Quotes

Learning French is trivial: the word for horse is cheval, and everything else
follows in the same way.
-- Alan J. Perlis

Breast Feeding should not be attempted by fathers with hairy chests, since
they can make the baby sneeze and give it wind.
-- Mike Harding, "The Armchair Anarchist's Almanac"


"Kirk to Enterprise -- beam down yeoman Rand and a six-pack."

"A child of five could understand this! Fetch me a child of five."

The reason computer chips are so small is computers don't eat much.

There are times when truth is stranger than fiction and lunch time is one of
them.

"His super power is to turn into a scotch terrier."

Die, v.:
To stop sinning suddenly.
-- Elbert Hubbard

"I have a very firm grasp on reality! I can reach out and strangle it any
time!"

Documentation is like sex: when it is good, it is very, very good; and when
it is bad, it is better than nothing.
-- Dick Brandon

Of course there's no reason for it, it's just our policy.

Ask your boss to reconsider -- it's so difficult to take "Go to hell" for an
answer.

Expert, n.:
Someone who comes from out of town and shows slides.

Although we modern persons tend to take our electric lights, radios, mixers,
etc., for granted, hundreds of years ago people did not have any of these
things, which is just as well because there was no place to plug them in.
Then along came the first Electrical Pioneer, Benjamin Franklin, who flew a
kite in a lighting storm and received a serious electrical shock. This proved
that lighting was powered by the same force as carpets, but it also damaged
Franklin's brain so severely that he started speaking only in
incomprehensible maxims, such as "A penny saved is a penny earned."
Eventually he had to be given a job running the post office.
-- Dave Barry, "What is Electricity?"