What You Don't Want To Hear During Surgery...


* "Better save that. We'll need it for the autopsy."

* "Someone call the janitor - we're going to need a mop."

* "Accept this sacrifice, O Great Lord of Darkness!"

* "Bo! Bo! Come back with that! Bad dog!"

* "Wait a minute, if this is his spleen, then what's that?"

* "Hand me that...uh...that uh...thingie."

* "Oh no, I just lost my Rolex!"

* "Oops! Hey, has anyone ever survived 500 mL of this stuff before?"

* "Darn, there go the lights again."

* "Ya know, there's big money in kidneys. Heck, the guy's got two of them!"

* "Everybody stand back! I lost my contact lens!"

* "Could you stop that thing from beating? It's throwing my concentration off."

* "What's this doing in here?"

* "I hate it when they're missing stuff in here..."

* "That's cool! Now can you make his leg twitch?"

* "I wish I hadn't forgotten my glasses."

* "Well folks, this will be an experiment for us all."

* "Sterile, schmerile. The floor's clean, right?"

* "What do you mean he wasn't in for a sex change!"

* "Anyone see where I left that scalpel?"

* "And now we remove the subject's brain and place it in the body of an ape."

* "OK, now take a picture from this angle. This is truly a freak of nature."

* "This patient has already had some kids, am I correct?"

* "Nurse, did this patient sign the organ donation card?"

* "Don't worry. I think it's sharp enough."

* "What do you mean, you want a divorce!?"

* "She's gonna blow! Everybody take cover!"

* "Fire! Fire! Everyone get out now!"

* "Damn! Page 47 of the manual is missing!"