Ever have one of those days, or nights, when bullets are whizzing by your head and you're thinking, "Drek, I'm starving. Where can I go get something to eat slotting quick and maybe get these goons off my hoop?" Or maybe, you're hiding out at your doss and your air filter went kaput, you just used the last supplies from your medkit, and you're all out of soykaf and your Maxiblast Sugar Bombs in Radiation Red....where do you go where no one'll scan you twice? And how about that all-important place to meet a prospective Johnson, and you want to impress him with your knowledge of little-known holes in the wall that serves great food, too? Look no further, chums, your savior is here with all the nitty gritty you'll ever need about the places we go to in desperation, the good and the bad. The 411 on all these places are divided up by what they are: 1)  Department Store Chains, 2) Convenience Stores, and 3) Restaurants and other Eateries. Within these divisions, I've rated each place with either a thumbs-up or a thumbs-down in three categories: 1) Prices, 2) Speed of Service, and 3) Quality.  I've done the work, boys and girls, so you chummers can keep running, null sweat. Enjoy.
 
 

Kong-Wal Mart:  Begun in 1962 by a slot named Sam Walton, Wal-Mart, as it was up until around the Crash of '29 before merging with Kong-Hai Inc., started out as a Ma-n-Pa kind of chain store with a wide variety of merchandise. They quickly branched out into grocery stores, warehouse clubs and discount outlets, all with the idea of getting nearly anything you need for very cheap. The idea is still true today, although the image has gotten away from the down-home and into the slick hustle-and-jive it's become.
Here you can get just about anything your little heart desires, from cheap plastisteel furniture for your doss, to electronics like Radio Shack and Allegiance Sigma decks and Sony's simsense rigs and music playback units, to knockoffs of Armanté and Zoë, to chips, stuffers, anti-pollution gear, and cheap souvenirs of whatever area you're unfortunate enough to be stuck in. Rumor has it that, if you know the right people to talk to in any given store location, they can hook you up with some illegal hardware of all kinds very quickly, for a slightly more elevated price than they might advertise in the store if they could sell the stuff openly.

Prices: thumbs up. We all get low on cred and anxious at times, especially when there's a Stage Red smog alert outside and you need a breather, fast.
Speed of Service: thumbs up. Yeah, they can drag their hoops at times, but most of the time they're good about getting your stuff through the checker and you out the door. Quicker service to the scummier-looking, too. The place may not be Mom and Pop anymore, but they get enough families in there that they hustle the 'unwanted' out the door soon's possible. Look, finally an upside to being street meat!
Quality: thumbs down. Why? Guess you've never bought their crap before....
 

    > She's right about the hardware. You've got to be desperate to go that route, though, because what they've got is usually either very
    cheap or very hot, fresh-stolen from whatever unlucky skag had it last. Anyway, you get anything from them, and you're a walking
    time-bomb, pretty much. Either your gear malfunctions at the wrong time or the guy and his friends come looking for the folks that
    boosted his stuff.
    > Hard Target (12:02:46/3-12-60)

    > I was wondering where my shock glove went off to!
    > EZMark (12:11:52/3-12-60)
 
 

Saver's Central: This is Kong-Wal's main competition in the arena of prices and variety merchandise, except Saver's Central looks for a little more quality and focuses their scope more on food, with clothing and furniture usually housed in a separate building altogether. These guys came out on top during the food riots in '99, able to propose mergers, leverage corporate buyouts and hostile takeovers so quickly that we all blinked and it was over. They were largely the ones responsible for keeping most of the riots down to a dull roar, doling out what food could be found, bought or extorted at low enough prices to still keep afloat and keep people from going ballistic. The Crash of 2029 hurt them like everyone else, but not nearly as much, oddly enough. They were able to keep most of the scheduled food deliveries going, and when the Matrix became the giant communications network that it is today, all it did was streamline things for them. They've since then branched out cautiously into other merchandise, looking for a bigger slice of the profit pie that Kong-Wal's been eating. Rumor's been rampant about them lately, boys and girls, mostly from the Azzie side of things, so keep your ears to the ground for plenty of biz. You might end up getting more from them than just your soy and cornbread.

