Background information: Girl's name is Athena, nicknamed Lala; she is 17 years old; her best friend is Shauntae', short, Tae; her boyfriend is Carlos, who is in college along with Tae. She attends Daytona Comprehensive High School, in Florida. *All characters n places r made up, thanku*
The Diary of a Teenage Girl
08/19/01 Dear Diary,
Hey it b me 1 mo gain! Finally yo! SENIOR YEAR! I'm bouncin OUTTA High School!! No mo jokazz trippn out on me, just freedom n COLLEGE, full of unchartered boys- mah fault, MEN- that I have da chance 2 explore! Damn I can't wait til dis year b ova wit!
NEwayz, I'm just updatin u on mah life... mah bad, I ain't really get a chance 2 write n u alot dis summer! SORRY! Me n mah dawgz just been explorin da world on dem lil helltrips ppl call road trips... but they was fun! Me n Shauntae' got tyght all ova again, which is str8, considerin she IS mah nigga 4 life!
We went n visited Jermaine up n New York, mah New York honey, IF u member! N Shauntae' MADE me go wit her 2 C HER NY sweetie Marques, who I had neva met. I gotz 2 give her da propz, he was kinda smooth. But on da low low, while Tae was owtt chyllin wit his momma, he tried 2 get wit dis... I ain't sho if I should tell her or not... I guess all dem dreams she had bout me n him hookin up were ALMOST close 2 da truth. Don't worry, I turned him down o course! Like I would EVA play mah baby Carlos! U crazy!
Yo but we had us some fun, gettin lost all ova da states, visitin all our partnaz who moved. But I gotz 2 admit, mah favorite person we visited waz James... yo I neva realized how much I missed his fine mug! Pity he moved all da way 2 ATL... but DEN AGAIN, if he HADN'T moved, I'da neva hooked it up wit mah Carlos.
Hmmm, where else did we go? Oh yeah, we kicked it n New Orleans... not dat we KNEW Ne one down there, we just had 2 go No Limit! N we stayed a few dayz up there n Virginia, wit Tae's partna Charmaine. She seem AIGHT.
I guess there ain't much else 2 tell u bout. 2morrow we headin baq 2 skool... 2 bad yo... I was kinda gettn used 2 chyllin n mah Mustang all day. Ya think she'll miss me?
On da real, I'm cheq it baq wit u lataz!
~~OwwwTTT~~
09/13/01
Dear Diary,
Whu b up? Senior baby gyrl just chyllin here yo! Yo I been so busy playn up mah role as ToP DawG dat I can't even much write no mo! But itz chyll now!
Aight, cheq dis, 1st, baq-ground info: Shauntae' been mah best friend 4 how long it b now? AT least 6 yearz, right? Aight, all dis time, SHE b da one telln me dat she would neva intentionally hurt me, she got mah baq 4 life, we tru nigaz 4 life... all dis shit. I found out dat her stank hoe ass been tryn gett close 2 mah, read da word: MAH, Carlos. Word iz dat she got a few classes wit mah baby at da university... aight, so I'm like, aight, str8, koo, now yall can b tyght instead of alwayz fussn at each otha. Sounds generous, right? O course! Next thang I kno, Tae blowin me off, talkn some, she think we need 2 b tyght wit OTHA pplz. Aight, so, 1st, o course, I'm talkn all dis ish, like, what da fuck? But den I realize, dis can't b 2 bad!
So I'm chyllin wit mah otha roll dawgs right, at dis party, N guess WHO blow n all drunk n high? Tae! *N she used 2 b da one 2 lecture me bout dat stuff!* So, tryn b all nice n junk, I take her n da baq, cuz u Kno she actin a fool. Den when she realizes who I b, she start talkn all dis shit bout how she was just wit Carlos, how all fine he b, how he b givin dat bomb-lovin. Str8 UP I went OFF on her... cussin her out like da dog she b.
Now on da real Diary, she was lying like a fool... not even 15 minutes b4 I had gotten a page from him, n I called him at his grandma house 3 hours away from here! N she talkn dis shit...dawg whu eva! Lala don't play dat!
NEwayz, baq 2 me n Tae... while I was talkn all dis ish 2 her, she musta been 2 dumbfounded or somethang cuz she just sat there, lookin a slut n dat tyght-ass mini-skirt wit a belly shirt. Finally, when I paused 2 take a breath, she cheqed it baq... talkn dis mess bout how I know, dat I can't even keep a man, n all dis otha ish.
