Gifts given taken for granted,
Gifts received taken away.
Now I am forever haunted,
By the things I do and words I say.
Trapped in my own private hell,
Forever stalked by the mistakes I've made.
Knowledge I know but can never tell,
Memories a constantly mocking parade.
Alter ego takes over again,
Pushing me away.
Day ends as night settles in,
Cold black soul hidden away.
Alone with sadomasochistic self,
Two sided conversation held alone.
Violent argument waged on myself,
Damage already been done.
Cover my ears,
But the sound's in my head.
Insanity, wild-eyed, give you my tears,
As I deny what's already been said.
Not gone yet, insanity,
Voices in my head.
Hard to hear over the profanity,
Wish I was already dead.
Hell's eternal fire,
Better than icy coldness of life.
Burning desire,
For someone to end my strife.
Atheistic thoughts hard to quench,
The voice's battle rages on.
Heart, soul, and mind have been wrenched,
Hope long ago moved on.
Devastating exhaustion,
Sleep. Blissful escape.
No more words of destruction,
Here in nightmare's black landscape.
Awake to the light of day,
Another painful night over.
Wonder if I'm really back to stay,
Knowing the ordeal is far from over.
Hide my nightly pain from view,
Smiling to hide my fears.
Daylight, I'll start life anew.
Night will only renew my endless tears.
