Can You Spell Fall TV Without Reality?
Fall television preview by Andy Moseley - reprinted with permission from the October 2000 Mariners' Log
For years and years, when the fall television schedule came out, it looked like it had every year before: 15 or so new shows that wouldn't make it to Christmas, two or three new shows that wouldn't prosper but were good enough to last a while, and the one or two shows that viewers at home actually cared about. ABC totally shattered that kind of lineup last year with its breakthrough hit Who Wants to Be a Millionaire. That's right, a game show came into the lineup midseason and totally dominated each and every sitcom all five networks had to offer. Regis Philbin, once merely an annoying sidekick to an even more annoying Kathie Lee, became a household fixture, and the Millionaire craze was on.
Reege was on a nonstop cruise in the number one position until this summer, when CBS decided to throw their own little curve into the lineup. How would viewers react to people stranded on a deserted island for a little over a month, battling for a million dollars? How about putting a group together in a house totally covered with cameras and microphones? Yes, CBS decided it was time to see how reality would fare against sitcoms. To put it bluntly, reality ruled. Survivor became the only juggernaut that could knock the mighty Millionaire off the top of the ratings mountain. (Big Brother was a different story, but hey, we'll save that for a future article.) America became addicted to Rich and his nakedness, Colleen and her cuteness, Rudy and his straightforward comments, and Greg and his habit of talking into a coconut as if it were a telephone.
The good news is that CBS has Survivor coming back right after the Super Bowl. The bad news: that's four months away. What's a network to do now, actually have SITCOMS on the air? Say it ain't so! It is just like the old days now, with Millionaire on top and all five networks (including ABC) trying to come up with shows that can displace it. Fall television can best be compared to minor league baseball: dozens of players trying out, but only a few making it to the big leagues. Let's take a look at this year's prospects, shall we?
The fall comedy scene is always one of pure confusion. You know, "Wait, was that supposed to make me laugh?" This year's entries are no exception. ABC has a possible hit on their hands with The Geena Davis Show (Tuesday at 9:30), starring Davis as a woman who abandons the fast-paced, big-city, single life to become a mother of three. Wait, maybe this is reality television. If Geena doesn't float your boat, the Reege network would love for you to flip over to Friday nights and the programming block formerly known as "TGIF." Debuting in the 8:30 time slot is The Trouble With Normal. I'll tell you what the trouble is; the show after this is Norm. Normal, Norm-don't confuse me! Following Norm at 9:30 will be Madigan Man, which looks as if it might be an okay show. Gabriel Byrne stars as Benjamin Madigan, who shares a house with his teenage son and his divorced father.
CBS will counter ABC's Geena with its own comedy diva in Bette (Wednesdays at 8 p.m.), starring Bette Midler herself. Unlike Geena, though, Bette actually stars as Bette. Well, it'll last at least until Survivor returns. Following Bette at 8:30 will be Welcome to New York, which stars Christine Baranksi. Baranski plays producer to Jim Gaffigan's meteorologist role. Speaking of which, the forecast is not a sunny one; this show will not live to see December. Yes, Dear will air on Mondays at 8:30 p.m. What can I say? The little preview on CBS.com for this show is more confusing than trigonometry.
In a show that blends comedy and drama, FOX is bringing Boston Public to Mondays at 8 p.m. FOX is saying this show is going to be the flip side of the teen dramas, and from the promos I have seen, this show looks like it could be really good. You should definitely keep an eye out for it. John Goodman is back, and this time he's on FOX, starring in Normal, Ohio on Wednesdays at 8:30. What's with "normal" this year? This version is two single fathers who share a house with their kids. Hilarious, I'm sure.
Hey, remember that Cosmo Kramer guy? NBC hopes you do. Michael Richards will anchor NBC's portion of the comedy menu with The Michael Richards Show. Richards is a detective, and while parts of the Kramer character are clearly evident, NBC wants you to know that this is NOT Kramer. If Kramer (oops, it's not Kramer) isn't good enough, how about David Letterman? Dave is executive producer for the show Ed, on NBC at 8 p.m. on Sunday. Don't look for this show in the top-ten list, but look for at least a little humor. Tucker (NBC, 8:30 on Sundays) stars the woman you probably know best as Al Bundy's wife, Katey Segal. This isn't Married . . . With Children, and chances are, it won't last a tenth as long, either.
