Chapter 3

© Copyright 2011 by Elizabeth Delayne



“You aren’t even listening to me, Matthew Forester.”

Matt cast a bland glance at Lauren as he adjusted his grip on the basket of food that he carried. Her petite frame didn't seem too small next to Matt. Her brown hair was pulled back in a neat braid, unlike Lila who's blond hair was pulled away from her face. Lauren walked at his side, her lips pinched in a firm line. “You were talking about sailing overseas again.”

"But you weren't listening."

Crystal watched as Matt bit back whatever he was going to say. She wondered if he even knew what he wanted to say. According to Lila, the talk of Africa and China had started just before Lauren's graduation. It was as if, Crystal thought, Lauren was throwing those new ideas in so she wouldn't have to talk about their future or a potential marriage.

Crystal walked quietly behind them in between Jeff and Lila. Thankfully, some of the awkwardness with Jeff was gone after she'd helped him with the flour. Up ahead, Matt carried the basket with their lunch, Jeff had a number of quilts rolled up and tossed over his shoulder.

“This time? We’ve been talking about this for months now.”

“She's been doing all the talking,” Jeff muttered and Lila sighed.

"Lauren," Lila voice had the slightest edge, but it caused her friend to stop and turn to face them. It was true that Lila was taller, almost closer to Matthew in height, and she had styled her hair for someone who had moved smoothly into womanhood. But there was something else, something more, that made Lila seem older and maybe a little more weary. Maybe it was just that she worked, or had to work. Crystal did not know. In her experience bankers families were among the well to do in town.

But then again Jeff had to work, as did Matt. And it wasn't bossiness on Lila's side. It was just more.

Still, Lauren was quiet as Lila spoke.

"Maybe right now isn't the best time to talk about it. Matt and Jeff have been working at the store and I've been at the bank. And you seem to have forgotten that we're doing this for Crystal. Crystal just moved here and has barely had time to settle in."

"But that's just it. You work at the bank. Everyone has something important to do. What am I going to do?"

"You don't have to decide right now. And if you want to take my place for a day, then I welcome you to my world. You can deal with my father," she stared Lauren down. It was clearly something they'd discussed before. "Can we just set aside what we're going to do or what our family wants us to do and figure it out later?"

For a moment Crystal was sure that Lauren would disagree. To Matt's credit, the look in his eyes softened a bit. For all Lauren's complaining or fears, there was something sweet that passed between them as she finally met his gaze and relented. Whatever had caused the hesitation or the delay in a wedding, they had something.

"You're right. I'm very sorry, Crystal," Lauren said, somewhat rushed but at least attempting to add a little warmth to her voice. "Now that there's no more schooling there seems to be a lot of time without everyone else around. It just all comes spilling out and I just forget--I forget to enjoy these times."

Matt grinned at her and held out his arm. "Will you allow me to escort you to the creek side for lunch, Miss. Peterson?"

"I find that agrees with me completely, Mr. Forester."

As they started walking again, the three of them held back and allowed Matt and Lauren some space and a small amount of privacy. Lauren remained a little ridged in her gait, so Crystal doubted she was happy with the confrontation, but she was trying and that was something Crystal could understand.

They followed at a slower pace and remained quiet until Lila sighed. "She's not wrong. Matthew may not understand as both he and Jeff finished their schooling a few years ago, but it was hard for her even last year when I was through and working at the bank. She was older than anyone else at the school by three years, but her mother wanted her to finish and it was important to Matthew that she finish. She had no reason not to. Still, if she is so bored with her life she could actually start giving Matthew a few hints about marriage again and planning for that life together."

"Isn't that what all this Africa talk is? What she wants for her life now?"

"Wedding, Mr. Barton. Their life together begins with a wedding."

"No one's said anything about a wedding, Lila," Jeff reminded her. "At least not in a long time."

Lila laughed and slid an arm through Crystal's as she leaned close and lowered her voice. "Mr. Barton here doesn't think Lauren and Matthew are right for each other."

"Never said that," Jeff muttered a little too loud and then checked himself, lowering his voice. "And they haven't said otherwise."

"Then what is that?" Lila asked as she pointed to the couple in front of them. Whatever Matthew had said, whatever had happened, Lauren's whole demeanor and gait had softened enough that there was an obvious ease between them. Lauren leaned into Matt ever so slightly as they walked, at ease with him as she hadn't been before.

"That's just Matthew Forester and Lauren Peterson," Jeff said. "The way they've always been. The way half this town expects them to be. Doesn't mean they like it. It just means that they've never said one way or the other."

