The Musical Octopus

  The man walks into a bar with his octopus. He sits the octopus down on a
stool and tells everyone in the bar that this is a very talented octopus and
"He can play any musical instrument in the world." Everyone in the bar laughs
at the man and generally reckon he's an idiot. At that the guy announces that
he will wager $500 to anyone that the octupus can play any instrument that
they care to provide.

  Immediately a challenger walks up with a guitar and sets it beside the
octopus who picks it up and starts playing better than Jimi Hendrix. In
amazement the guitar man pays up his $500. Another man walks up with a
trumpet. This time the octopus plays the trumpet better than Miles Davis.
This guy also pays up his $500.

 At this point a Scotsman walks up with some bagpipes. He sits them down and
the octopus fumbles with the instrument for a minute and then sits down with
a confused look. "Ha!" the Scot says. "Can ye nae plae it?" The octopus looks
up at him and says, "Play it? I'm going to fuck it as soon as I figure out
how to get its pyjamas off!"