Prices: thumbs up. They're a couple pennies more expensive than Kong-Wal, but it's still easy on your stick. You'll still have plenty left over for whatever swings your rope.
Speed of Service: thumbs down. Sorry folks....what works at the other guy's is just the opposite here. Saver's will give you the hairy eyeball and ask all kinds of stupid questions while they run your stuff through the checker. Apparently this is standard service. I even peeked at their SOP manual....it's in there.
Quality: thumbs up. I give this rating kinda reluctantly....the quality is better than Kong-Wal's, but it still isn't anything to yell about. Sometimes the quality is a little different from store to store, too, depending on which area it's located.
 

    > Stay away from the Aztlan imported stuff. My buddy Kaz says the Azzies and their blood mages used the blood from their
    sacrifices to water their crops and make them grow. President Dunkelzahn's will may be putting a bounty on blood mages, but
    that doesn't mean they've quit for good.
    > Magic Man (09:33:18/3-12-60)

    > You been inhalin' too much incense, Magic Man. Who's going to believe that bulldrek about watering crops with blood? Azzies
    are just bad news, omae, and that's that.
    > GreenGrows (09:34:25/3-12-60)

    > I'd believe it.
    > Matador (10:41:39/3-12-60)
 
 

Weapons World: Okay, kids, who has not heard of this really popular chain? Hands? Thought so.
Anyone dealing with the possibility of being geeked every day had better be intimately familiar with the most popular form of death-dealing, that being grade A bang-bang. There's a little more there than just that, too; you've got your armor, from your ballistics-protecting armor clothing all the way to near milspec secarmor (or at least so the rumors go). You can also pick up some neat gizmos for your favorite sidearm, from silencers to gas vents and recoil reducing pads. Of course, some of the things we all want aren't exactly on the up and up; when is it? That's why you can't just jander into your local Weapons World and ask to get your Roomsweeper bored out to hold APDS or some other bulldrek; you want to get anything like that, you go to your fixer. But other than that, you can't beat it with a sharp stick. Ever since Weapons World began business in 2001, not long after the Shiawase Decision, they've been hopping like crazy selling weapons and ammo to whoever has nuyen, a SIN, and a permit, and even the SIN and permit's an iffy matter if you know the right palm to grease.

Prices: thumbs down. Hey, whoever said that death don't come cheap was right.
Speed of Service: thumbs up. Now this is a real joy to watch, chummers: low grade gun techs that are frothing at the mouth to serve you if you've got the cred. Wait? What wait?
Quality: thumbs up. Overall it's good. They carry a lot of Ares built toys, and we all love our Ares. Right?
 

    > Nightfire? This would be your cue.
    > FastJack (14:03:59/3-12-60)
 
 

Stuffer Shack: You see them on every other corner; that's how popular and prolific they are. And with good reason, too. They seem to be mini department stores, carrying everything from your necessary detoxifiers, purifiers and filters for your anti-pollution needs, to Nuke-N-Serve and Zap-O-Nuke dinners, to your favorite munchies like Krak-L-Snaps (can't live without Turbo Teriyaki!) and Sloppy Soys, to the latest sims and other chips fresh from the media machines. Some locations even have terminals for you to download or browse the newsnets, datafaxes and screamsheets. The fact that they're open 24 hours a day, seven days a week doesn't hurt either; this is something that's been carried over from the days when the Stuffer Shack used to be places called "7 Eleven" and "Circle K" back in the twencen. The biggest location here in the Seattle Sprawl, a bi-level store on the corner of Madison Street and 9th Avenue, has the most complete inventory of the 'Shacks we've got. Hot little tip for ya; just about sixty percent of the goods offered are Aztechnology products. Hmmm…

Prices: thumbs down. But since when do we quibble about price when the other stores are closed and we've got to stuff and go?
Speed of Service: thumbs up. You get what you want, you take it to the counter, they scan, you slot and run. How could it get any faster except for boosting?
Quality: thumbs up. This is a mixed bag, though; on the one chip, you've got brands you know (even if you don't trust'em), so there ain't much difference from one Stuffer to the next, and on the other chip, we're talking about a Stuffer Shack...this ain't someplace like The Edge or Takuri's.
 