Lila sighed but didn't disagree. She was fairly new to town, having come with her father and the new bank less than five years before. She was beautiful, with this blond hair that seemed to elegantly frame in her face, even as it had slipped from the bun. Her bonnet was of obvious quality. Her air of sophistication, of manners, was of class, more than Crystal was used to, even from her time in Cartersville.

Crystal had never given any thought to traveling across the country. She studied the trees that ran along the little bubbling creek just outside of town. The thought of boarding a ship and going somewhere else so ... foreign, was hard for her to understand. “She sounds so brave, thinking of being a missionary in Africa?”

Jeff lowered the roll of quilts and began to unroll them. “Africa is such a far off possibility that its less of a fear than dealing with her mother and this town. Don’t let her fool you. She gets ... or rather has been getting these ideas only recently. ”

“Recently?”

“She won’t say so,” Lila took the end of the quilt and helped Jeff spread it on the ground. “Not even to me. And maybe she doesn’t really understand herself. But I think she just wants away from her mother, which means moving outside of Lenox.”

“And Matt won’t go?”

“He hasn’t really had a lot of time to think about it.”

“And how can he?” Jeff asked. “By the time it settles that she’s asked him for one thing, she’s moved on to a new idea.”

“It’s kind of sudden, for all of us. She never mentioned leaving town. She didn’t even talk about traveling. But suddenly as she started to finish her courses and they should move into an official courting capacity. Matt was going to talk to her father. It’s like the idea of marriage spooked her.” Lila looked back. “Which is really weird. Until now, they seemed so perfect together.”

Crystal thought back to the few times she had visited. Even as children they never needed a whole lot of words. She knew Lauren could seem a bit bossy on the surface and Matt had always seemed a little bit compliant. As Lauren had matured, she’d developed a softer spirit, but it had only seemed to strengthen the natural devotion between the two. They never really seemed like they had to talk.

Until now.

“Suddenly she’s looking to leave. I don’t think Matt’s ever seen himself doing or being anything but what he’s been and done his whole life. You talk to him, it’s like even Rachel was always here. That she didn’t move in from somewhere else. For him, there’s no other world beyond this town.”

* * *

Every time she came to Lenox, things had been the same.

That was Crystal’s thought as she left Lauren and Lila at the Peterson’s and headed to the widows' boarding house where she was to meet Rachel. Jeff and Matt were always friends, and Matt and Lauren had always been ... well, simply meant for each other. Even when Lila moved to town, the dynamic did not change.

Her one fear of leaving her friends in Cartersville and moving to Lenox had been knowing that a wagon only had four wheels. Matt, Lauren Jeff and Lila were already a group. While others had moved in and moved out, they had stayed.

Her addition to their group had not seemed to matter, not in the past. But things could change.

And could quite possibly be changing before her own eyes.

As she stepped up the front stoop of the boarding house, Rachel came outside looking a little flustered.

“I’m sorry.”

Rachel paused in tying her bonnet. “Why?”

“I ... you were waiting for me,” Crystal waved toward the door.

“Oh,” Rachel waved her own hand, but Crystal noticed the impatience. “No, I knew you were coming. Matt just left. He borrowed a horse off the Bartons so he can go off to brood all by himself. I guess he and Lauren got themselves into another one of their disagreements.”

Crystal paused as she started to climb into the wagon and hesitantly looked across to Rachel.

“I’m not prodding,” she said as she settled into the wagon’s seat and leaned over to give Crustal and hand. “Or I could be, but I don’t really need to. Those two haven’t learned to have their squabbles in private. Matt’s normally like his father—like now, riding off on his own, dealing with it alone, not saying a word. But it’s there, in his face. He doesn’t know how to keep it to himself.”

She let out a breath, “In any case, how as your first outing as a Lenox resident?”

“It was nice,” Crystal ran her hands over her skirt. “Thank you for suggesting it.”

“Oh, Lila and Lauren have been planning it since they found out you were coming to stay for awhile. Since the Morrison girls moved back east three years ago, it’s just been the two of them. All the other girls in town are a lot younger. And before Lila, Lauren was virtually on her own with the boys. I think maybe that’s why she and Matt have always had that ... connection.”

“It’s still there,” Crystal couldn’t help but defend, or maybe assure.

“I think so. In fact, I know so, but I don't know if its enough.”

* * *

Matt rode out past the edge of town and toward the mountains. He circled back around toward the creek and wove his horse back and forth, through the creek bed, letting the water splash. It made him think of Lauren, of being with her and Jeff as children, of the way she used to look at him, of the way being with her made him feel.

