Brainstorm...Ahhh......smooth, smooth brainstorm
Ok, seeing that it is 3 am and all, I'm going to try and do a freeform blog entry. It may seem crappy at first, but hey, I have to be up in 5 and a half hours. Which is always fun. Once this entry is done, I'm guessing it will be about quarter to four. Leaving me with 4:45 left. What to rant about. Well, always when freeform doing something, you need to do a brief and quite fast brainstorm. Just to be sure that you get ideas that are decently generalized and easy to write about.

:: boom :: Brainstorm :: thunder ::

1. global warming: what a crock
2. bill clinton: what a whore
3. monica lewinsky: queen of whores
4. Jak and Daxter: why i still hate this game
5. job hunting: where did i put my shotgun?
6. interviews for jobs: yes, i am in fact awesome
7. telemarketers: please wait while we redirect you to hold
8. why 7 items is a bad amount for a list: i hate the number 7

Well, that seems like a good list. Which to pick though. Ahh, yes. I have chosen.

Job Hunting: Where Did I Put My Shotgun?

Well, actually, I just liked this title. But, then again, I did choose it, so I may as well rant.
Yes, jobhunting is a very annoying thing to me and most other people. Number one, it's hellaciously awkward/nerveracking during interviews, number two, a majority of it is a waste of time, and number three, why are applications so boring and useless?
Well, first of all, when people ask you what position you applied for, and you say customer service, that means basically anywhere and if an opening is available, they won't hire you. If you say the position you are looking for is "Anywhere is fine", they won't hire you. If you are perfect for the job, and apply, they won't hire you. The only way to even get an interview is put forth EXTRA effort and call them asking if anyone has seen their application. Then, you have a better chance of getting an interview. But then, the hiring can't be un-discriminant(if there is such a word). Even if it says in the fine print that there will be no discrimination. Only if there was no interview process, and the applications were more extensive would it not have any possibility whatsoever. But, I lept off track there for a minute. I swear, it will probably happen again.

Secondly, and finally for the sake of time, I will do a short rant on global warming. Global warming is a giant crock. It should be tossed out like other ideas of unintelligence. Didn't anyone notice that the 'holes' in the atmosphere were spreading out slowly in those picture they were showing? I am thinking this is to compensate for the lackk of atmosphere in the 'holes'. It seems a whole lot like diffusion to me.

Well, I'm done ranting. Hope I didn't horrifically change your life. Or do I?

Final thought: When exactly did being a complete and total idiot make you think you could criticize awesome people in chatrooms? The awesome ones will always win any and all arguments. Such as myself.

Orange Clockwork? Wait....
Well well well. That time again my little droogies. For those of you who haven't seen "A Clockwork Orange", the phrase 'little droogies' pretty much means friends. So, for those who haven't seen the movie, and hencely, don't know what little droogies are, you should definately go out and spend the dollar to rent it. You most likely won't like it, due to the immense british nature of it, but hey, past the british speech, it's got an awesome plot.

Beyond this point, I have no further to go, so, this will be all for now. And for anyone who feels angry because they went out and rented the movie, only to find that it was the worst piece of cinema they had ever seen...Send me hatemail, and I'll be sure to reply with comments on any spelling or punctuation errors, or even quite possibly, your views in general, by making fun of you and most likely the rest of your family.

Such an awesome movie. Here's a quote.
"And now you see, our humble narrator is being brainwashed."

No Car For You
Why is it that people in general, don't know how to drive? To me, it doesn't seem like a difficult task, but to other people, it's like trying to perform a vasectomy on an un-sedated wrestler. It's almost impossible to think that these people can even put the key in the ignition, let alone start the car.

I'd tell you why they annoy me so bad, but see...Well, nevermind, I'll tell you.

It's because I am a better driver than most people on the road. And I only have my permit. And, to add to their humility, well, not humility, because they have none. But, further pushing toward my point, I only have around 5 hours of total driving experience. The people I'm talking about have had years, and they STILL ride their brake because they don't know how to drive without using both feet. But, hey, it's not my car that will need brake changes 5 or 6 times more often than a normally driven car, now is it? Yet, they still bug me. This isn't the only reason though. The people who ride their brake are also the people who turn on their turn signal as close to their turning point as humanly possible, sometimes even in mid-turn. But, I, as the driver with only my permit, have to keep cool, and make sure not to crash into them doing 40 while blaring my music. I can keep my driving composure while blaring music.