    > Yeah, tell us about it.
    > Sicko Stuffin (06:03:59/3-12-60)

    > Can't be too choosy if you're up at the crack of smog, Sicko. Maybe if you slow down on the Stuffer soykaf...?
    > Hard Target (12:04:31/3-12-60)

    > I can quit anytime. Really.
    > Sicko Stuffin (02:41:33/3-13-60)
 
 

Loco Foods: This Aztechnology-owned version of the good ole' Stuffer Shack's been seeing a lot of business lately, despite the negative newsfeeds that somehow find their way into the mainstream (funny how that happens, eh boys and girls?). Seems folks get tired of the standard Seattle Elven/Ork/Amerind/soy standbys and start looking for something new....and Loco Foods provides. Offering a pretty good selection of foods and products manufactured in Aztlan and by Aztechnology-owned companies, you get a taste of what it's like down south without having to brave the borders to visit. Some of the food's pretty spicy, with things like jalapeños and habaneras to put a little hot under your collar if you're not used to sweating while you eat.

Prices: thumbs up. I don't know how they're doing it, but they're undercutting Stuffer Shack's prices and turning a decent profit. Bears looking into, don't it?
Speed of Service: thumbs up. You get the same kind of convenience as Stuffer Shack, except sometimes for some oddball floor plans that get you temporarily lost among the high shelves.
Quality: thumbs up. Same reason as the Stuffer Shack, except, well, this is Azzieland, remember? Not too many chummers I know trust anything from Aztlan; if it looks too good to be true, chances are it is.
 

    > Oh come on, vaqueros, she's obviously got something against Aztechnology. Wassamatta, have a run go sour?
    > Pancho Vanilla (14:38:02/3-12-60)

    > Tag, you're it. Hope ya like the present I gave ya... you may find your time hogged by it. And one more word of advice...
    never, ever try to tag me again, you Azzie slime.
    > Sekhmet (HA:VE:AN/IC-ED-AY)
 
 

MiniMart: MiniMart's a holdover from all of the gas station convenience stores we barely remember from the twencen, a conglomerate of several middling successful companies that got merger fever. They've never been wildly successful, however, only enjoying a few battle-wins in the media wars with Stuffer Shack and, recently, Loco Foods. Still, they've hung on and managed to be almost as prolific; if you don't see a Stuffer Shack in the area, you're almost guaranteed to find a MiniMart. They've got about the same kind of selection as the competition, sometimes carrying a few more of the local brands than the big names to give 'the little  guy' a boost.

Prices: thumbs up. While they're not as cheap as Loco Foods, you still don't have to worry about seeing your cred go down the drain.
Speed of Service: thumbs up. At times it's almost creepy, the way you get greeted at the door with someone only too happy to help you pick out what you need. Makes you think they get awfully bored, and I wouldn't blame'em....they're the last ones to get the newest sims, and they've even got a stockpile of the old ones. Raise your hands if you remember "Howl of the Barghest"...
Quality: thumbs down. Sorry....sometimes the local little guys have got drek for merchandise.
 

    > The MiniMart off Denny Way got hit but good last Tuesday. Rumor has it some slot hid a ten thousand nuyen credstick in
    the store, and as soon as word hit the street, it didn't have a chance. One of my sources says it was a set-up, something
    designed by Loco Foods to help bump off some competition. If anyone out there can prove it, call me at LTG# 2206 (52-3309).
    > Bouncing Betty (11:21:06/3-12-60)
 
 

Buy-Low Foods: These guys used to be a grocery chain, which goes to show you how down on the skids this company's become. A long series of bad judgments made by the former CEO, Benton Bosworth, has made Buy-Low a tasty target for a buyout and refit by any number of companies, but the current CEO is stubbornly hanging on. They say he's looking for a way to revitalize the company and has several mavericks in the soy-production field trying to create a one-of-a-kind food to market exclusively for their chain. In the meantime, they have a lot of work ahead of them if they want to get rid of the bargain-basement one-stop rob-my-shop image.

