VENT OF THE WEEK

01/24/03:
This summer I loaned my coffee maker to a friend of mine. When I passed it off to her I jokingly said: "Now, I want this back..." She laughed and said, "Lauren, it's an appliance of course I'll give it back."

Summer was over. School started back. I ran into her and asked for the coffee maker. "It's in my car, I'll give it to you soon," she said.

A couple of months go by, so I call her...darn, I get the machine...I leave a message- "Hey _____, it's Lauren. I just wanted to call and see if you could bring that coffee maker to me, since it's been a few months. So, give me a call back. Thanks!"

I get no response.

I call back another time, a month later, and leave another message.

No response. Again.

I wonder if she's dead?

Finally, I call again, a month or so later. Leave another message.

Once again, no returned call. "This is a small campus," I think to myself.
Maybe she's been abducted my aliens.

Okay, so now it's January, and she still has my coffee maker. It's been 8 months since she's borrowed it--this is ridiculous. I saw her, so I know the alien thing didn't happen. I decide to just go over to her room.

::Knock, Knock:: "Come in!"

I go in, and the nightmare I've been dreading has finally come true. The coffee maker is in her car, she informs me. Then proceeds to talk about her "asshole boyfriend" for the next 40 minutes, not bothering to wonder whether or not I even care.

Once this charade is over, we walk down to her car, where she pulls the very (now) beaten up coffee maker out of the trunk. "Oops," she says when we both see that for the past 6 months she has left the last filter she used along with the grinds of coffee from her final pot in the coffee maker. "I'm sorry," she nervously giggles.

Sorry???? I put the coffee maker on my hip and walk to my car. YEAH...I'M SORRY TOO!!!!!!

Lesson: Don't let ______ borrow any of your stuff!

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