Actually, it's not just the drivers that bug me. Anyone who interferes with me having a good joyride, basically, gets the "I hate you" award. Anyone who wins this award gets a ticket from me, good for one (or more) free punch(es) to the face. Redeemable at the point I give them it. But, beyond these annoyances, are some people who don't irritate me. These are the ones that if I am going the speed limit, will drive around, instead of being complete a-holes and tailgating. And for those who do that, I'm not ever in a hurry, so, I'll slow down for them. It's always a great way to almost physically force them to drive around. And if they don't, it's their choice.

Well, that's enough rant for today. Leaving you with a thought.

Next time you see an annoying kid staring at you that JUST WON'T STOP, be like the ninjas before you and dropkick them in the face.

Ridin along in my automobile...well, sorta
Today was good. In fact, I may even go to the extent as to say it was awesome. But, let me start at the beginning. Also, in shorthand.

Woke up,
Listened to radio,
Ate pizza,
Randy showed up with Lance,
Played pool,
Picked up Tyler,
Saw creepy kid next door who wouldn't STOP STARING,
Stared back,
Randy freaked him out,
Went to Lances Dads garage thing,
Played pool and arcade games,
Awesome,
Went to O'Reilly's and got fuse for Tylers car,
Went to change fuse,
Wrong fuse,
Returned fuse and got right one...that was right next to the wrong one,
Fixed Tylers car,
Sharp turns,
Dropped Lance off at his grandmas...I think,
Joyride,
Went to my house,
PS2, pool table, guitar, pizza,
Joyride,
Came back home,
People left.

And, therefore, today was great. And basically finished around 8-ish with all that.
Once I got home, watched this funny 'This Land' flash animation with G.W. and John Kerry. It was great. Thats all for now.

And always, I AM the voice inside your head. Shut up! No, you shut up.

Hmm, Decapitating Evil Green Demons...
Yea, sounds fun, huh? NO...It isn't. It's just a hyped up way of saying 'mowing the lawn'. Don't get the correlation between the two? Don't know what correlation means?
Well, I've got a word of advice. Learn!
Maybe I should have made it more than one word of advice, 'learn' by itself is too confusing. Umm, how about this. I'll write a short poem explaining how you would figure out what I've been meaning all along. If you don't know what that is exactly, you have the attention span of a cricket with adhd.

Well, anyway, back to mowing the lawn. It isn't a good idea to mow the lawn after having only 3 or 4 hours of sleep. It doesn't exactly add to the enjoyment. Speaking of mowing the lawn, I still technically have the backyard to do. But, also, technically, I also need to clean up the weeds I picked ealier on this month. But, without a yard waste bag, I cannot do this. So, with these priorities in order, I obviously can't mow the lawn.

I see the glaring contradictions...but, contradictions are just the lesbian sisters of correlations. Which makes them both the same amount as awesome to the parents. Nobody likes a person who picks favorites among their children.

So, it seems that my opinion is clear enough. I hate mowing the lawn.

That's enough of my views/opinions/glaring contradictions for today.

I'm done, and always remember:
There may be someone in your head. And if there is, just assume it's me. It'll save everyone time.

101 Reasons Why The 90's Were Great
I was just watching this show on VH1, and something occurred to me. Most of the things they showed, I could remember watching happen on tv, or seeing it somewhere. As I wondered why, I realized it was because VH1 couldn't think of a good show if they were told to at knife point. Even if it were a big rusty, machete sized knife. Especially because the 90's were, what, 4 and a half years ago? Yea, seems like too long of a time to me too, we really DID need VH1 to remind us of the crap that happened. I mean, I wouldn't have been able to live with myself if I wasn't told that Paris Hilton wasn't part of the 90's scene. Although, it was quite funny that they dissed on her a lot. High point of the show, if I do say so myself. And, I did. Beyond the fact that the show was useless...Paris Hilton is only famous for being...famous.
I'm glad VH1 reminded me of how much the 90's and all of their shows sucked. Well, I can't say the nineties were THAT bad. I was there, it was decent, but not good enough for an hour long special. That basically goes for any other decade as well. Unless, by some stroke of luck, one decade had a prominent amount of ninjas that just "uppercut a kid in the face for opening a window" or something of equal or greater awesomeness...I don't want to hear about it.

You rolled a four, beeotch
Yea, thats all for now...Later.

