The ABC Superheroes!
It all starts when Ms. Marvel was watching ABC News,as she was trimming the Christmas Tree For The Holiday Season. They were talking about how Regis Philbin was THE one who saved ABC-TV from certain doom.
Ms. Marvel: I can't believe this! They are talking about how Regis Philbin saved ABC-TV with this show, Who Wants To Be A Millionare? and NOT talk about ME, the real hero who saved them 15 years ago!
It is NOT right.
Blue Thunder: Why don't you fly to New York City and talk to your old friends, Miss ABC and Mr. Capital Cities Communications about it? Since you know them longer than I have, why don't you go and pay them a visit?!?
And, make sure that you deliver your Christmas gifts to them.
Ms. Marvel: You are right, Honeybunny. Since you are going to visit the inlaws this holiday season, I hope that they will like the gifts we sent them.
Spacepuppy: It would also be good to see our old pals, Spider-Man, Daredevil and Deucie again.
Ms. Marvel: Well, Happy Holidays, my beloved. I am off to New York City for the holidays!
Blue Thunder: You be careful and bundle up!
Meanwhile, at ABC TV Headquarters, Michael Eisner is talking to Miss ABC and Mr. Capital Cities...........
Michael Eisner: As you know by now,"Who Wants To Be A Millionare?" has been a great success for us. But, so far, NOT one celebrity has won the $1 Million Dollars For Charity. I wish I knew who could help!
Just then, right on cue, a masked female and her faithful puppy dog flew in!
Miss ABC: It's Ms. Marvel!
Ms. Marvel: I am here to correct a travisty of injustice, Miss ABC. I am here to talk to Mr. Eisner about the fact that I am THE one who saved you all 15 years ago, in my hometown of Atlanta, Georgia USA and to have him apologize for making this mistake.
Mr. Eisner: What are you talking about? A girl with a mask and scarf saved ABC TV?
Ms. Marvel Sighed. Sometimes, grownups need to be explained about these matters. She decided to explain it all to them.
Ms. Marvel: I feel that you should know why I saved the day 15 years ago. As you know, it started in Hollywood, where Tony Thomopolis and Fredrick Pierce announced the marriage of Miss ABC To Handsome Mr. Captial Cities Communications. Then, they introduced The ABC Superheroes!
The Greatest American Hero, Electra Woman And Dyna Girl, Automan and Street Hawk.
But the hardest thing of them all was to decide where to have the wedding. New York, LA, San Francisco.
However, were it not for Andrew Fisher, who at the time of this story, was the vice president and general manager of WSB-TV, we would NEVER have had the wedding in Atlanta, Georgia USA!
Andrew Fisher: May I suggest to all of you that the wedding be held in Atlanta, Georgia USA, at the Omni Collesium?!?
Ms. Marvel: At first, everyone thought that he was crazy, but the wise heads did prevail and Atlanta won out over all the other cities.
Then, the media interviewed The ABC Heroes...........
Jeannie Wolf: Greatest Americian Hero?
Ralph: Yes?
Jeannie Wolf: Jeannie Wolf, Entertainment Tonight.
Is any truth to the rumor that there is a female crimefighter in Atlanta, Georgia that would be worthy of membership of being in The ABC Superheroes?!?
Ralph: Well, Jeannie. We will look into the matter very seriously and will follow up on this rumor.
Ms. Marvel: Shortly after The ABC Heroes, Miss ABC And Mr. Captial Cities Communications arrived in Atlanta, Georgia, Mr 3C gets kidnapped and the ABC heroes try to rescue him, only to be led into more peril. To make things really messy, Prince Orion And Ilya-Lar, along with Major Earl and Little Nicci get kidnapped as well.
Mr. Eisner: How did you rescue all of them? Greatest American Hero, Electra Woman, Dyna Girl, Automan And Streethawk were in peril, along with this Prince Orion And Ilya-Lar and Major Earl and Little Nicci?!?
Just then, Regis Philbin came in..........
Regis Philbin: Michael, have you found someone for the Celebrity Episode Of "Who Wants To Be A Millionare?"
Wait! I know you! You're Ms. Marvel!
This is a great honor!
Ms. Marvel: Regis, there is a reason why I am here.
I am here to correct a travisty of injustice.
I was the first one to save ABC-TV. And I am a BIG fan of yours. I know you from The Neighbors, Almost Anything Goes, and now Who Wants To Be A Millionare!
Regis Philbin: This young lady knows about my part in the history of ABC, better than anyone here at the network!
Would you like to be on Who Wants To Be A Millionare?
Ms. Marvel: Yes, please. I would love to do it, for the sake of the disabled prisoners of conscience, and the Georgia Advocacy Office, which will be a beneficuary of the Million Dollars, which will be used as a legal defense fund to see to it that people with disabilities get freed and be given their civil rights under the American Special Education Laws, The Americans With Disabilities Act of 1990 and the Landmark Pardon Of The Disabled, Otherwise known as the LC and EW Vs. Olmstead Of Georgia Department Of Human Resources case.
Regis Philbin: Would you like to be on tonight's show, Ms. Marvel?
Ms. Marvel: Yes, please.