The peacock network boasts of plenty more comedy where that came from, as David Alan Grier and Delta Burke star in Dag. This takes place behinds the scenes at the White House, which is pretty much a real-life sitcom itself nowadays. While both Grier and Burke have their moments, I'm not sure they'll be able to bring this show above sea-level. Maybe the show is just cursed. Speak of the devil! Cursed (8:30, Thursday) stars Steven Weber as a guy whose perfect life is ruined by a string of bad luck. I guess it really doesn't matter what the show is about, since it's planted firmly between Friends and Will & Grace as a part of the big "Must See TV" Thursday. A weekly infomercial starring the dog from Mad About You walking around the yard for 30 minutes would be a hit in that time slot.
Finally, the comedic minds at NBC bring us Daddio (Mondays at 8 p.m.) about a stay-at-home father who is a homemaker. Burn, baby, burn; this one's going down and it's going to go down really fast. Even if it were a good show, putting it up against Monday Night Football and Monday night wrestling is not such a smart plan.
Don't forget about the little people, UPN and the WB. Chances are, nothing on either network will earn a big share of the audience, but their shows survive, simply because the two networks don't have anything else to show. UPN will try out another comedy with Girlfriends. There's one good thing about this show: it's produced by Kelsey Grammer. On another network and without Grammar, it wouldn't last three weeks. You can catch it at 9:30 p.m. on Mondays.
The new breed of comedy might not be what the doctor ordered, so there are plenty of returning shows to watch. ABC is continuing with Dharma & Greg, The Drew Carey Show, Spin City, Whose Line Is It Anyway?, Two Guys and a Girl, and Norm. CBS will bring back The King of Queens, Everybody Loves Raymond, and Becker. FOX has the highly popular Sunday night lineup FOX has the highly popular Sunday night lineup of Futurama, King of the Hill, The Simpsons, and Malcolm in the Middle as well as other mainstays Ally McBeal, That '70s Show, Titus, and Mad TV. (Family Guy is set to be a reserve, but trust me, it'll appear again). NBC once again has Friends, Will & Grace, Just Shoot Me, 3rd Rock from the Sun, and Frasier. UPN has Moesha, The Parkers, and The Hughleys (which is over from ABC) back-to-back-to-back on Monday night.
Maybe you're leaning away from the comedy and are looking for some drama. The show that looks as if it is going to be the big hit of the year in my opinion is Dark Angel, which will air on Tuesdays at 9 p.m. It is directed by James Cameron, best known for The Terminator and Titanic. The show has all of the factors it needs to be a huge smash: the futuristic storyline, its being aimed at teens; and its stars, Jessica Alba, being quite attractive. Even I might have to give this one a try, based on it's star alone. (Forget that last year I said Time of Your Life would succeed just because it starred Jennifer Love Hewitt)
Gideon's Crossing will end ABC's Wednesday nights at 10 p.m. Unfortunately, it's a show based in a hospital and, if I remember correctly, don't we already have one of those? Anyway, Ben Gideon (played by Andre Braughner) is the head doctor and, as ABC.com says, "treats the whole person, not just the illness." Okay. The eyeball network (CBS) will counter with The Fugitive and C.S.I., airing back-to-back on Fridays starting at 8 p.m. The Fugitive, starring Tim Daly, pretty much follows along the lines of the hit movie. C.S.I. (Crime Scene Investigators) will probably outlast The Fugitive, but not for its unknown cast.
The drama fun will continue for CBS. On the night nobody watches, Saturday, CBS offers That's Life at 8 p.m. Starring Heather Paige Kent, the show is about a thirty-something woman who enrolls at a college. Hey, they made a show about CGCC! I see this show doing really well. Two hours later on CBS will be The District, starring former Coach star Craig T. Nelson as the new police commissioner of the nation's capital. It's time to clean up the streets of Washington, D.C.
