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Molestation
Molestation occurs when an adult or person significantly older than
a child engages in sexual activity with a minor. The abuse can be over an extended period
of time, or a one time incident, and includes touching, fondling, kissing in a sexual
manner, oral sex, masturbation, digital or penile penetration of rectum or vagina.
 | Molestation occurs in all income and racial groups, from infancy through adulthood. |
| The majority of molesters are known by their victims. |
| You may never know that your child is a victim. |
| Children are not likely to lie about sexual abuse. |
| Children do not outgrow the traumatic effects of molestation. |
It is not enough to warn a child to stay away from strangers. The majority of children are
molested by those they know and trust - but may not be known by other family members. We
also have a lesser known but growing category of molesters: children who perpetrate sexual
crimes upon children younger than themselves.
Statistics:
| The U.S. Department of Justice reported four million child molesters reside in this
country. |
| Almost half of all sex offenders are under 18. |
| Ten years ago we had twenty-two rehabilitation programs for juvenile sex offenders - we
now have 755. |
| New York rape arrests of thirteen year old males increased 200% between 1986 and 1988. |
| 57% of child molesters were molested themselves as children. |
| A typical molester will abuse between 30 to 60 children before they are arrested - as
many as 380 during their lifetime. |
| 29% of all rapes occurred when the victim was less than eleven years old, another 32%
occurred between the ages of 11 and 17. |
The current threat and what lies ahead
of us as a nation is staggering. We owe it to our children to remember that the next
generation of molesters is coming out of this generation, and to act accordingly.
CHARACTERISTICS OF MOLESTERS
| Can have adult sex partners, but children are primary sex object. |
| Have lifestyles which give them easy access to children. |
| Target specific gender, age, hair and eye color. |
| Use threats to manipulate and control victims - or bribe them with gifts, love or
promises to lure victims into their confidence before victimization takes place. |
| May commit first offense when in teens. |
| Continue behavior even after conviction and treatment. |
| Are mostly males, but females also molest. |
| May video or photograph sexual activity with children to exchange with other molesters
and/or shame child into not telling anyone of the abuse. |
| Some molesters network with pornographers and their pictures are used for commercial
child pornography. Pictures are also traded with others interested in sex with children
and become part of the cottage child pornography industry. |
Molesters gain access to children through volunteer and professional occupations as well
as their own neighborhoods. They are skilled at developing relationships with children,
often supplying needs which are not being met at home. Children are easily seduced into
believing that it is okay for adults to have sex with children - it is a good way to learn
about sex - and it is normal for adults to show affection this way.
An abductor preys upon children who:
| take shortcuts to school |
| look depressed |
| are loners |
| appear unkempt, neglected or unsupervised |
| frequent video arcades |
What to do if your child informs you he/she has been sexually abused:
- You do not want to further alarm the child. Stay calm.
Your reaction and attitude will
play a key role in your child's healing.
- Call the police or sheriff's office immediately. The one who molested your child has
probably molested before and will molest again.
- Never confront the molester yourself.
- Respect the child's privacy. Find a private place and listen to their story. Encourage
your child to talk about what happened. Record name, dates, times, and locations so you
don't have to rely on your memory when passing on information to the authorities. This
will spare excessive questioning which can make a child feel that the adult does not
believe him or her.
- Share the information only with those who need to hear about it. Sexually exploited
children are extremely vulnerable to comments from relatives and friends.
- If some time has lapsed since the abuse, don't ask "why didn't you tell me
before?" Molesters are experts at manipulation. Children are often threatened not to
tell anyone and need assurance. Affirm that you are going to protect them.
- This is not the time to scold, no matter how often the child has been warned about
strangers or told not to go anywhere without permission. Never express anger or punish a
child - even if they have disobeyed your orders by being at a location they have been
warned about.
- Continue to affirm the child and explain that they have done nothing wrong. Children
easily assume the guilt and responsibility for what happened. They can be easily enticed
or tricked and later blame themselves because they feel they should have been stronger or
smarter.
- Get immediate medical attention. Sexual abuse must be documented if charges are to be
pressed. Sexually exploited children often have physical injuries, and more children are
getting sexually transmitted diseases today than were affected by the polio epidemic of
the late 40's and early 50's.
- Get counseling/therapy for the child. Children are not emotionally equipped to deal with
the trauma of sexual abuse. Get the best professional help available. Look for a
professional who is experienced in cases of molestation. Don't try to handle your feelings
alone. All family members need attention when one member is victimized.
- Do not vent your anger or other feelings in front of your child who may feel at fault
for upsetting you and regret reporting the abuse.
- Children seldom lie about acts of sexual exploitation because of the shame and guilt
associated with it. Take what they say seriously.
- Don't be surprised - or upset - if your child reports to someone outside the family.
Children become very concerned about a parent's reaction.
- Keep the lines of communication open. Never forget that the child is a victim - the
molester is a criminal.
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Protect Our Kidz 