Until recently. Until the haunted look had come into her eyes.

And he just couldn’t deal with that image. She was unhappy. She wanted more. She wanted this or that. She wouldn't let him talk to her father and her mother had been saying some things, though he wasn't sure what those things were.

Was he not enough? He didn’t know what she wanted. And he wasn’t sure if he could give her more—at least, not when the more was always changing.

So he dug his heels into his horse and pressed him on, away from the memory, away from the hours he’d just spent. Away from the struggle between sweetness and irritation.

He thought about nothing.

Not leaving, not staying. He told himself not to think about Lauren.

But in the end, he simply stopped and stared out toward the mountains. He did not move, did not think beyond that moment.

Leave Lenox? How could he? Why should he?

It wasn’t that he was opposed to being a missionary. He just did not feel the tug. There were animals in Africa, new animals, new experiences. God could use them there. Was he stuck, simply stuck in this world as Lauren claimed? Was he the one that was afraid to do something different? To do something more with his life? Did he want to?

He couldn’t see what she saw. He could not imagine leaving.

Wouldn’t he feel it, feel something, if God was calling him to the wild’s of Africa?

Animals in Africa ... lions, maybe. Lions were more likely to kill you than be tamed.

* * *

When Lila left later in the afternoon, Lauren told her she was staying in the next day. She had more to read, more to do for her parents. Some errands to run for the widows at the boarding house. That was ... normal.

The truth was, she’d risen at dawn, methodically went through her chores. She did have plenty to read. The stack of paperback books and reading material from the missionary board sat untouched on her desk. The stories were on the pages or written between the covers.

But the truth was, she’d barely read any of it.

It did interest her. Or used to. She pressed Matt more because if he were interested, then they could be interested together.

She just felt ... restless.

As she paced her room, her thoughts collided together. She needed to go to the boarding house, but there was no desire. There would be conversations between them, but not with her. Most of the women there had lived in Lenox since long before she could remember. They knew her. Pretty Lauren. Quiet Lauren.

Serene .

But she felt lost. So very lost.

Instead, she quietly slipped from her room and down the stairs, just in case her mother or father were home. It wasn't that she didn't love her parents, she just couldn't take anymore of their advice. According to her mother she should be looking to settle down, but that didn't mean she had to settle down with Matthew Forester. There were other cities and her parents had a few connections. Maybe she could go visit a few relatives and see what else was out there.

Though Lauren wondered if her mother's advice came less from encouragement and more from a more personal vexation with the Foresters. Everything had been fine until Shatler's name had been mentioned in town. It had been about a year ago. Her father had contacted Crystal's father. He'd met with the town, but he'd turned toward the Foresters, and so had the town. It was their advice people wanted.

Lauren didn't know what to think. Her father was a natural leader. He was the preacher. He had lived in other places.

But Rachel still carried Shatler's mark.

And maybe her mother's whims had nothing to do with that at all.

Lauren left her house, the place she’d grown up. She could remember the days when Rachel had lived with them, before she married Mr. Forester. And she could remember when Matt had first stepped on her porch with the idea of courting her. It had seemed so right.

She had felt so alive.

She turned away from the boarding house, headed back out toward the creek. Like Matt, she needed the quiet, or so she thought. The quiet had often helped her or she thought it should help her. She folded her hands in front of her, put on the face she’d perfected over her life.

She could be serene if people expected it.

She could be—

“Oh!”

As she ran into someone, she jumped back, looked up into the man’s eyes. They seemed so dark.

“Sorry,” she twisted her fingers together. “I’m sorry, I wasn’t—“

”No—don’t be sorry,” he took a proprietary step back. “Neither was I. Looking where I was going.”

He had the look of a man who lived on the trail. He had the look of someone who had been places. Other places.

Outside Lenox.

“You’re the ... preacher’s daughter. Rev. Peterson.”

Lauren frowned a little as she studied him further. She had not seen him around the church, but most Sundays she was kept busy—she kept herself busy.

“Yes. Do I—“

”I’ve seen you with the Foresters.”

“Yes—I’m sorry. I just need to ... go back.”

It suddenly didn’t feel safe.

“Don’t go ... you were headed for a walk. Walk with me. Talk to me about your thoughts on your father’s sermon.”

It wasn’t right, she told herself. He was a stranger, there was no one around.

But he wanted to talk about the sermon.

You freak out at a scorpion. But you suddenly want to live in the wilds of Africa.

She was so tired of safe.


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