Well Diary, u know me, I swung da first punch, knockin her upside da jaw, upside da head, justa swingin, swingin, I was 2 pissed. N she ain't even put up a good comebaq, swingin these lame ass excuses 4 physical contact. Finally, I just stopped, more outta pity den tiredness... cheq dis Diary, she was CRYN... oh well.
Later dat night, when I got a chance, I called Carlos baq, tryn find out what da fuck was goin on. Cussin n stuff, I demanded to kno if he was playn me wit mah X-best friend. Now on da real, I don't kno 4 sure y I believe him, but he told me dat truthfully, he ain't neva thought bout playn me, neva would. N he said dat da only reason he became tyght wit Tae was b-cuz I was always complainin bout how dey argue 2 much, n dat he wanted 2 make me happy. Nigga b 2 sweet sometime, on da real. He offered 2 leave his grandma house dat night n come baq so we could talk, but o course I told him it wasn't a deal.
Damn Diary, I wrote alot, didn't I? NEwayz, I'm wonderin if I'ma miss mah "Nigga 4life" Tae... hmmmm nawww I don't think so!
Meanwhile, Senior Year is becomin 2 tyght... just like I knew it would b!
MAh fault, I gotta go bounce, da doorbell just rang... I betcha it b mah honey Carlos. ~~OwwTT~~
10/24/01
Dear Diary,
Yea I decided 2 take ya wit me while I babysit... I ain't got nuffin bettaz 2 do NEwayz. Besides, I gotz 2 update ya!
Well, cheq dis, u kno how me n Shauntae' had dat lil ugly mess up at dat party? Well, if dis wazn't a surprise, she herself called ME n actually APOLOGIZED. She said dat she "would like us 2 b koo again". Bein all compassionate n junk, I told her I had 2 think out it... I've been thinkn bout it 4 exactly 6 dayz. Who knows?
Oooppz, gotta bounce! Da kidz is eyein a blank wall wit a set of paints. ~~0wwwttt~~
11/03/01
Dear Diary,
Well it b me one mo time yo! Just 2 let u kno, me n Tae is tryn rebuild our budship, much 2 Carlos' disapproval. He sayz that she ain't nuffin but a baq-stabbin ho, *not dat I can really disagree wit him* but I told him dat she been wit me 4eva, n I can't just let it end like... even tho I WAZ kinda pissed dat nite, wazn't I? :) I found out wut waz makin her akt all funny, so dat can make up 4 it I guess... except nuffin really can make up 4 dat scar she gon have on her arm where I sliced her.
NEWAYZ, thang is, Shauntae' got a problem... not just sum attitude problem... a physikal problem. UNbelievably, Tae is n rehab right now... her parentz found out bout her smokin n drinkn, n they put her n there. I alwayz thot she could handle it, but now datz all she can think bout... weed tequila blunts puerto rican rum, etc. etc. Datz whu made her krazy...
N I'm feeln kinda guilty, cuz it waz me n Carlos who started all dat ish, but we stopped! But by den, Tae was 2 far gone! N when I decided 2 stop hookin her up wit da jankz, she got mad @ me. Datz when she pulled her lil stunt, tryn get all tight wit Carlos, since he got dem connectionz.
Str8 up Diary, I dunno if me n Tae can b as tight again. She really messed up yo... but I guess I can't say I'm blameless...
OOpppzz, gotta bounce... I'm gon 2 go pick up Nallie so we can go visit Tae.
~~PeaCe
11/13/01
Dear Diary,
Wit all da fuss wit Tae', I 4got 2 mention dat Homecoming is comin up! O course, yourz truly gon run 4 Queen! YA think I"ma win? Unfortunately, Carlos won't b able 2 kum... datz really bummin me, but he sayz I can take someone else w/o a deal. But I don't waaaaannnnnnaaaaa take somebody else! I want mah baby wit me! Aight, Aight Diary, I'm thru wit mah whiny phase, I'ma akt like a mature young lady.
I kno u wonderin bout Tae, well she owttta rehab... I'm tryn stay clean when I'm wit her, n Carlos just ain't hangin wit her at all... I told him it would lead 2 "problemz". *just n case she go krazy n think she can take him again* She baq n skool now, n me n her b hangin when we get a chance. So I'd say dat everythangz baq 2 normal now... just no late-nite chyllin on da street korna no mo. Aight den.~~
11/24/01
Dear Diary,
Well, unfortunately 4 me, I did not win da race 4 Queen. Naww, Pertrice had 2 win, da slut. She da only person at Daytona dat I cannot STAND! N she just happenz 2 b paired wit Zyshonne, da finest boy there! I was gonna ask him 2 go wit me 2 da dance, but nawww, Pertrice had 2 get 2 him first! Damn Damn Damn... well, it ain't like I woulda really asked him, he intimidate me 2 much, wit his fineness.