Prices: thumbs down. In a vain effort to keep solvent, their prices have soared to the "you gotta be slottin' me" levels. The only reason why anyone actually pays those prices is sheer desperation, and the fact that over half of the Buy-Low stores never ask questions.
Speed of Service: thumbs down. The pay to work there is so low, they hire anyone they can find. Don't be surprised to see a chiphead slotting sims behind the counter.
Quality: thumbs down. The garden of Eden, this ain't.
 

    > Buy-Low's dead in the water. Shiawase is going to buy it out.
    > Screamin' Neon (14:22:19/3-12-60)

    > Not if Yamatetsu doesn't get it first.
    > Cherry Blossom (14:27:53/3-12-60)

    > Wouldja get a load o' these two jokers wrangling over this Buy-Low mess? Makes ya kinda wonder what Buy-Low's got that
    they're hot for.
    > Dumpster Diver (09:42:13/3-13-60)
 
 

McHugh's: The home of the golden goalposts, this bastion of the ‘average person’ is wildly popular. This is due in mega-gigantic part to several things: 1) safety is such an issue there that if you’re not safe at a McHugh’s, you’re not safe anywhere, 2) you always know what’s at a McHugh’s… the menu never changes, despite the ‘for a limited time only’ tack-ons to bring in customers, and 3) cheap, cheap, cheap. You can feed a family of four (even if your ‘family’ happens to be a crew of four Troll sammies) for less than what it’d cost you to pick up spare medkit supplies, if you catch my spin. Yeah, the food’s soy, and it ain’t gourmet tofu, but you’ll fill your hole with grub quick, easy, and without worrying about gaining a hole in your brainpan. Makes you wanna know who’s behind all this, huh? Well chums, we all know that McHugh’s used to be called another ‘Mc’ that shall remain nameless just because of the acrimonious arguments still flying around. Apparently the folks that originally owned the superchain are still smarting from the name change, among other things. The person, or entities, now in ownership has remained pretty anonymous except for the whipping boy they call their mascot, “Doughall McHugh”. The only thing I’ve been able to find out, so far, is that these jokers are way paranoid. Works out nova in the end for us proles, though, because as crazy as it sounds, I’ve had a few really wiz chummers of mine use those places as neutral ground for any transactions that they’re feeling iffy about. Tends to put a damper on anyone thinking of pulling out heat.

Prices: thumbs up. What’d I tell ya… scrounge a few cred and soon you’re chowing on ‘The Hugh’ with cheesefood. Doesn’t get much better’n that.
Speed of Service: thumbs up. Yessir, Nossir, ya want fries with that?
Quality: thumbs up. Okay, so it’s flash-frozen soy that’s just warmed up in microwave ovens, but at least you don’t have to worry about finding ‘tail of devil rat’ in your food.
 

    > Be careful of what you pack when you go in… don’t let the friendly looking faces of the McHugh’s guards fool you into
    thinking they’re vacant upstairs. They pay special attention to the proles that carry. And don’t think that your longcoat’s
    gonna hide your piece; they’ve got metal and chemical detectors built into the doorframes, and the info about who’s
    carrying finds its way to the earpieces the guards wear.
    > Hard Target (12:06:49/3-12-60)

    > You sure are a font of information, Hard Target. Makes us wonder where you get it.
    > Screamin’ Neon (14:24:07/3-12-60)

    > This from a guy that works for the company that developed the Neuro-Stun VIII gas that McHugh’s got installed in their
    ventilation shafts? Yeah, I’ve got information. Think on that.
    > Hard Target (14:37:18/3-12-60)
 
 

