And for the record, the skulls are due to this being Angelfire's "Heavy Metal" theme. I was too lazy to create my own, and I used the regular music one already.

Review: Joe Muggs Coffehouse CD, Vol. 1
Ah yes, the Joe Muggs Coffeehouse CD. The spawn of the Dark Prince himself. The CD that Books-A-Million played repeatedly and repeatedly and repeatedly for months, until Christmas came and they played crappy Christmas music instead. But strangely, after hearing it for the 900th time, some of it started sticking and kinda becoming catchy. It scares me. When BAM decided to mark the CD down to five bucks, I bought it on Associate Appreciation Day... i.e. I get 30% off the $5 price.

Honestly, a lot of the artists are good. They're a bunch of up and comers. One of them I had heard of before the CD came out. A few of them have become bigger since it came out, but that's not because of the lowselling CD (which sold so lowly that volume two came out on Tuesday, which I'll review soon). The song selection was just not good, excluding one or two songs. Let's have a look.

The grading system for this and all future reviews is simple. I'll grade each song on a grading scale of 1-100. It's like being in school. I'll average them all together in the end. An "A" is 91-100, "B" is 81-90, C is 71-80, D is 61-70, and an F is anything below 70. Brings back bad, bad memories. NOW let's have a look.

1. Matt Nathanson - "Fall To Pieces"
Oh, the song all employees (except Victor) despise. Matt is actually a good artist. He did a remake of one of my favorite songs, "Laid" by James, for the latest American Pie soundtrack and probably did it better than James. This song, however, just kind of grating. I still know the words though, so it gets partial credit. 55

2. Mimi Holland - "Anything At All"
Again, this is one of those that, as the overplaying got worse, did not age well like cheese or wine. 45

3. Blue Merle - "Burning in the Sun"
An instant classic. "I'm burning in the sun... I'm losing my miiiiiiiiiiind!" The instrumental breakdown is especially beautiful. 80

4. The Damnwells - "Sleepsinging"
I barely even remember this song. That doesn't bode well. 30

5. Kathleen Edwards - "Mercury"
Kathleen is actually a very, very good artist. She's an up-and-comer in the altcountry world. This song isn't bad. It's a little slow. 80

6. Marc Broussard - "The Wanderer"
Sorry, no. 30

7. Angie Aparo - "Broken"
It's not a bad song. It is, however, a bland song. I feel like I'm in Sears, except that they play oldies that are better. 20

8. Essence - "Breathless"
I kinda like this song. It's not that great (lyric: "and you could fly right back into my bed and do gymnastics in my head"), but really... those are some FINE lyrics. :) 60

9. Eliot Morris - "No One Has To Know"
Again, fairly bland. It's not bad, it's just... bland. 52

10. Andy Stochansky - "22 Steps"
And then there's the masterpiece. Forgetting the fact that I was called "Andy Stochansky" for months, let's look at "22 Steps." "It takes 22 steps from the walk to your door." Fair enough. "It takes 22 steps, 'cause I've tried it before." Sounds like a decent boyfriend. "And one day I'll knock, I'll just knooooock." HE'S A STALKER! Best song ever! 90

11. Lori McKenna - "Fireflies"
This is my favorite song on the album. Someone once said it was because it sounded like "that Dixie Chick" (that being Natalie Maines). She was absolutely right. 96

12. Jim Boggia - "Three Steps At a Time"
Wow, this doesn't sound familiar at all. It was THAT MEMORABLE. I hear the songs 1,500 times and I don't recognize it. 11

Final Average: 58

Ooooh, Joe fails. Barely though! Volume Two is a lot more promising. I've only heard two of the songs (they just started playing the songs Tuesday, and they aren't playing them nearly as much as they did for the first one), but it has Jem and some other people I've actually heard of. That'll probably be our next review. See you then!