THE DEER HUNT
Are We Having FUN Yet??
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1:00 am
Alarm clock rings
2:00 am
Hunting partners arrive, drag you out of bed.
2:30 am
Throw everything except the kitchen sink into the pick-up.
3:00 am
Leave for the deep woods.
3:15 am
Back home to pick up gun.
3:30 am
Set up camp. Forgot the darn tent.
4:00 am
Drive like heck to get to BACK to the woods before daylight.
4:30 am
FINISH setting up camp.
6:05 am
Head for the woods.
6:06 am
See eight deer!!
6:07 am
Take careful aim and squeeze the trigger.
6:08 am
CLICK
8:00 am
Load gun while watching deer go over the hill.
9:00 am
Head back to camp.
12:00 pm
Get lost--Fire gun for help--eat wild berries.
12:15 pm
Run out of bullets--eight deer come back.
12:20 pm
Strange feeling in stomach.
12:30 pm
Realize you ate poison berries.
12:45 pm
Rescued.
12:55 pm
Rushed to hospital to have stomach pumped.
3:00 pm
Arrive back at camp.
3:30 pm
Leave camp to kill deer.
4:00 pm
Return to camp for bullets.
4:01 pm
Load gun--Leave camp again.
5:00 pm
Empty gun on squirrel that is bugging you.
6:00 pm
Arrive at camp--see deer grazing in camp.
6:01 pm
Load gun.
6:02 pm
Fire gun.
6:03 pm
One dead pick-up.
6:05 pm
Hunting partner arrives in camp dragging deer.
6:06 pm
Repress desire to shoot hunting partner.
6:07 pm
Fall into fire.
6:10 pm
Change clothes--throw burned ones onto fire.
6:15 pm
Take pick-up, leave hunting partner and his deer in camp.
6:25 pm
Pick-up boils over--hole shot in block.
6:26 pm
Start walking.
6:30 pm
Stumble and fall, drop gun in mud.
6:35 pm
Meet bear.
6:36 pm
Take aim.
6:37 pm
Fire gun,
barrel plugged with mud,
gun blows up.
6:38 pm
Need to change underwear.
6:39 pm
Climb the nearest tree.
9:00 pm
Bear finally leaves.
Wrap *$%!@#$% gun around tree.
Midnight
Home at last...WHEW!
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