A Server For The Masses
Mood:  chillin'
Now Playing: Finger 11 - One Thing
Alright, since my reader is getting a little testy...I suppose I'll not do my English assignment and rant about something. Yes, I do believe ranting is more important than school. Well, for now at least since yesterday I did homework (listened to music, chatted online, and looked at my homework is a bit more precise) for 5 hours straight, I'll take a break by entertaining the masses (heh). But what to rant about exactly?....

:: Thunder :: BRAINSTORM :: Lightning ::

1. Servers and how great they are for Starcraft
2. School is for playing games in Networking
3. Hacking is for 31337 h4x0r5 that can actually get through my firewall

In fact, I just got my topic. Why are people so intent on hacking my computer that in a total of two hours I would have 300+ attempts to access my computer from someones personal computer. And most of these have the same IP address, so I know that there's either a lot of computers that use a single cloaked IP that are trying to take over my computer, or one person trying to take it. Either way, my firewall has won over 300 times, so my real [rhetorical] question is this. Why do they keep trying? I may have to refer to my past experiences and total lack of caring whether my idea is correct or not, because you see, it can be right, or it can't, either way, I win.
So, on to my theory. See, I'm thinking that instead of doing the cool thing and making the game Doom work as an administrative tool (really long story...and I'll probably explain), they decided to use their programming skills to create a new type of hacker. The Doom H4x0R. This is a type of hacker that has the mind for creating a virus powerful enough to self propagate through download.com by finding a certain unknown hole in Norton Antivirus and Novell 5.1 overlapped by a Suse Linux OS which is inevitably running on download.com's server (I assume, therefore I know), then slipping the virus, which will be able to detect the server's usage limit (which if exceeded, the server would turn off) and make sure to always stay below that limit while inserting itself into every installation file on the server. It would be a good plan, but see, the Doom H4x0R is too busy turning Doom into a vehicle for slightly better than average hacking. And since they're actually playing a game, this is why they can try and break into my computer, which has 56k, more than 300 times.

Anyway, even if they continue being such the insanely apt to destroy the internet, but not deciding to do so, I'll still win because I have 56k. And even if somehow, they shoot a big hole into my OS with their rifle (assuming they're still playing Doom) I'll still win because not only do I have backups, but was also planning on erasing my computer again.

That's enough ranting for me.
I'm Josh, and I'm out.
Here's your thought: "Hmm...I think Max stole my ending thing....He has thoughts as well?!? No one shall have thoughts but ME!!!"

"Bwahahahahahaha, breakin out the rifles of hacking and bustin caps in your hard drive."

Pandora muahahaha...(fade off into space directly from evil laugh)
Mood:  caffeinated
Now Playing: Donnie Darko Soundtrack - Manipulated Living
Ok, as of around 10 seconds ago, I began to not care about the emoticon thing and apparently randomly chose caffeinated. I find it ironic. You might too if you had any idea how long I've been awake (almost 37 hours). See, now you do. Unless you totally missed that parenthesized statement.

Anywho (proper grammar? who needs it? : answer= me), I should talk about something. Hmmm.....Movies. Especially with the aptly chosen song above. In fact, I've seen that movie 4 times. And one of the times was with commentary. Watched it the whole way through with commentary last night/this morning. It is a great movie, and now I realize that not even the writer has any clue what it's about at the end of the movie. At least now, I know I'm not alone.

That's enough about Donnie Darko (#1: I'm too tired to continue, #2: I Recall no #2). So, on to the movie I watched last night. Hero starring Jet Lee (spelling? eh...). To make a long story short, the previews lied, it's a decent movie, and therefore gets a rating of 2 out of 4 Home Alone 3's.

Well, I'm done, and must sleep because....way too much awake.

Here's your (my) thought.
"Next time you go to a haunted house, I wouldn't be surprised if you heard Manipulated Living from the Donnie Darko soundtrack and thusly crapped your pants."

Ah, The Sweet Sweet Smell Of Realworld Emoticons...
Now Playing: Green Day - Warning
Mood: Rocker

Yep, I'm going to make my own moods from now on. One's that fit my actual mood a little better.

Anyway, I have no rant right now. Although, I might just carry on about how the blog editor has no real world emoticons. Maybe if I do, Angelfire will update the wonderful interface yet again and add in emoticons like 'pissed: ' and possibly even 'Happy Go-Lucky: '. Doubting the last one will be added, but we'll see. Oh, we will.