Ms. Marvel then remembers another piece of how she rescued Ralph. She remembers how she and Spacepuppy were able to fly to Stone Mountain to save him.Our hero was tied to a cable car by his arch foe, Johnny Sandova and was about to meet his doom when....
Rocky: Mr. S, the superdude has a female counterpart.
Johnny: What?!? A Female Superdude?!?
Sammy: We better get out of here, Mr. S.
Ms. Marvel: I don't think so, boys!
Johnny: Get her! Get that female crimefighter and that mutt of hers!
Spacepuppy: Mutt! I'll teach you NOT to call me a mutt, you mean man!
Spacepuppy bites Johnny Sandova on the wrist!
Johnny: EEEYOW!!!!!!
Spacepuppy: That will teach you not to mess with my master and my master's pals!
Ms.Marvel: Oh No! That fellow superhero is about to meet his doom on that cable car! We got to save him!
Can the Kree Larian Duo save The Greatest American Hero and all the other ABC Heroes And Win The Million Dollars For The Georgia Advocacy Office and The Disabled Prisoners Of Conscience?
Don't Touch That Remote On That Mouse!
Ms. Marvel Will Be Right Back After These Messages!
Now, Back To Ms. Marvel!
Regis Philbin: So, how did you rescue The Greatest American Hero, Ms. Marvel?
Ms. Marvel: Well, I do remember that the cable car was careening out of control. Ralph was tied to the cable car and Spacepuppy and I were able to use our powers to free him.
Ralph: Thank you for rescuing me. How did you know that I was in trouble?
Ms. Marvel: Well, it has something to do with my powers.
I think we better land and properly introduce ourselves.
Ralph: WHOAHHH! CRASH!!
Ms. Marvel: AYYIEE!! CRASH!
Ralph: You have trouble with landings like me?
Ms. Marvel: Yes, I do that problem.
Ralph: Bill always says that I should learn to land gently.
Ms. Marvel: Whenever I land, Major Earl, my beloved, always tells me to remind him to teach me how to land softer.
Spacepuppy: And he says that goes double for me.
Ralph: You can talk?!?
Spacepuppy: That is right! I like you, Ralph!
LAPP! LAPP! LAPP!
Ralph: And you are a cute cuddley ball with a wiggley, waggley tail, with floppy ears, big scampering feet and a lovable disposition.
Just then.......
Ms. Marvel: ARRRGH! My Seventh Sense tells me the other ABC heroes, Prince Orion and Ilya-Lar, Major Earl and Little Nicci need to be rescued! I have to go now! AWAY!!!
Spacepuppy: See you later!
Ralph: I better call Bill over at the Atlanta, Georgia FBI office. He would know what to do and would give me the answers to these questions about that masked girl and her faithful puppy dog.
Ralph calls Bill on his Micro Communicator....
Ralph: Bill?
Bill: Ralph, where have you been?
Ralph: Fighting Johnny Sanova and being rescued by a girl and a talking puppy dog.
Bill: A Skirt rescued you?!? A Skirt?!? And A Talking Puppy Dog?!? Have you been attuned to the greenguys again?!?
Ralph: Well,Bill. I know that she did not wear a skirt. She had this red and blue bodysuit and tights, with a yellow eight pointed star in the center of her costume, blue gloves, blue boots with red trim, wavy blonde hair.
Bill: Did she have a cape?
Ralph: No, Bill. She wore a red scarf and a blue mask to conceal who she really is. Her puppy had a red scarf and red mask. But there was one thing that puzzled me at this time: Who is this Prince Orion And Ilya-Lar? Who is this Major Earl and Little Nicci?
Bill: I will run that scenerio through my computer database, Ralph. You go back to Miss ABC and protect her.
Ralph: OK,will do, Bill. Ralph out.
Regis Philbin: So, what happened next?
Ms. Marvel: Well, Spacepuppy and I were able to go rescue Electra Woman And Dyna Girl from Glitterock and his punk rock nephew, Nouveau.
They were being held hostage at this club called the 688 on 688 Peachtree Street.....
Glitter Rock: So, Electra Chicks! What do you think of my nephew's punk stylings?!?
Electra Woman: In my opinion, Glitter Rock, he is as musically bad as you are.
Dyna Girl: Not only that, Nouveau would NEVER get a date with Debbie Harry, with that horrible colored hair.
Nouveau: Did you hear that, Uncle Glitter Rock?!?
That Dyna Dame has put me to shame! Let me give her such a thrashing with my musical ax.
Glitter Rock: Nouveau, my dear nephew. We DO NOT hit these Electra Chicks with the guitar. It is very uncool. And besides, what would your Uncle Sideman, God Rock and Rest His Soul, would say if he heard that?!?
Nouveau: He would say that it would be uncool and that it will come out of my allowance.
Glitter Rock: That is right. Now, let's be like an uncle and nephew team and give the Electra Chicks what we do to music critics who DO NOT like our music!
Ms. Marvel: Not if I can stop you, your musical miscrents!
Dyna Girl: Electra Woman! It's Ms. Marvel! And she has come to our aid!
Electra Woman: I hope that she can teach them some manners.
