Jackie McGill
It should be called the story of Joey and me, because we were not one without the other. It began on May 17, 1980, after talking my doctor into inducing labor because I didn’t want to graduate pregnant. My due date was June 17, 1980.
After 8 ½ hours of induced labor and throwing up on my best friend Patty, I had an 8 pound 4 ½ ounce son who was 21 ½ inches long. Who was due on June 17, 1980. The doctor said well I am glad you talked me into inducing labor, he would have weighed 10-12 lbs. if you had gone to term.
On June 6th I graduated from high school, my almost 1 month old son was in attendance and loved by all. Everyone thought he looked like Uncle Fester from the Adams Family. He was chubby and bald and just plain old cute.
Joey’s dad and I got divorced when Joey was 3; I remarried when he was 5. Joey never liked his stepfather. When Joey was in the third grade he got mono, he missed so much school when it was time to go back I would have to take him into the principles office kicking and screaming don’t leave me mommy everyday for a few months. That was my first heart breaking experience with Joey.
I had his sister Katie when Joey was 10. When Joey was 12 his stepfather and I got divorced, I had to go back to work to support all of us and Joey became the daddy. He took care of his baby sister while I worked; he had to grow up much to fast.
His dad always complained that I was turning Joey into a momma’s boy so when Joey was 13 ½ he went to live with his dad. That was the second heart breaking experience with Joey. He wrote to me often came home for holiday’s etc.
When he came home for Christmas when he was 15 he begged me and his dad to let him stay. He told his dad, mom needs me, you have a wife now and mom is alone. His father after much debate finally gave in, he could no more tell Joey no than I could. Joey made many friends in my new city; he was a leader among his friends. Everyone in the neighborhood wanted to hang out with JOE as they called him.
Getting him to go to school was still really difficult and he dropped out when he turned 18 and got his GED right away. He came to work at the same family owned company as me.
He started dating a girl he met when he first moved back her. She was the love of his life or so he thought. He also had a best friend Beth; he met her the first day he was back. I knew the moment I saw them that she was his soul mate, I told him this. He said mom we are just friends and laughed it off.
Joey and this other girl started dating, they then had a son, Joey was 19 and his girlfriend was 17 when they had him. They had all kinds of problems, neither one trusted the other, they both cheated. His girlfriend was jealous of Beth.
In August, 2000 just before Andrew's first birthday party his girlfriend moved out of our house and back in with her mother taking Andrew with her, telling Joey that her new boyfriend was going to be Andrews daddy, that Joey would never see him again. Joey was crushed, he cried for hours, told me mom, I can’t live without Andrew, you don’t understand, I have watched you in pain and lonely all my life, I can not relive your life mom, I won’t do it.
On August 13, 2000, Joey took an overdose of sleeping pills mixed with beer.
His friend came home called an ambulance and then me. I went to the hospital, by this time I had finally met a good man, Joey was comfortable with him, to a certain extent. We went to the hospital and I cried over my son, holding his hand, he said he would never do anything like that again, ever. The whole time he was in the ER his girlfriend was calling, why they patched her through to his room I will never know.
Luckily I was the one who got the phone, she started yelling thinking it was Joey I told her to leave him alone and hung up. They put him in a room worried over liver damage, I went to see him, and he seemed to be getting better. He got out the day of Andrews’s first birthday party, which was at his girlfriend and her mothers.
She had us come there and she was going to invite the new boyfriend, someone must have talked her out of it told her what a cold heart she had. Joey went there, head held high and celebrated his son’s first birthday. Joey and his girlfriend would be on again off again after that. It seemed every time Joey would get it together, she would beg him to come back only to knock him down and take away his son again.
In July of 2001, his girlfriend got her first apartment, she begged Joey to move in with her, he always had Andrew and she needed a babysitter. He was glad to do it, he would stay at home every night while she went out even dating and kissing other guys.
On August 13, 2001, his girlfriend had intercourse with the nastiest guy they knew and told Joey about it in detail, said it was an accident. She moved back in with her mother and Joey stayed at the apartment, continuing to have Andrew most of the time.
On August 19, 2001 we had Andrew's second birthday party at my house. Friends that Joey hadn’t seen for awhile because of his relationship with his girlfriend, were there, we had a wonderful time. I did not invite the girlfriend.
There was such sadness in Joey’s eyes; we hugged for a long time. He said he was still a momma’s boy and proud of it. He seemed fine when he left.
On August 20th Joey and his girlfriend asked me to pick up Andrew at the sitters after work. I did, Joey came over to get him at around 6:30 he said mom thanks I love you, he looked so happy, I said what’s up he said his girlfriend was coming for dinner, I think we are going to work things out.
I didn’t think that was wise but I kept my mouth shut, I know how much I hated people telling me to dump the bad guys I was with even though they were right. He said she is coming over and I am cooking dinner for her, see I have the ground beef right here, got any hamburger helper cheesemac? I gave him a box of the stuff, that by the way was her favorite meal and the only one she could cook. He took Andrew, kissed me good bye said love you mom and walked out the door.
Andrew forgot to tell me he loved me so Joey brought him back in said tell Nana love you and give her a kiss, which Andrew did, Joey said love you mom. See Joey never left my cube at work, which he entered every 5 minutes if he was in the office, never hung up the phone, or left my house without telling me he loved me. When Joey left he was happy and smiling.
On August 21, 2001, Joey didn’t show up for work, no big deal, he’s done this before, he will call me soon. My co-worker Tony and I were talking about him saying it wasn’t like him to not call me, even when he wasn’t coming in he called me.
At 3:00 when I still hadn’t heard anything from Joey I called his girlfriend. She said he’s probably passed out at home drunk. We got into a fight when I told him I was moving to P.A. and taking Andrew with me. He tried to kill me, she then hung up the phone.
I knew right then and there that Joey was dead.
I called my boyfriend and asked him to go check on Joey, he said I can’t, I am on the other side of town. I called my nephew who was my son’s best friend and asked him to have his mom give him a ride to check on Joey. I gave them directions but they got lost.
(Thank God) Lance called me and said I’m on his street (he must have sensed what I did) which house is his. I told him and he kept me on the phone with him when he went up to the house I could here him banging on the door yelling for Joey. Lance said he’s not answering Jack, I said go in go up the stairs and to the left is his room.
He said he’s not in here Jack and went to the kitchen, he dropped the phone and said oh my god Joey NOOOOOOOO and the phone went dead and so did I.
I started screaming not my baby no Joey you can’t be dead, one of my co-workers picked me up from the floor and took me to my dad’s office. Everyone here was in shock, my dad closed the door and said now don’t over react Jack, Lance didn’t say Joey was dead, until he calls back you don’t know what is going on.
I said my baby is DEAD, just then the phone rang and it was Lance, he said oh my god John, Joey is hanging in the kitchen I can’t get him down, he is already dead what do I do?
My dad told him to call the police, my friend who works here drove me to Joey’s house and I sat on his porch for 2 ½ hours waiting for the coroner so they could cut my baby down.
Close to 200 people mostly young adults showed up for his funeral, some I still saw all the time others I hadn’t. They were all a part of my son.
That is my story of Joey and the day that we died.
Jackie McGill