Murphy's Laws of Combat Operations
If it's stupid but it works, it isn't stupid.
Try to look unimportant; the enemy may be low on ammo and not
want to waste a bullet on you.
If you are forward of your position, your artillery will fall short.
Never share a foxhole with anyone braver than yourself.
Never forget that your weapon was made by the lowest bidder.
If your attack is going really well, it's an ambush.
The enemy diversion you're ignoring is their main attack.
The enemy invariably attacks on two occasions:
- when they're ready.
- when you're not.
There is no such thing as a perfect plan.
Five second fuzes always burn three seconds.
A retreating enemy is probably just falling back and regrouping.
The important things are always simple; the simple are always
hard.
The easy way is always mined.
Teamwork is essential; it gives the enemy other people to shoot at.
If you are short of everything but the enemy, you are in the
combat zone.
No combat ready unit has ever passed inspection.
No inspection ready unit has ever passed combat.
If the enemy is within range, so are you.
The only thing more accurate than incoming enemy fire is incoming
friendly fire.
Things which must be shipped together as a set, aren't.
Things that must work together, can't be carried to the field that way.
Radios will fail as soon as you need fire support.
Radar tends to fail at night and in bad weather (and especially
during both.)
Anything you do can get you killed, including nothing.
Make it too tough for the enemy to get in, and you won't be able
to get out.
Tracers work both ways.
When both sides are convinced they're about to lose, they're both right.
Military Intelligence is a contradiction.
Weather ain't neutral.
The Cavalry never comes to the rescue.
Killing for peace is like screwing for virginity.
The one item you need is always in short supply.
Interchangeable parts aren't.
It's not the one with your name on it; it's the one addressed "to
whom it may concern" you've got to think about.
The side with the simplest uniforms wins.
Combat will occur on the ground between two adjoining maps.
If the Platoon Sergeant can see you, so can the enemy.
Never stand when you can sit, never sit when you can lie down,
never stay awake when you can sleep.
The most dangerous thing in the world is a Second Lieutenant with
a map and a compass.
Exceptions prove the rule, and destroy the battle plan.
The worse the weather, the more you are required to be out in it.
The more a weapon costs, the farther you will have to send it
away to be repaired.
Field experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
No matter which way you have to march, its always uphill.
Airstrikes always overshoot the target, artillery always falls short.
When reviewing the radio frequencies that you just wrote down,
the most important ones are always illegible.
Those who hesitate under fire usually do not end up KIA or WIA.
The newest and least experienced soldier will usually win the
Medal of Honor.
Body count Math > 1 guerrilla plus 1 probable plus 2 pigs equals
37 enemies killed in action.
The bursting radius of a hand grenade is always one foot greater
than your jumping range.
All-weather close air support doesn't work in bad weather.
The combat worth of a unit is inversely proportional to the
smartness of its outfit and appearance.
The crucial round is a dud.
Every command which can be misunderstood, will be.
There is no such place as a convenient foxhole.
Don't ever be the first, don't ever be the last and don't ever
volunteer to do anything.
If your positions are firmly set and you are prepared to take the
enemy assault on, he will bypass you.
If your ambush is properly set, the enemy won't walk into it.
If your flank march is going well, the enemy expects you to
outflank him.
Density of fire increases proportionally to the curiousness of
the target.
Odd objects attract fire - never lurk behind one.
The more stupid the leader is, the more important missions he is
ordered to carry out.
The self-importance of a superior is inversely proportional to
his position in the hierarchy (as is his deviousness and
mischievousness).
There is always a way, and it usually doesn't work.
Whenever you drop your equipment in a fire-fight, your ammo and
grenades always fall the farthest away, and your canteen always
lands at your feet.
As soon as you are served hot chow in the field, it rains.
Never tell the Platoon Sergeant you have nothing to do.
The seriousness of a wound (in a fire-fight) is inversely
proportional to the distance to any form of cover.
Walking point = sniper bait.
If only one solution can be found for a field problem, then it is
usually a stupid solution.