Anyway, they need some emoticons...blah blah....heard it all have you? I'll show you heard it all. Wait, I just got an idea! I could add a bunch of realworld emoticons to my blog, one rant at a time, and for those who want them, just copy the code! Or not. Either way, I still gain the +14 point bonus from my wonderpoints (it's where you push up the points so they look bigger).

Well, I'm out.
Here's your thought: Why do people not like the movie Donnie Darko? Is it because people have the attention span of...
:: smacks reader upside the head ::
as I was saying, the attention span of a cricket? I think....
:: Whacks reader with a bucket of MSG ::
Well, I think that was a useful waste of time (hmm....somewhat oxymoron-ish, eh?).

"But, Josh! That wans't even a thot!!!rofl!!!11!"

Dear Badly Schooled Individual,
Screw you.
Sincerely,
I'm greater than most people in public school.

P.S. No, I don't know how they get that to fit on my Driver's License.

Wow, If I knew Programming...
Now Playing: Hoobastank - Crawling in the Dark
Mood: P.O.ed


How's that for a real world emoticon? Eat that angelfire.

Anyway, I'm going to rant about, you guessed it (or not...most likely) Microsoft. Guessed it? Didn't think so. If you did, have yourself a piece of cheesecake from the cheesecake factory. And be sure to buy the $50 cake. Don't be a penny pincher, cause pennypinchers just look funny, because the penny is never going to get smaller (damn your technicalities).

Well, first things first, Microsoft. If I could program, I would spend a good 3 days of programming and create an operating system that would basically be as good as windows 95, but see, mine would be a lower featured version. Why I would do this is that, every week or so, I'd create a plug-in for it that would either give it a new feature or make it look better. Then, once every 10 or 20 plug-ins, I would sell update discs for a dollar per disc. What most people don't get is that if you build a good operating system (by good, I mean sturdy and not extremely buggy) and sell it at a low price, it will sell extremely well. And with all the customers who buy it, you would have a wide market for frequent update discs at low low prices but still have a very large revenue.

I could give out generalized statistics (and will), like 1 in 4 families having a computer and, on average (based on a 5 person per family estimate and 350 million people in the U.S. [assuming that extra languages is too much of a hassle), it's a 17.5 million person industry. And let's just assume that only 1%, wait no, lets go lower, .1% buy your OS. That's 1,750,000 people buying your disc at lets say $20 (even $10) a disc. That's a lot of money, and when you factor in the update discs, holy crap. The income is insane.

Now, you see my point. If Microsoft wasn't a bunch of money grubbing whores, not only would they have less problems with pirating, but also, a still insane amount of revenue (they'd still have 50-60% of the computer buying community to sell to). Maybe not ungodly amounts, but still enough to buy Canada.

I'm done, and if I owned Microsoft, I'd buy Canada.

*The Above Statistics Are Not Approved By The U.S. Census And Most People In Lithuania*

A Little Fine Tuning
Mood:  accident prone
Now Playing: Green Day - American Idiot
Wow, these emoticons are gay beyond all belief. It's almost insane...So much stupid stuff on the internet now a days (wow, overused phrase...?)

See, this is why I should train my ranting skills up. Apparently, the only person who reads this is Max. The reason for this is probably that I don't actually tell people about this blog if they don't find it on their own. And even then, some people don't become regular readers. So, it seems I am not putting out (heh) high enough quality content for these people who couldn't think up the things I type here if they were continually bludgeoned with a large, metallic object. Which wouldn't be a bad idea. Maybe a car fender, with duct tape around the thin, handle type, part so you wouldn't get cut or anything while the bludgeoning commenced. And all the while, I would be typing down crap that no one reads just for the sake of ranting.

Anyway, before I get carried away (which I either did, or soon would have), I'm going to do what I normally do, but this time, with more thought and possibly even gusto. Yes, I will most definitely use those words in this rant. I am pretty tired and may not have the greatest ranting capabilities, but I'll put forth the maximum effort allocated to me being an ass and possible entertain you.

Sexual Innuendo: An awesome tool, or just blatant cheap laugh machine?
I, personally, think both, but that's just my opinion. As is everything else I say/type in this blog. Yet, I still have people (maybe 2!) who read this and (very likely) agree with at least some of it, thusly spreading my opinions on to other people. Ah, the power of subliminal advertising. My plan in the next part of this rant is to do what I would normally do, but also add subliminal things to make you want something. If I do it correctly, it will be great, otherwise, it'll be a complete waste of time. Either way, I win.

