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Serious
Desiderata
Go placidly amid the noise and haste and remember what peace there may be in silence.
As far as possible, without surrender, be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even the dull and ignorant; they too have their story.
Avoid loud and aggressive persons, they are vexatious to the spirit.
If you compare yourself with others, you may become bitter and vain, for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.
Enjoy your achievements as well a your plans.
Keep interested in your own career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.
Exercise caution in your business affairs; for the world is full of trickery.
But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals; and everywhere life is full of heroism.
Be yourself.
Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune.
But do not distress yourself with imaginings.
Many fears are born of fatigue and lonliness.
Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself.
You are a child of the univese, no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding a it should.
Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be, and whatever your labors and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul.
With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world.
Be careful.
Strive to be happy.
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Love & Inspiration
"The true nature of a heart is seen in
-Anonymous
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"We cannot do great things
-Mother Teresa
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its response to the unattractive. 'Tell
me whom you love,' Houssaye wrote,
'And I will tell you who you are."
on this earth. We can only do small things
with great love."
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Comical
A Smoker's Prayer
~Hail Marlboro full of nicotine, my lungs are with Thee,~
~ Blessed art Thou amongst cigarettes, and Blessed is the smoke that we inhale,~
~ Holy Marlboro blacken my lungs and have no mercy at the hour of my death.~
~ Amen.~
By: DeathzAngel
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Twas The Night Before SEXMAS
Twas the night before Christmas, and Geez it was neat.
The kids were both gone, and my wife was in heat.
The doors were all bolted, and the phone was off the hook.
It was time for some nooky, by hook or by crook.
Momma in her teddy, and I am in the nude, had just hit the bedroom and reached for the lube.
When out on the lawn there arose such a cry, that I lost my boner and Momma went dry.
Up to the window I sprang like an elf, Tore back the shade while she played with herself.
The moon on the crest of the snowman we'd built, showed a broom up his ass, clean up to the hilt.
When what to my wondering eyes should appear, but a rusty old sleigh and eight mangy reindeer.
With a fat little driver, half out of his sled, a sock in his ear, and a bra on his head.
Sure as I'm speaking, he was as high as a kite, and yelled to his team, but it didn't sound right.
Whoa Shithead, whoa Asshole, whoa Stupid, whoa Putz, either slow this rig down or I'll cut off your nuts.
Look out for the lamp post, and don't hit a tree, quit shaking the sleigh, 'cause I gotta go pee.
They cleared the lamp post, the tree got a rub, just as Santa leaned out and threw up on my shrub.
And then from the roof we heard suh a clatter, as each little reindeer now emptied his bladder.
I wa doning my jacket to cover my ass, when down the chimny Santa came with a crash.
His suit was all smelly with perfume galore, he looked like a bum and smelled like a whore.
"That was some brothel," he said with a smile, "The reindeer are pooped, and I'll just stay here awhile."
He walked to the kitchen, himself poured a drink, then whipped out his pecker and pissed in the sink.
I started to laugh, my wife smiled with glee. the old boy was hung nearly down to his knee.
Back in the den, Santa reached in his sack, but his toys were all gone, and some new things were packed.
The first thing he found was a pair of false tits, the next was a handgun with a penis that splits.
A box filled with condoms was Santa's next find, and a six pair of panties, the edible kind.
A bra without nipples, a penis extension, and several other things that I shouldn't even mention.
A cock ring, a G-string, and all types of oils, a dildo so long, it lay in a coil.
"This stuff ain't for kids, Mrs. Santa will shit, so I'll leave 'em here, and then I'll just split."
He filed every stocking and then took his leave, with one tiny butt plug tucked under his sleeve.
He sprang to his sleigh, but his feet were like lead, thus he fell on is ass and broke wind instead.
In time he was seated, took the reins of his hitch, saying, "Take me home Rudolph, this night's been a bitch!"
The sleigh was near gone when we head Santa shout, "The best thing about sex is that it never wears out!"
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A Little FYI The Truth about Reindeer
According to the Alaska Department of Fish and Game,
while both male and female reindeer grow antlers in
the summer each year, male reindeer drop their antlers
at the beginning of winter, usually late November to
mid December. Female reindeer retain their antlers
till after they give birth in the spring.
Therefore, according to every historical rendition
depicting Santa's reindeer, every single one of them,
from Rudolf to Blitzen.......had to be a girl. We
should've known. Only women would be able to drag a
fat man in a red velvet suit all around the world in
one night and not get lost.
So there!!!!!!
MERRY CHRISTMAS
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Cajuns VS Saddam Hussein
This is WAR!! The Cajuns heard that Saddam Hussein was going to help Osama bin Laden and they decided This is WAR!!
Saddam Hussein was sitting in his bunker when his telephone rang.
"Hallo! Mr. Hussein," a heavily accented voice said. "This is Boudreaux down at the Fred's lounge in Mamou, Looziannah. I'm callin' to told you we be officially declarin' war on you!"
"Well, Boudreaux", Saddam replied, "This is indeed important news! How big is your army?"
"Rat now," said Boudreaux, (hesitating) "there is me, my cousin Thibedeaux, my nex door neighbor Justain, and the whole bunch from the bar. That makes us eight!"
Saddam paused. "I must tell you, Boudreaux, that I have one million men in my army waiting to move on my command."
"Woo-eee!" said Boudreaux. "I gots to call you back later!"
Sure enough, the next day, Boudreaux called again. "Mr. Hussein, the war is still on! We got us some war equipment!"
"And what equipment would that be, Boudreaux?" Saddam asked.
"Well, we got us two combines, a dozer, and a farm tractor."
Saddam sighed. "I must tell you, Boudreaux, that I have 16,000 tanks and 14,000 armoured personnel carriers. Also, I' ve increased my army to 1-1/2 million since we last spoke."
"E-yiee!" said Boudreaux. "I gots to get back to you later."
Sure enough, Boudreaux rang again the next day. "Mr. Hussein, da war still be on! We got ourselves some airborne! We've took Marcell's utra-light glider an we put us a shotgun in the cockpit, and Hebert gots out of jail today and he is gonna join our army too!"
Saddam was silent for a minute and then cleared his throat. "I must tell you, Boudreaux, that I have 10,000 bombers and 20,000 fighter planes. My military complex is surrounded by laser-guided, surface-to-air missile sites. And since we last spoke, I've increased my army to TWO MILLION!"
"Ah-yie-yie!", screams Boudreaux, "I gots ta call you back later."
Sure enough, Boudreaux calls again the next day.
"Bon jour, Sad-damn! I so sorry I gots to toll you we is callin' off dis war."
"I'm sorry to hear that," said Saddam. "Why the sudden change of heart?"
"Well," said Boudreaux, "we all had a long talk at the bar and Sheriff Broussard he say no way he's gonna feed no two million prisoners."
Thank you for taking the time to read my page.
Please come back and check for updates, for they are constant!
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