Bars to my cell -
The day the walls fell.
A road that all good intentions paved,
A road to hell and to my grave.
Tigher bound up inside,
Close me in, my soul to hide.
Smiles turned to jeers,
Happiness turned into my fears.
Daylight's hope and happiness
Fades to
Nightfall and my bloody witness.
All Neptune's oceans red with sin,
Nothing washes away, alone again.
Sunlight makes forgetting easy,
My nightfall's not for the sick or queasy.
Insomnia, gunshots rain down on me
(1,2,3. . .). From the ground I'm forced to see.
Tires squeal as their escape is made,
Cries of victory, (6,7,8. . .).
Tears and sorrow mask my fears
For all of those forgotten years.
The bullets shower upon the ground,
All around me, lost is found.
Gunpowder's smoke fills the air
As the memories seize me, fair and square.
Here it is not so easy to forget
Lying here with my pillow wet.
Friends deserted me,
I'm not wanted, this I clearly see.
Telephone that once rang loud and clear,
Now dumb to my waiting ear.
A multitude of voices silenced now,
I need them, but they are lost somehow.
No more hope fills my heart,
Terror and depression, where to start?
Exhaustion overrides memories
Forced upon me as suicidal bedtime stories.
The gun silenced for awhile,
Each night another trial,
"To sleep, perchance to dream":
My nightmares are more than they seem.
They foreshadow things to come,
Where, then, must they come from?
Midnight's ramblings of a lunatic
Or clear logic, take your pick
Leave me now to pain and sorrow,
But always remember, you may not see me tomorrow.
Death awaits just outside my door
For me to weaken, fall to the floor
The strong may live, the weak will die,
Either way evil gets his piece of God's pie.
Temptation, now he wants me,
My dark black past he forces me to see.
He wants me to drop my guard, but
Weakening me is far too hard.
Seventeen years I've survived,
Fought just to stay alive.
So, each night I spar Satan for my soul,
And, each morning I awaken whole.
Tomorrow or tomorrow or tomorrow will I wake to find,
That part of me's been left behind?