So, on with the rant.
The world needs a lot of things. And the most needed thing of all is to build a massive building, around 100-150 stories high made of heavy duty steel (because dirt is heavy) and fill each story with a plantation. This would have to happen after we create a powerful enough spacecraft to go to jupiter or some other planet with insane amounts of hydrogen so we would have enough to easily soak them in it instead of soil. Not sure if this would be required (or possible without destroying the crops), but I'm sure something awesome would result. Anyway, put nutrients and whatever else the plants need into the hydrogen they are soaking in. Then, once all of the food was produced, we'd be able to sell it at low low prices and make lots of money and solve world hunger and whatever other awesome things would result.
Anyway, That's about all the rant I have. And I'm going to, once this rant is over, use what Max does as my ending thing. Just substitute my name and another phrase. It's sad to think that I actually typed this. Especially without any credible information. If I were forced to create a 'works cited' page for this I'd be screwed. In fact, here you go.

**Works Cited**

Rodriguez, Charlie, "The World Is An Oyster, Suck It Up", 6-14-99, p.28

Jeff, Screamin', "Trials And Tribulations Of A Stunt Diving Salesman: An Autobiography", 2-28-01, p.44

**

I'm Josh Allison, welcome to my nightmare.

Random Acts of Espionage
Mood:  quizzical
Now Playing: Puddle of Mudd - Away From Me
The above icon represents not my mood, but the fact that quizzical is a great word.

Anyway, before the rant, I'll tell you why yesterday was awesome. It won't take long. I swear.

Yesterday, I went to a concert at the fair (the only real reason ever to go to the fair). It featured Puddle of Mudd, Nickelback, and a band I had never heard of called Finger 11. What was best, was our seats. Fourth row, center.

See, that wasn't even a waste of your time. Oh wait...wasn't that just me somewhat bragging? Nah...couldn't be.

Well, on to the rant which somewhat pertains to the title of this entry. What this country needs is a slow but sure progression into massive amounts of random espionage. what I mean by this is that the U.S. should send people to spy on randomly chosen places using what I'd like to call (if I ever invent it) the "random places to be espionage...d.. generator". This program/gigantically awesome machine (yet to be decided) would pick a random country other than the U.S. and print out a paper telling who and what the espionage would be.

Example:

Random Places to be Espionage...d.. v.3.4

Where: Uruguay
What: Espionage (the informative kind)
Who: Guy at the concert last night who could have made me laugh for about an hour if he would have passed out from screaming so much (hereafter known as Screamin Jeff the Spectacular Stunt Diving Salesman.
When: Once Screamin Jeff stops screaming enough to tell him about it.

Yep, it would be the greatest. Slowly go from once every month to once or twice a day. The other countries would just get used to it.

That's my idea people, get used to it.

Ranting is.....
Today, I had nothing to rant about, except that I finally got done with drivers ed, but that's about me isn't it? And for everyone who reads this (max), they know that this space is 90% devoted to annoyances and possible restitutions I should be payed for my greatness, and the other 10% is for other miscellaneous crap. This 'crap' consists mostly of crappy rants and me talking about things...

Well...

Okay, right now, on to the rant. What will it be about? Ranting. I am going to rant about ranting. Won't this be fun? Yes, I think it will.

Alright, some people can't rant. Those people need to be named. So, Max can go ahead and do the honors if he so wishes, because aside from his rantings (which are good), I don't read other blogs due to the utterly overwhelming amounts of crap. Seriously, just look at the poorly thought out demographic text (no picture....sorta defeats the prupose) I just made up.

My Blog of Rants:
Crap level: 10% or less
Awesome level: 90% or more

Other peoples rantings:
Crap level: 100%
Awesome level: 2%

Yes, for those of you who DID get an elementary education, that does equal out to more than 100%.
"But why, Josh? You're always on the ball! ROFL!" -- Mandy Lu Thorley
Well, I'll tell you, random person I just made up. See, I used the extra 2% to describe the endless ranting possibilities they give me. I mean, if I just read one of them, I would have weeks of great ranting content. But, I'm assuming that by reading all of this annoyingly stupid crap, I would slowly rid myself of my diamond edged wit. So, by not reading them, and thusly keeping my wit at it's current status, I will always give you seemingly interesting content.

So, it's that time again. Here's your thought.
"There's a large amount of annoying blogs on the internet, so get wise, and keep your eyes on the lookout for crap when you see it."

