It’s a Good Thing I'm Not Paid to Do This: A look back at my fall television preview
by Andy Moseley - reprinted with permission from the March 2000 Mariners Log
Back in the October 1999 Mariners' Log (archived on our website), I wrote an article previewing the Fall '99 television season. As with most fall seasons, a good number of new shows didn't make it into the new century. However, some made the transition successfully, if not surprisingly. Let's look back at where I went right and wrong.
First are the comedies. I said that UPN's Grown Ups, starring Jaleel White (the artist formerly known as Urkel), didn't appeal at all; I said it wouldn't last. Look who's inserting his foot into his mouth now. UPN's Shasta McNasty, which has been shortened to just Shasta, is also around. In my defense, you have to realize that this is UPN, a network desperate for just about any show. I gave rave reviews to ABC's Oh Grow Up, and observant watchers will notice that it doesn't appear anywhere on the television. I believe I called FOX's Action "a great show"; it has suffered a fate similar to Oh Grow Up’s, but it did last a little longer. I haven't even seen UPN's Mission Hill.
There were a number of shows that I didn't even really talk about, just saying they wouldn't last long. The most glaringly obvious error of those shows is Malcolm in the Middle. Malcolm is the new big hit of the season. NBC's Stark Raving Mad has also found success in the infamous "Must-See TV" time slot of NBC. In other words, it is a very good thing that I wasn't paid to predict what would succeed. Long-time kingpins like The Simpsons, Friends, and Frasier still reign in the comedy slots, but these new comedies have livened up the genre.
Next up is the young-adult-drama category, dominated by Dawson's Creek. Felicity, the other big hit, has seen pretty big ratings drops lately that are being blamed on Keri Russell’s cutting her hair. Back in October, I wasn't really sure that NBC's Freaks and Geeks would live; I was wrong. It must have done OK in its Saturday night time slot, because it's found its way to Monday nights at 8 p.m. FOX's Time of Your Life, starring Jennifer Love Hewitt, appears to be on a short hiatus. Now appearing in its time slot is That 70s Show, which means we may or may not see the return of Hewitt. It really depends on how its replacement does. I'll miss Time if it doesn't return, though not because of the storylines. FOX's Manchester Prep never even hit the air, and Roswell has been a slight hit on the WB (also desperate for shows), while ABC's Odd Man Out hasn't had a chance to shine because of-of all people-Regis.
It's been a fair year for dramas and romantic shows, which fill out the rest of the schedule. I raved over Snoops on ABC's Sunday schedule . . . and now Regis is there. Go figure: you start with two beautiful women, and you end up with Regis. NBC's West Wing, their White House drama starring Rob Lowe, has survived in the time slot dominated by game shows. The WB's Safe Harbor barely saw the light of day, which means I actually predicted something right! As expected, Once and Again was replaced by the returning NYPD Blue on ABC in November. FOX's Get Real never really did that. I said that NBC's Third Watch could be a hit or miss, and it ended up being a hit. CBS's Now and Again survived and is now thriving (well, as much as it can) on Friday nights. Most of the other shows didn't last.
I gave a whole paragraph in the October article to the one show that fit into every category: comedy, drama, violence, and romance. WWF SmackDown! on UPN has thrived, grabbing up the 14-21 male demographic that networks try so hard to get to watch. Turns out that it takes a wrestler marrying the boss’s daughter, an 84-year-old woman being pregnant (well, in the storylines anyway), and a women’s match in gravy to get that demographic. Hey, whatever works. I'll admit it-I watch it. It's entertaining, okay?
Did I mention that none of the shows mentioned above have really had a chance to thrive thanks to A GAME SHOW? Thanks to a game show hosted by REGIS, of all people? Yes, the game show craze has once again hit America, and it has taken over every basic network. ABC tried out a new-fangled game show called Who Wants To Be a Millionaire in late 1999, let Kathie Lee's partner host it, and violá-we have a hit! Millionaire has constantly been number one in the Nielson ratings, everybody is ripping off its concept (except me, of course; I'm the last person to rip off something popular and use it for my own success), and it has a top-selling computer game of the same name. In fact, Regis's favorite Millionaire saying is a pop-culture item now. Soon, everyone who’s anyone will be wearing the t-shirt: “Is that your final answer?” The other networks, having noticed that Millionaire was thrashing their shows, have come up with their own. FOX struck first with Greed, which gave away more money but in a team concept. Players could either take the money or turn on their team and go for more money (that being the definition of “greed”). CBS is trying out Winning Lines, hosted by the ageless Dick Clark. NBC is going for the classics, with a new version of Twenty-One. The three new shows have been recognized for what they are-cheesy ripoffs-and are faring accordingly in the ratings.
Of course, leave it to FOX to take the Millionaire concept one step further with Who Wants to Marry a Multi-Millionaire? Fifty women were given a chance to strut their stuff and answer questions, each hoping to capture the heart of the mystery multi-millionaire. It did great in the ratings, but a controversial past, one including spousal abuse, caught up with the multi-millionaire. The lucky charmer is getting an annulment, and Money-bags has gone on to stand-up comedy. (I believe his routine is called “Who wants to be a jerk?”) I have figured out the concept, though; just put "Who Wants to" and "Millionaire" in the show title and you have a smash hit. It's that easy!
Cable, with fewer rules than the networks about what can or can’t be shown, still hasn't exactly burned up the airwaves. All the cable moguls are looking at the World Wrestling Federation's two hours of Monday night programming and crying. I said that Ben Stein's Turn Ben Stein On (Comedy Central) would be hilarious. Well, I saw one episode of it and haven't heard from it since. TBS's New Ripley's Believe it or Not has been believed, apparently, but I wonder if it would be successful in any time slot other than the one on Wednesday nights before World Championship Wrestling's Thunder. (We interrupt this message with breaking news: cable knows how to do rip-offs, too!) The syndicated Battle Dome, best described as “American Gladiators on Steroids,” has done okay. America is obsessed with winning money and beating people up.
In October, I also mentioned some daytime and late-night newcomers that could be good or bad. CBS's The Early Show has held its own against NBC's Today with the “early-to-bed-and-so-on” crowd. Divorce Court has thrived with the “let’s-be-entertained-by-someone-else’s-troubles” group who can’t get enough courtroom drama on Law and Order and The Practice. The courtroom shows, led at the moment by Judge Judy and Judge Joe Brown, are hot. How hot are they? Even Animal Planet has a court show hosted by Judge Wapner. No kidding; your dog takes my dog to court in a nasty custody battle. Blind Date has done fairly well in the ratings in syndication as well, showing couples on their-surprise!-blind dates. Unfortunately, the fitness fairy himself couldn't be as lucky: Richard Simmons's Dream Maker didn't last very long in syndication.
I guess I did okay at best with my fall television predictions. The only thing that messed me up was Who Wants to Be a Millionaire. Who could have ever predicted a game show being the top television show of 2000? Feel free to e-mail me at andy1278@hotmail.com with any positive or negative feedback. I promise that I'll respond as quickly as I can, and I truly appreciate any and all feedback!
By the way, just because I messed up when I predicted fall television hits this time, that's not going to stop me from trying again in the October 2000 Mariners' Log-but I might drop a dime (Where’d that expression come from? When did a phone call cost a dime?) on the Psychic Network and see if they can boost my success rate!