Ms. Marvel: I'll teach you NOT to trespass at 688, you vile music misfits!
The Female Fury was able to stop these evildoers, sent Glitter Rock to The Atlanta Federal Pen and used her magical powers to send Nouveau to Boys Town for some serious help.
Electra Woman: Thanks, Ms.Marvel. Without your help, Dyna Girl and I would have become deaf.
Dyna Girl: And you too, Spacepuppy. Thank you for getting us free, so that we were able to Electra Degravitate.
Ms. Marvel: You are quite welcome! ARRGH!
My Seventh Sense! I got to go and rescue the other ABC heroes, Mr. Captial Cities, Prince Orion and Ilya-Lar and Major Earl And Little Nicci. I hope that we will meet again soon! AWAY!!!!!!!!!!!
Electra Woman: Come in, Professor Heflin.
This is Electra Woman. Do you read me? Over.
Professor Frank Heflin: I read you. What is going on? Are you two alright?!?
Dyna Girl: You are NOT going to believe this, but we were rescued by Ms. Marvel and Spacepuppy.
But there is one thing that still ponders us.
Who is this Prince Orion and Ilya-Lar? And Who Is This Major Earl and Little Nicci?
Heflin: I will run that information through Crimescope, our computer. You two better go and check up on Miss ABC.
Electra Woman: Will do, Frank. Electra Woman out.
Heflin: OK, Crimescope. Get me some information on this Prince Orion and Ilya-Lar and this Major Earl and Little Nicci.
Crimescope: As you wish, Professor Heflin.
Regis Philbin: So, What Happened Next?!?
Did you rescue Automan And StreetHawk?
Ms. Marvel: Well, I did rescue them.
And as always, they asked their partners the same question................
Automan: Walter, who is this Prince Orion And Ilya-Lar?! And Who Is This Major Earl And Little Nicci?
At this point, Cursor beeps as if to say: And what about that talking puppy dog that she has?!?
Walter Nebbiker: Well, I will run it past the computer databases and call you later.
Street Hawk: Norman, you would NOT believe this, but I got rescued by a masked female crimefighter and her talking puppy dog.
Norman Tuttle: Jessie Mach, there is NO such thing as a female crimefighter and a talking puppy dog.
Street Hawk: But, Norman! She is as real as I am!
But there is one thing that still ponders me.
Who is this Prince Orion And Ilya-Lar?
Who is this Major Earl and Little Nicci?
Norman Tuttle: OK, Mach! I will find out this information on the FBI computer. You get back to Miss ABC and check in with her.
Street Hawk: Will do, Norman. Street Hawk out!
Ms. Marvel: I then flew all the way to Kennesaw Mountain, where there was an old sawmill.
Prince Orion was tied to a log and was about to be shredded up into silver ribbons. Princess Ilya-Lar tried to escape and to find me in her White Bird Mode, but was put in a bird cage, as she was watching her prince being killed. I was able to come to their rescue just in the nick of heroic time.............
Prince Orion: Oh, Princess! I am so glad that you came to our rescue. Those evildoers kidnapped Ilya and I, over some silly rumor that you would become a team player for someone.
Ilya-Lar: And they used very naughty words, my beloved prince. We refused to tell that mean man who did this to us.
Ms. Marvel: Do not worry, Your Majesties. I will get that bad man who hurt the two of you and Major Earl and Little Nicci. I must find them!
AWAYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Regis Philbin: WOW! I did NOT know that you had to do it all! So, what happened next?!?
Ms. Marvel: Well, I was able to find Major Earl and Little Nicci tied to the railroad tracks! I was able to stop the 5:55 PM train from killing my then beloved and his little niece.
Earl: Thanks, Ms. Marvel. I am so glad that you came to our rescue!
Little Nicci: I knew you would come to our rescue and saved me and Uncle Earl from becoming flat pancakes!
Ms. Marvel: I then took off to rescue Mr. Capital Cities Communications, set him free and told him to get out of there.
3C: You DO NOT have to tell me twice!
Ms. Marvel: Shortly after I freed him, I was able to meet the real villian who was responsible for this whole mess and I beat the stuffing out of him.
Then, somehow, I blacked out and this other person was very angry at him. Her clothes were in rags, her glasses were missing, along with her shoes and socks and very mad with grief and wanted to kill this man and me!
Betsy Goodrich: Damn you, Herb Jacobs!
You and Ms. Marvel both! Because of you, you have caused me nothing but grief and misery.
And now, I am going to make you pay for what you did!
With Your Life!
Will Betsy Get Her Revenge Aganst Herb Jacobs?
Will Ms. Marvel Win The Million Dollars To Free The Disabled Prisoners Of Conscience for the Georgia Advoacy Office? Do NOT miss part two, right here on Ms. Marvel!
Ms. Marvel/ABC Heroes Links
Greatest American Hero Website
Electra Woman And Dyna Girl Website
ABC-TV, Where The Heroes Are!
Marvel Comics-The Home Of Ms. Marvel!
WSB-TV 2- The Home Of The Ms. Marvel Beat On Action News!
The Georgia Advocacy Office
