Someplace in the Stars
By: Ashiko-chan
Flying high
A blowing wind
A mere notion
I cannot follow
Just like you
When I'm lead
Through these mazes
You lay inside your mind
* * * * * * * * * * * *
So, it finally happened. I knew it would sooner or later. But…why in front of Duo? Why have I suddenly become so weak? God knows Duo's the first person I would consider a friend, that is, if I had friends. But friends a merely obstacles in a game called war. Obstacles I can't afford to have. I've never needed them before, so why do I need them now.
I look over my shoulder, Duo's busy making me dinner. He doesn't look over to me, I can tell he's absorbed in his own emotions. We all are, that's how wars start. They start when people become so self absorbed that they forget that others have different rules to play by. It's the understanding of other's rules that create peace, I believe.
How long has it been since I've moved in with Duo? It's become so long that I can't remember.
He's so different from me, a soft heart. But I know he's just like me, what is on the outside is totally different from the inside. He's hurting just as bad as I am, but just goes about showing his emotions in a totally different way. Laughing everything off is his way of surviving perhaps. Being indifferent to the world is mine.
* * * * * * * * * * * *
A hunter sneaks forward
Into a dark cloud
A veil of mystery
A scythe in hand
He targets his prey
Waiting in the darkness
Searching for that perfect moment
* * * * * * * * * * * *
A plate is set in front of me, a steaming omelet. My eyes stay as far away from Duo's as possible. I've failed the image I lead on. I'm not supposed have emotions. We eat in silence, and the tension between the two of us is strong enough to hold up a Gundam.
I wonder if Duo thinks I'm weak now. Or perhaps he pities me. Pity is one thing I don't need and definitely can't stand. Besides idiotic world leads who chase after me and scream "Hee~ro! Hee~ro! Come and kill me HEE~RO!". I should have killed her when I had the chance.
" Ne, Heero! I'm gonna go to bed, I'll see you in the morning. Night!" Duo states. I duck my head away. Retreating footsteps remain the only sound in the house. Silently, I continue to pick at my omelet, which is now fairly cold.
* * * * * * * * * * * *
A rogue bell
Chimes in the empty space
Echoing over and again
Hoping and praying
Someone will hear
It's desperate call
* * * * * * * * * * * *
Reaching into the washer, I place my plate inside. Standing up, I walk into my bathroom and turn on the faucet. Splashing soap and cold water on my face, I feel a rush flowing through my body. After rubbing a coarse towel over my face, I walk into my bedroom.
I flop down into the deep blue sheets. The window in my room lets in the tiny waves of moonlight from the white sliver. My body begins to relax and relent into the darkness.
* * * * * * * * * * * *
A hand reaches down
Land on my forehead
Time and space dance
Swirling in distortion
My mind becomes numb
I can't even tell that I'm falling
Into a place I've tried so hard to avoid
* * * * * * * * * * * *
An OZ base rises in the distance. Basic instinct inside of me tells me to destroy it. I'm stunned, I don't remember even setting the explosives. But, I shake the thought off my mind, there's too much at stake to even bother with such thoughts.
All the surroundings around me tell me I'm on Earth, but I know it is all a farce. This is a colony, L-1 I presume. I pull out the trigger, preparing to level the base into a bloody oblivion.
* * * * * * * * * * * *
I stand in a void
Breath is so hard to take in
I look around for something
Anything in this space
I see a faint image in the distance
Running toward it
Space never ceases
A sad face looks over his shoulder
Tired eyes look upward
Pain and torment cannot be hidden
Eyes that are my own
* * * * * * * * * * * *
I pull the trigger, an intense brightness races toward the base. Explosions resound as the base is annihilated. A smile spreads across my face. Mission accomplished. I turn my back around, I'm going home.
Suddenly I hear a high pitched scream, it halts me in my tracks. I whip around, looking for the origin of the terrified sound. I see a little girl and her dog. My mission has failed, I got part of the colony involved.
Grass passes under my feet as I bolt over to the girl. Blood is staining the surrounding grass, wounds all over her body. Breathlessly, I bend down toward her dying body. She opens her eyes and stares at me in pain. Stepping away, I gasp in disbelief.
" Why…?What….did I do?" She asks me. Frightened beyond comprehension, I fall away from the boy. I must being seeing things.
* * * * * * * * * * * *
I reach for the image
Smoke rises upward
From the nonexistent floor
Choking, I can no longer see the image
Frantically running forward
I hit glass
A mirror stares back at me
But it isn't who I am
It's showing me someone
Someone who I thought never existed
* * * * * * * * * * * *
It's that little girl. I've killed her again. I pick her dog up, gently stroking its blood-soaked fur.
"NOOO!!!"
" Retrain Heero again from the beginning. We don't need things like kindness in a war," I hear. I look back down at the ground, the little girl is no longer there. Instead, there is a little boy. One with chocolate brown hair and soft blue eyes. His face looks like mine, but he is merely a child…
What have I done?
* * * * * * * * * * * *
Suddenly, a shadow charges forward
Metal splices the innocent image in half
Blood splatters across the space
Screams cease
Silence
The hunter turns around
A hood falling off his head
He bends over
Dipping his hand in the blood
And smears it over his face
He turns around
He is who I am now
* * * * * * * * * * * *
I jump out of bed, sweat spilling off my face. Grasping the sheets around me frantically, my breath is short and hurried.
A dream…?No, it was much more than a dream. That actually happened…
A part of me feels so dead. I've silenced that part of me myself. I lay back in bed, suddenly exhausted. Footsteps approach my door, light seeps into my room. Duo is standing there. He smiles, as though he now knows I am safe. Hesitantly, I open my mouth to speak, but the door is already closing.
Duo, thank you…
I hope one day I can help you just as you've helped me…
With that, I closed my eyes and waited for the morning.
* * * * * * * * * * * *
Images twist in the space
I start to fall again
A vision passes by
I wish for this to end
Maybe one day
I'll come to terms with myself
Someplace in the stars
Where I can be with you
You guessed it, an Author's note! Well, this is the end to my rather poorly written trilogy. If you got totally lost in this fic, or any others, e-mail me at Boogie099@aol.com. Or you can send me suggestions for another fic or some totally off-line message about anime. Thanks for reading, ja ne!
