Time is for cooking and old people.....and cooking old peopleWhen did people begin to use time as a measurement of more than how long something happens and age?
(note the awesome thesis statement)
It occurred to me earlier today that everyone seems to think that if you have more time in which to do something, you will be better skilled at it. Now, see, this makes no sense. Not just to me, but I'm pretty sure most of the people I know will agree when I say that time is almost the smallest part in the metaphorical elixir of skilledness (pro.: skill-ed-ness, enunciate my new words correctly, people). Where most of your skill comes from is practice and having more attention span (and possibly depth perception) than a fourth grader on a mixture of crack and ridilin, all washed down with three gallons of Kool-Aid (the kind with extra sugar you mix in yourself). Also, you can't be an old person. Old people mock my theory with those annoying phrases "I'm not old, I just have a lot of experience". Yes, a lot of experience...being old and cenile. Old people are somewhat annoying, but I have to say, some are pretty cool. One example: old people who don't care about being "old and nice and not swearing" around kids. The only good kind of old person is gonna talk about what their friends and them did as kids without dulling down their language.
Well, back to my argument. Now, I didn't say that time didn't have ANYTHING to do with skill. Just that it is a small part of it. And the only reason it is even part of it, is that without time, there would be no frame within which to put the practice. The depth perception and attention, however, cannot really be practiced. For those of you who don't know why these are not skills you can practice, here's your answer. First of all, for the depth perception, you would have to practice judging distance. And we all know that it's funny to mess with people. One example being to put a small, well printed, replica of what they are supposed to judge the distance of. Then, after they guess a large distance, walk three feet and pick it up, then give them a nice hearty laugh. As for attention span...they would probably forget what they were trying to practice and go eat some food. That's what I would do. It would be fun.
Okay, now, on to the real reason I wrote this. Earlier today, I realized that I have to hold my instructional permit for a full 6 months, no matter how much experience I have behind the wheel. No matter how much of a better driver I am than the majority of licensed Iowans. No matter how great I am in general, I still have to hold it 6 months. So, on Tuesday of next week, I will have every requirement except for time. I will have the skill, possibly even better skill than the driving instructors, but no license. And even when November 18th comes around, I will only have my intermediate license. That, I have to hold an entire year. A year of no driving past 12:30 pm and before 5:30 am. It actually isn't that bad, and I should stop whining. But, I did put forth a pretty good argument about it, now didn't I?
Here it is. Your thought. Well....Mine...
"If someone ever pays you back more than five dollars, and gives you change...I advise one thing. Throw a couple dollars at them and pick up as much as you can. It's fun, and usually only costs a dollar or two. That'll teach them to pay you in change, now, won't it?"