Changes in life are imperative in order for us to achieve harmony. Many of these changes are involuntary as the Tarot Card "Death" represents. Many changes are voluntary as the Tarot Card "Moon" represents. All being different, each is important to growth.
Like others in life, I have undergone many changes and unfortunately they were due to decisions that I made in life. We each have 2 paths in life we can follow...the one destined and the alternate path. Unfortunately mine was the alternate path. It has cost me much more than I wished to give up and more pain than I care to remember. It cost me the most important thing in my life and honestly I can say that the void I currently have will never ever be filled. But in truth, that is a void I will never want filled again. It is my purgatory and my hell that I put myself in and I deserve the punishment I receive.
At the same time though, this pain and torment I live with daily as I see myself in the mirror changed me. I have always been a spiritual person and forever sought enlightenment. This change forced me to look deep within myself whereas I finally freed myself so that I would be able to seek the truths in life. As Paul said in the N.T., we all have our thorns to live with and as we all do, I will forever have mine.
For those that are confused by my statement concerning Paul, yes I do believe in G_D..The almighty creator of life and divinity. Too many of us feel that we have to disbelieve in all that we were taught to set ourselves free. Nothing could be further from the truth. I have searched long and hard for truths and answers and I have found, as Israel Regardie and Aleister Crowley alleged to, that the truth lies within us all. We are all stars.
All that matters in my life now is the accomplishment of the Great Work. Knowledge and Conversation with My Holy Guardian Angel. Does this make me evil?
I will leave you with a quote from "Liber LXV."
So also the light that is absorbed. One absorbs little and is called white and glistening; one absorbs all and is called black.
Therefore, O my darling, art thou black.
O my beautiful, I have likened thee to a jet Nubian slave, a boy of melancholy eyes.
O the filthy one! the dog! they cry against thee.
Because thou art my beloved.
Happy are they that praise thee; for they see thee with Mine eyes.
Love is the law, love under Will.