Time is for cooking and old people.....and cooking old people
When did people begin to use time as a measurement of more than how long something happens and age?

(note the awesome thesis statement)

It occurred to me earlier today that everyone seems to think that if you have more time in which to do something, you will be better skilled at it. Now, see, this makes no sense. Not just to me, but I'm pretty sure most of the people I know will agree when I say that time is almost the smallest part in the metaphorical elixir of skilledness (pro.: skill-ed-ness, enunciate my new words correctly, people). Where most of your skill comes from is practice and having more attention span (and possibly depth perception) than a fourth grader on a mixture of crack and ridilin, all washed down with three gallons of Kool-Aid (the kind with extra sugar you mix in yourself). Also, you can't be an old person. Old people mock my theory with those annoying phrases "I'm not old, I just have a lot of experience". Yes, a lot of experience...being old and cenile. Old people are somewhat annoying, but I have to say, some are pretty cool. One example: old people who don't care about being "old and nice and not swearing" around kids. The only good kind of old person is gonna talk about what their friends and them did as kids without dulling down their language.

Well, back to my argument. Now, I didn't say that time didn't have ANYTHING to do with skill. Just that it is a small part of it. And the only reason it is even part of it, is that without time, there would be no frame within which to put the practice. The depth perception and attention, however, cannot really be practiced. For those of you who don't know why these are not skills you can practice, here's your answer. First of all, for the depth perception, you would have to practice judging distance. And we all know that it's funny to mess with people. One example being to put a small, well printed, replica of what they are supposed to judge the distance of. Then, after they guess a large distance, walk three feet and pick it up, then give them a nice hearty laugh. As for attention span...they would probably forget what they were trying to practice and go eat some food. That's what I would do. It would be fun.

Okay, now, on to the real reason I wrote this. Earlier today, I realized that I have to hold my instructional permit for a full 6 months, no matter how much experience I have behind the wheel. No matter how much of a better driver I am than the majority of licensed Iowans. No matter how great I am in general, I still have to hold it 6 months. So, on Tuesday of next week, I will have every requirement except for time. I will have the skill, possibly even better skill than the driving instructors, but no license. And even when November 18th comes around, I will only have my intermediate license. That, I have to hold an entire year. A year of no driving past 12:30 pm and before 5:30 am. It actually isn't that bad, and I should stop whining. But, I did put forth a pretty good argument about it, now didn't I?

Here it is. Your thought. Well....Mine...
"If someone ever pays you back more than five dollars, and gives you change...I advise one thing. Throw a couple dollars at them and pick up as much as you can. It's fun, and usually only costs a dollar or two. That'll teach them to pay you in change, now, won't it?"

Good Music And Somewhat Easy Cash
Well, the title is a little backward, but anyway, it still says basically what I wanted it to. Why don't I just change it, you ask? I feel that would take a lot of extra clicking and/or over usage of the backspace key. And, back by popular demand, my theory is that everything has a span of life. So, thusly, I had better not use the key too much or that lifespan may shrink by a noticable .0001 %. And, frankly, people, I don't want to chance this.

Tehn my psots migt look likee thisi. amd that wouldtn be goodd would it??

Anyway, amongst that overly blatant mocking of anyone who was wondering the aforementioned thing, I noticed that I havent actually explained anything that my title said. A whole two things that could easily be explained, were not within the first paragraph. Wow. That is all I have to say about that. Just wow.

Well, on to why good music and somewhat easy cash is awesome. Oh, I'm figuring that most of you know why, but for those of you who don't, here's a quote for you.

"Here, have a ticket for one free punch to the face, redeemable the next time you see me."

Well, anyway, good music is awesome because....well....it always is. But it's much better when you listen to it after making $50. Much much better. And the somewhat easy cash is awesome because it was somewhat easy to get.

Well, that wasn't very informative, now was it?

Nothing to rant about...
Well, I have nothing extremely useful to rant about today...Maybe, if I thought enough, I'd think of something. Hmm....I've got it. I'll rant about how great it would be to see a penguin taking drivers ed.

So, here goes nothing.

It would be really, really great. And funny, because the instructor would be a foreign penguin and not speak the same language. Plus, the penguin taking the class would have to take notes on types of ice in the way and stuff. Wait, that wasn't a good topic at all...Eh, screw it.

So, until next time, How great would it be to see triumph the insult comic dog....in general? Super awesome, thats how great.

Wow, I am really pushing it with all of this non-hilarious stuff. I need sleep. But, later.