Top Ten Ways You Can Tell Your Police Chief Is Out Of Control

• Besides handcuffs, the chief also carrys chains and leather whips.
  
  
• Has appeared on both "cops" and "America's Most Wanted".
  
  
• He empties his service revolvers into donut racks to see which ones have jelly.
  
  
• Drives around in a Sherman Tank, shooting traffic violators in the ass.
  
  
• Instead of sirens, squad cars now blaring John Tush.
  
  
• From the back he looks like Ebert.
  
  
• Any chance he gets, he takes off his clothes and does push-ups.
  (video clip of naked Jimmy Smits doing push-ups).
  
  
• He spends most of the time frisking himself.
  
  
• He's in love with Bertha.
  (The german shepherd drug dog!)
  
  
• Goodbye, uniforms -- hello, Batman outfits! Home