and peck Victory and Meat. | |||
Crimbo Elf | Crimbo gifts for you: Smackdown and shakedown for loot Ho ho ho ki yay. | |||
Hanukkimbo Dreidl | None | N/A | menorette | Made of magic clay Ancient toy, random rewards Oy to you and me. |
Baby Yeti | Penguin-chucking tot Summons magic light-shows, too Ouch, the colors, man. | |||
Feather Boa Constrictor | Silky, sultry snake Uses its feminine wiles Foes blush, then pass out | |||
Emo Squid | Life is so hard for This weeping cephalopod. Nobody loves him. | |||
Personal Raincloud | May flowers? No sir. Raindrops falling on your head bring random goodness. | |||
Clockwork Grapefruit | Obstacle Course | (NAME) doesn't do very well in the obstacle course, because (NAME) believes in destroying obstacles, not avoiding them. | false eyelashes | Ultraviolent, this horrorshow familiar spills red, red kroovy. |
MagiMechTech MicroMechaMech | Scavenger Hunt | (NAME) keeps accidentally blowing up the items it's trying to find. | targeting chip | Iron giant? No. But the midget does bring game: laser, missile, stomp. |
Flaming Gravy Fairy | Effeminate shroom Deals hot damage, loots monsters, Does it all with style. | |||
Frozen Gravy Fairy | None | N/A | None | Getting cold in here, Watch how monsters drop their loot! Iced, iced, baby. Word. |
Stinky Gravy Fairy | Getting hard to breathe, monsters lose their loot (and lunch.) I guess it's worth it. | |||
Unknown Familiar #37 | ||||
Inflatable Dodecapede | Twelve arms to hold you Mighty when full of hot air Over time it sinks. | |||
Pygmy Bugbear Shaman | Abracadabra Phat loot falls and stats increase Using your magic | |||
Doppelshifter | ||||
Blank familiar #41 | ||||
News
4/10/05
Okay, so it's now three weeks, I said "Should"... Anyway, I've done the Haikus for all the familiars upto #39 and added vague notes about #40 (as the name suggests it changes form so I'm not sure if it actually has any details). The familiar equipment and familiar item (like eggs and stuff) are harder to find than the haikus as they aren't immediately accessible. I really will try to have it done by the end of this week, as I seem to have loads of hour long gaps in my timetable when I have net access. :-)
17/09/05
Had to update the site again, don't try using too many links as most won't work yet... It should be sorted out within a week...
Maybe... ;-)
03/09/05
Another update, now clicking on the Familiar Equipment name will open a new window with the description of that item. I'll probably italicise (hmm, is that spelt right?) the names of the items that aren't the standard +5 lb later today, or tomorrow, but don't expect me to change this news or anything. :-)
27/08/05 (or 08/27/05 if you're from a mm/dd/yy country, whatever)
I've updated the site (yey!), The familiars' Haiku is now included, they have pictures and clicking on the familiar name opens a new window giving the ingame description of the familiar item (I thought of having the item name in the table link to it, but that would make the table too big).
Also, in extending the familiars list to encompass the Familiars-of-the-month and Post-Ascension Familiars I've got a lot more gaps (well, less "gaps" overall, but the remainder are more apparent), so information on their items etc. would be welcomed.
Lastly, the two blank familairs are there so i don't have to do so much to add new familairs to this list (yeah, I'm lazy).
Also lastly, for people who bother to look, yes there are only 39 entries, it's Jick being Triskaidekaphobic
Notes
As is apparent I don't have the combat stats or equipment for most the Familiars in the Mr. Accessory store (It seems possible that they don't have any weaknesses though...), if anyone wants to send me any of the familiars (it might work) or their details, please feel free to send them to #16860
The table is pretty big now, and I run my computer on quite a high resolution (1280*960), so I apologise if the table is really crunched up. If you're using I.E. try going View -> Text Size -> Smallest. Other browsers probably have a way to do it too...
Credits
Thanks to Spiderwoman (#308750) for details on the coffee sprite
Thanks to TripperDay (#235520) for details on the Jill-O-Lantern
Thanks to GlassCobra15 (#347516) for details on the Hovering Sombrero, and for getting me to update this site :-)