Continuing with the drama scene, we head back to FOX and The $treet. The premise of the show is that a group of people must navigate the world of Wall Street, not to mention the scene away from the stock world. Seeing that it's from the same guy who brought us Sex and the City and Melrose Place, it will probably last at least until next fall. Freakylinks will anchor FOX's Friday lineup at 8 p.m. It's from the fine folks who brought us The Blair Witch Project, and much of it is shot in the same way. Unfortunately, somebody forgot to remind them that the Blair Witch craze has pretty much died off. The follow-up show at 9 p.m., Night Visions, has a better chance at success. Reminiscent of The Twilight Zone, it has plot twists right up until the credits. Those twists might be just what the show needs to last.
Aaron Spelling is back at it again with his teen dramas, but this time one has landed on NBC. The 8 p.m. block on Wednesdays is scheduled for Titans. If you've seen Beverly Hills, 90210 or Melrose Place, you pretty much know what to expect before you even turn on the television. NBC has a show on Mondays at 9 p.m. which is about a newspaper columnist who gets to the bottom of a story with help from students in his journalism class. Sharon Bartkovich was originally scheduled to star in the show, but she had to back out at the last minute, so Oliver Platt gets to star.
It's apparently drama night on Fridays for UPN. The little network starts out at 8 p.m. with Freedom, starring people none of us have ever heard of in a show that probably won't be watched anyway. I can't do it justice, so here's the description directly from the UPN website: "Now a team of four awesomely trained rebels-fighting machines whose razor-edged bodies and defiant spirits are ultimate weapons-have escaped from the would-be dictator's dungeons, and they will strike from nowhere and everywhere, destroying like wrathful gods, until the America they knew is restored." Wow, that kind of scares me, actually.
Following that intensity, at 9 p.m. is Level Nine, which, according to what I get out of the preview, is about a group that is trying to rid the world of destruction-minded hackers. I could be wrong; all of UPN's 50-cents words don't make it easy to figure out their shows. But even $10 words are better than what The WB did, since I can't even find a fall preview on their Web site. However, I can tell you that Gilmore Girls is a drama-comedy about a mother and her teen daughter with whom she happens to share a bond.
There's plenty of returning drama for you to sink your teeth into as well. ABC will return The Practice, Once and Again, and NYPD Blue. CBS is bringing back Family Law, JAG, Judging Amy, City of Angels, Diagnosis Murder, Nash Bridges, Walker Texas Ranger, and Touched by an Angel. The X-Files is back for another season of fun on FOX. Returning on NBC are Third Watch, The West Wing, Law & Order, ER, and Providence. Don't forget about 7 Days and Star Trek: Voyager on UPN's Wednesdays.
What's that, you say, there's nothing like live television? In that case, I'm sorry to let you know that there is very little in that genre that's new. ABC returns its news broadcasts, Downtown and Primetime Thursday. If Dan Rather is your choice over Barbra Walters, CBS has 60 Minutes as well as 60 Minutes II. Football fans have something to look forward to-or do they? Dennis Miller is in the ABC booth right now on Monday Night Football, but football will go extreme in February on NBC with XFL football broadcasts. Oh, did I mention that ABC is adding a fourth night of Who Wants to Be a Millionaire? If game shows, football, and news can't fill your desire, there is only one alternative left, and that's UPN's WWF SmackDown! on Thursdays.
As I mentioned earlier, there is one minor glitch with my fall television preview: the WB is pretty much non-existent. As they redid their Web page, they removed the fall preview, so there's basically no schedule for them available. I do know that you can look for their usual favorites-Dawson's Creek, Felicity, Popular, The Jamie Foxx Show, and so on-at their normal times. If you would like to know more about their new shows, my suggestion is to look for the annual fall preview edition of TV Guide.
Well, there you have it, pretty much everything you need to know about what actually survived the cutting rooms to make it into the fall lineups. The three shows I predict will do really well and survive are FOX's Dark Angel and Boston Public along with ABC's The Geena Davis Show. Of course, I predicted a short little run for Malcolm in the Middle last year, and look where that is now. Don't forget that, in addition to the shows listed above, you can anticipate a fine selection of award shows, movies, and special presentations. So, get that bag of potato chips and a drink, flop down in front of the television, and get to watching!