Nukit Burgers: Yet another popular mainstay of our slot-and-run culture, Nukit Burgers is McHugh’s best competition. They seemingly came out of the woodwork back in ’42 when The Golden Archers and Regal Burgers were just heating up their mutual slop-slinging campaign to fight for second place after everyone’s favorite Mc. Their advertising boasts a “one stop, beef-in-a-basket, feast-on-a-bun” kind of place, and that they certainly do deliver. Again, this isn’t gourmet fare, but they have managed to create a dependable menu that’s definitely tastier than McHugh’s, even if they don’t provide anywhere near the level of paranoid security. The menu variety is also pretty good, offering not just several kinds of burgers, but hot dogs, onion rings, chicken chunks and even their infamous “Nuke and Serve Burritos”. The original restaurant at Lenora Street and Fifth Avenue is now a historic landmark, having been there since late ’99.

Prices: thumbs up. They charge slightly more than McHugh’s, and the price is worth it if you’re looking for tastier fare than just soy and krill.
Speed of Service: thumbs up. While their process isn’t so streamlined as at McHugh’s, they’ve got their finger on the pulse of how to get your food cooked quickly and get it out to you, turbo speed.
Quality: thumbs up. Yeah, you’ll hear once in a while about something weird slipping into a fry vat, but that’s usually BTL-induced silliness. The food’s good enough, and that’s what’s made Nukit Burgers so popular.
 

    > I hear that McHugh’s is willing to pay to get a hold of Nukit Burger’s burrito recipe. Anyone know anything more about this?
    > Burgermeister (16:43:02/3-12-60)

    > I’d heard it was Nacho Mama that wanted the recipe, not McHugh’s. Seems they think that someone boosted one of their
    recipes and sold it to Nukit Burgers… imagine that. If that’s true, you know they’re hoping to sue if it turns out the recipe is
    theirs.
    > Legal Beagle (17:12:25/3-12-60)
 
 

You Should Not Eat So Much!: This isn’t so much a fast food joint as a family-style restaurant, although the food is served fast enough to compete in that respect. I’ve been to their downtown location, and the view from it is really wiz. Beyond their standard menu, which includes natural foods, they’ve also got a ‘Gourmet Soy’ menu, which means if you wanna impress the Johnson, this place is as good as any. The Pier 60 location, I hear, has some apple pie with cinnamon sauce to make your tongue curl and a cup of espresso to make your hair curl. None of it comes cheap, though, so we’re lucky that the food and view makes the price well worth it. The manager, Bishop Ulrey, used to be a low-level executive for Aztechnology; watch your back, ‘cause he’s still got chummers on the inside.

Prices: thumbs up. This may seem contradictory, but it is kinda pricey. However, it isn’t as bad as other places, and like I said, everything else makes up for the price. You could say that it all gets figured in.
Speed of Service: thumbs up. Speedy enough serving that you almost wonder if the help isn’t chipped.
Quality: thumbs up. Super-nova, everything. Just dress like you got a few noo to get the really good service, and you’re set.
 

    > Ulrey’s got a partnership going with Loco Foods.
    > Anonymous (11:03:22/3-12-60)

    > Okay, chummers, what’s the buzz? Is Aztechnology trying to corner the market, here?
    > Granger (11:16:13/3-12-60)

    > I’d say they were well on their way, except Shiawase and Yamatetsu are still putting up a pretty big fight. I’d look for things
    to heat up between them in the shadows right slotting quick.
    > Bouncing Betty (11:23:52/3-12-60)
 
 
 

Tam’s Under the Needle: Most folks almost trip over this place as they’re walking down Denny Way, because they’re usually too busy gawking at the Space Needle. The folks that do trip on it and decide to check it out, though, get rewarded with a real wizzer combination of Salish, Elven, Ork, and Canadian-American soy dishes to put a spin in your axis. Be prepared to wait, though, because you get enough regulars and people that have ‘discovered’ the place that you might find yourself standing around for at least fifteen minutes to half an hour when it’s nice outside. The food’s great, though, so you just gotta be patient and find something to do while you wait, like maybe check out the Space Needle with the rest of the plebes. Even Johnson, unless he’s a real cob, should be satisfied with the place, ‘cause you get all types there; that’s part of the charm. They say Barbara Tam, owner and manager, is a soft touch, so if you find yourself in a jam, she might let you work off your tab there or send you to one of the soup kitchens in the Barrens that she helps out.

