WARPSPAWN CONVENTION

ESTIMATED DATE… July 2020
LOCATION… Northern Hemisphere.
FACILITIES… 
Large Hotel, enough room for 5000 rabid Warpspawn fans.
One Main Room… Lots of Gaming Tables.
Several Smaller Rooms… Workshops, Round Robins, and Support Groups.
CONCESSIONS… BYO Pizza, Beer, Ice Sculptures.
DAYS… 7 day extravaganza
ENTRY FEE… I haven’t charged anybody anything yet, why start now.
DOOR PRIZES… Free Warpspawn bucks for everyone who shows up in costume.
I need a good laugh.
RETAILER BOOTHS… 
We are only allowing…
Generic gaming materials (Dice, Hex maps, pawns, and blank chits)
Guys who make Swords and chainmail bikinis
Artists and Miniatures makers
Small unprofitable game designers
Reserve a table now while there’s still time!
CELEBRITY GUESTS… 
I think I can get Wolf man Jack if he’s still alive by then. (can you dig it?)
And whoever I can trick into coming.
SCANTILY CLAD YOUNG GIRLS… Damn right.
COMPUTER ACCESS… So you can download your Favorite Warpspawn games of course.
LOOKING FOR GAMEMASTERS…
Goal is to have a demonstration game of every single Warpgame.
Gamemasters will have to provide a complete game with all the cards, maps, chits, etc. 
Ambitious GM’s are encouraged to organize tournaments.
DAILY LOTTERY… Win pirated software.

DAY 1 ACTIVITIES
OPENING CERIMONIES
Short & Sweet.
Rock Music: We are the Champions my Friends and we'll go on fighting to the very end.
Cause we are the Champions,  We are the Champions, We are the Champions my Friends...
(I had a moment there... Com'on sing it with me!)
FOCUS: HISTORICAL GAMES
SPECIAL LECTURE SERIES BY THE AUTHOR…
Sacrificing historical accuracy for playability (How to)
BANQUET NIGHT…
First Evening Ho down.
Long, boring Thank you speeches.
Guest Speakers. (Long tirades in broken English and Estonian)
Polish  Sausage, Chicken Kiev, and Chilled Monkey Brains.
Mosh Pits, Book burnings, Filking, Rolfing, and Puking.
SURPRISE GAME
I will post a new game just for the convention

DAY 2 ACTIVITIES
FOCUS: HISTORICAL GAMES
SPECIAL LECTURE SERIES BY THE AUTHOR…
How to design games for free and other idiocy.
Followed by…
QUESTION & ANSWER SESSION
Ask the author anything.
Talk to the hand.

DAY 3 ACTIVITIES
FOCUS: SCIENCE FICTION GAMES
WORKSHOP… How to design a game in four hours.
SPECIAL LECTURE SERIES BY THE AUTHOR…
Select Topics in Biochemistry (Just in case no one believes I’m a biology teacher)

DAY 4 ACTIVITIES
FOCUS: SCIENCE FICTION GAMES
SPECIAL LECTURE SERIES BY THE AUTHOR…
How to pick up girls (Not by hanging around here!)
ELECTIONS… 
For positions in the National Warpspawn Fanclub.
Positions include…
Minister of Propaganda
High Priestess of Bodacious Ta tas
Mr. El Presidente Sir
Tribal Elder
Muckity Muck
Major Domo & Leader of the Band
Secretary of the Inferior
Treasurer of Naughting Ham
Ties will be settled through Trial by Combat.

DAY 5 ACTIVITIES
FOCUS: FANTASY GAMES
SPECIAL LECTURE SERIES BY THE AUTHOR…
Personal Hygiene for gamers. (Give me your unwashed, your obese, your dehydrated) 
COCK FIGHTING… Bring your own Cock.
LIVE ACTION ROLEPLAYING…
We throw dice at each others heads.

DAY 6 ACTIVITIES
FOCUS: FANTASY GAMES
LIVE CHESS MATCH
Volunteers needed to wear spandex and cardboard armor.
Warpspawn chess variants only
SPECIAL LECTURE SERIES BY THE AUTHOR…
Designing your own website basics and remedial HTML programming.

DAY 7 ACTIVITIES
FOCUS: “OTHER” GAMES
HORSESHOES & SPITING FOR DISTANCE…
WORKSHOP… Home schooling with Warpspawn Games 
WARPSPAWN CHILI COOKOFF FAREWELL DINNER
BLUE RIBBON AWARDS CEREMONY
Awards given for the…
Best Gamemaster
Loudest Playtesting Session
Longest Playtesting Session
Best Comment in the Suggestion Box
Best Homemade Quality components for a game
Best Painted Miniatures
Best Costume
Best Move in any Game
Best Looking Girl at Show
Biggest Hamster
Funniest thing in Show