I hate things
Well, I figured out that I hate a lot of crap in the past few days. Here's the list:

1. Bots
2. The theme song from the O.C. (Californiaaaaaaa!)
3. Jak and Daxter (the game, if you didn't know)
4. More specifically, the 'special ending' for Jak and Daxter
5. People who say 'Not this chat, rofl!' in a chat room

Alright, seems I have the list, but I'm guessing some of you are saying "But, Josh, why do u hate all that stuff, rofl?!?". Well, that's what this blog and a big ol' chunk of my time is for, isn't it?

To start it off, I'll further indulge my hate for bots and the people who make them by explaining myself. But, first, I'd like to get one thing straight. The 'bots' that I am talking about are the ones in chat rooms and instant messages talking about their webcam, awesome bisexual sister, or some other lie. Especially when they repeat their tactic multiple times, but you can't report them because as soon as they send the message, they've already signed off. And to add to the anger I have, most of the time they screw up my conversations online by popping up over the people I was talking to. Happily, the IM ones can eb blocked pretty easily because just about all of the people I talk to on AOL in instant message format, are on my buddy list. That's definately the greatest use for the 'allow only people on my buddy list' function in AOL's built in Instant Messenger.

Progressing along smoothly, we come to the next topic. The theme song from the O.C. The song is by Phantom Planet, which I've been told is a good band, but aparently, the requirements for this song were to repeat the same phrase over and over, but insert a few random phrases in between to make it not seem like a friggin heap of crap. If that song comes up on my playlist again (I still haven't deleted it because my playlist is about 350 songs) I'm going to make three copies send one to people in a chain letter. "Delete this song, or you will be forever tortured by the crap that it is. Send this to 100 people before midnight or I will come to your house and vandalize your rose bushes" or something to that effect. Then, I would delete that copy, making my anger subside slightly, then move on to the next copy, which I would burn onto a cd and once done, I would microwave it. The third copy, I would just delete, but as for the original, oh, I can't even say what I'd do with it. That would violate way too many laws.

For the third and fourth things I hate, I will only do one explanation. They are, in fact, similar, don't you think? Well, the reason for my hatred toward Jak and Daxter itself is that it had a crappy plot, it only took me a total of 4 hours to fully beat it, and the scoutflys were the stupidest idea ever. I mean, if the people sent me out on missions to get 'power cells'....and the scout flies belonged to the person who needed the 'power cells'....and I got a 'power cell' for returning the scout flies....WHY DIDN'T THEY JUST USE THE EXTRA POWER CELLS THEY HAD? I mean, logically, if you had an object that you needed to use to do what you wanted to do...and it required using that object....and you were going to use it eventually ANYWAY...wouldn't you use it? No sense.

As for the secret ending (I realize that it turned into two explanations), I had to collect 100 of the 101 'power cells'. Just the fact that there were 101 should be enough to show that this game was stupid. I mean, for a secret ending...you should have to get ALL of the stuff. But, anyway, after getting all 100, I saw the secret ending....Oh, how I hate that game...For starters, the secret ending consisted of the characters looking at a door as it opened and saying, "I wonder what that is?" when it was really bright...which lasted...A TOTAL OF SIX SECONDS...Then, they showed the credits, that last a good 20 minutes. Literally.

I'm not even going to get into how much I hate the stupid people who say "HEy all!!", then a little bit later they come out and say the most retarded thing...ever..."Not this chat, rofl!!!". See, it wouldn't be as bad if only one person did it once in a while, with a reason to do it...but, we don't live in that world, no, we live in the world where people find that funny. I don't.

That was it, and boy, am I glad to get that off of my chest.

Jeeeaaaoooorb
Hmm, applied for some jobs. Cool, in fact, quite cool. Hope I get hired at one, but I only applied at two places. Also, it seems that I am a Maddox fan.
So, without further ado, I'll link his site to ALL the people who read this. Like you care.
The Best Page In The Universe
Well, beyond that, I have nothing to say to the massive amounts of people who read this. So...
I'll say something to the small amount of people who read this. I am awesome, so is Maddox, all else pales in comparison.

Quality Carpets At Kaplans Carpet Warehouse
Well, beyond the last entry, I really don't have too much to say...

So...

Until next time....

Always watch out for the guy in your backseat...next time, he may pull out the OFFICIAL SHOTGUN RULEBOOK and prove that you have to revoke your seat in the car to the true caller of shotgun. That is one in depth rulebook. Make sure to mind the ammendments as they are necessary.