Prices: thumbs up. They’re small but popular, which means they can afford to keep their prices pretty low and still turn a good profit. Works out for us, eh?
Speed of Service: thumbs down. Well, let’s be honest, here. They have gotten popular enough that the staff has started to take their time to get your order after they seat you from that half hour wait to begin with.
Quality: thumbs up. This makes up for everything, chummers. You’ll impress someone, chip-truth.
 

    > Yeah, like the Mafia. The Finnegan family’s moving in on Barbara Tam like gangbusters, ‘scuse the pun.
    > Ignatz (15:22:09/3-12-60)
 
 

Murphy’s Law: For holes in the wall that no one knows about, this is one of the seediest. Located on Cedar Street and Western Avenue, the scenery’s definitely nothing to shout about. But what keeps bringing folks back to a dive like this? It’s been a pretty well kept secret, except among folks like us: It’s the soy pizza and beer. No lie… they’ve got three varieties of the pizza and five varieties of beer on tap, and they’re the best I’ve ever had. Do your chummers a favor and take’em there next time you got an urge to splurge, because I tell you, you’ve never had this much good chow for next to nil. Just keep on the chilly side of frosty with your biz, or else you’ll find yourself looking down the barrel of a well-used Mossberg; Jackson, the bartender, likes to keep the bar friendly, and he’s got the full support of the manager, Wanda.

Prices: thumbs up. For stuff this good? You can’t beat the price. End program.
Speed of Service: thumbs up. Jackson’s got his off days, and the waitresses don’t run as fast sometimes, but don’t ever let them hear you say it.
Quality: thumbs down. Well, at least the food quality’s great. Just ignore anything else.
 

    > Hey, I keep a clean bar.
    > Jackson (16:43:09/3-12-60)

    > Oh yeah. Must be why the place looks like it’s been invaded by Spider shamans.
    > Granger (08:02:21/3-12-60)
 
 

Pink Door: This is actually what they call a “no frills” bar located at Pine Street and Western Avenue; it’s huge, and next to a bakery, sot he food’s mostly stuff like meat pies, gyoza, sausages, chocolate éclairs and cakes. The bar itself is half decent, having some of the local brews as well as imports like Asahi and Guinness stout. I don’t know of anyone that drinks water at a bar, but I understand that the water’s iffy, so be careful; bring your purifiers. So how’d they get the name? I got it on good authority that Aaron Jaynes, the owner of the place, has a favorite cathouse and a favorite cat, you scan? Guess you can’t blame the poor slot, though, since she’s a physical adept.

Prices: thumbs up. Not bad on the whole, considering you can get a cup of real coffee if you want to swing the nuyen.
Speed of Service: thumbs up. The place is pretty average, actually, so ya never mind the times that the joint’s jumpin’.
Quality: thumbs up. Except for that water, of course.
 

    > Guess she never got the Meatpie Surprise.
    > Burgermeister (16: 48:12/ 3-12-60)

    > I got a feeling I’m gonna regret askin’, but what’s the surprise?
    > Dumpster Diver (09:46:55/3-13-60)

    > (Insert body part here) of devil rat. You can tell because it crunches like it’s not supposed to. I guess to be fair, though,
    the gyoza and the baklava are really good, and the coffee’s worth spending the nuyen on.
    > Burgermeister (10:51:39/3-13-60)
 
 

Written by Elissa Carey, AKA Pistons
April 27, 1999
With thanks to: Jason Levine, ChromeZephyr, Cameron McCurry, Max Rible, and Byron Cutting for either information or inspiration.
Sources: Seattle Sourcebook/ New Seattle, Shadowrun Third Edition, Neo-Anarchist’s Guide to North America, and Corporate Download.