Y I can't just go up 2 a boy n start talkn, like I do wit mah friendz??
Y I gotta b all shy n stuff sometimez? Y I can't b koo all da time, like Tae or Marz or Nallie? Damn I can't stand when mah confidence b shakin n stuff. Well, at least I don't gotta feel lonely or wahteva... I still got mah baby Carlos. Awwwwww, but dat ain't even workin 2 good right now. He startn 2 akt funny, like he don't trust me or somethang. He b aktn all suspicious n junk, like I'm playn him. I asked him bout it yesta-day n he talkn some, he just stressed out, it ain't nuffin. "Well honey, " I told him, "if u gon b all stressed out n make ME feel guilty bout it, den may-B u should take yo stress some where else." N he in't even much SAY nuffin 2 dat!! Usually, he woulda came baq wit at least Somethang, but not yesta-day. Yo Diary, whatz happenin 2 mah happy BIG DAWG life?
12/01/01
Dear Diary,
Boredom, Boredom, Boredom! Whut happened 2 all da crunk times I was havin? Well, I COULD b @ dis party, but I kno Carlos gon b there wit his ho. Yeah, I neva got a chance 2 tell ya, me n Carlos broke up.
Actually, I broke up wit him... he was actin 2 funny 4 me. But I miss him ALOT Diary. N cheq dis, Tae told me she spotted him @ da mall wit sum chick dat go 2 Daytona... Pertrice, dat HO!! Ughhhh, dat ain't fair! Y he out paradin round when I broke up wit him, n I'M @ home, be-n all depressed?!! It don't make no sense!!! Da hell, I'm owttt.
12/06/01
Dear Diary,
Damnn, thangz ain't been 2 pretty round here yo! At least it ain't been borin, tho, right? On Saturday, right afta I got thru writin n u, Tae called me. She told me 2 put on mah clothes n com ova there n pick her up * she like ridin n mah Mustang* Knowin betta than 2 try n stop Tae when she fired up, I just went ahead n did it. *she scare me sometimes, but shhhh*
We ended up where dat party was, da one I mentioned 2 u. At first, I ain't wanna go- Tae had 2 literally DRAG me outta da car.. Finally I agreed 2 go n side 2 C sum of mah friendz, but at da first sign of Carlos, I was leavin. She agreed, wit a twinkle n her eye, which I noticed n questioned her bout it. OF course, she denied NE thang, but all I figa-ed I could do waz wait it out.
At first, everythan waz str8... I waz dancin wit sum of mah friendz, n wheneva a slow dance came up, I had mah dawg Virtuoso *funny name but he 2 sweet* wit me... he cute, ya kno what I'm sayn? So, Im havin a lil bit of fun, glad I ain't seen Carlos, thinkn dumbly dat he mighta not kum. O course, I waz wrong!
Outta da korna of mah eye, I spotted Carlos arguin wit Tae. Mah first thot waz 2 bounce owtt, but den I decided dat I couldn't just leave mah partna there. So, afta apologizin 2 Virtuoso *ain't I so nice? :)* I went ova there 2 Tae n Carlos. Imagine mah surprise when I notice Pertrice wit her *slimy, octopus-like* armz round Carlos. When she spotted me, she started huggin all up on him, n like da fool he b, he shut up wit Tae n started kissn on dat whore. On da real, mah jaw dropped... I couldn't BELIEVE he would do dat n front of otha pplz! He neva did dat wit ME wheneva we waz out!
By this time, he still hadn't seen me, even tho I waz right behind Shauntae'. *How could he, wit his tongue halfway down dat bitch's throat?* Tae hadn't seen me eithaz, she waz still talkn her trash 2 him, so quick-decision I turned mah ass round n went n 1 of da baq rooms, tearz n mah eyez. I waz str8 up 2 shocked at whut I had just witnessed.
Afta dat, Tae found me n we left, me castin a baq-ward glance at da hoe who had showed me up twice. Noticin mah look directed at her, she just slid her arms round Carlos n pulled him closa, smirkin. Damn dat ho, if itz mah last akt of revenge, I'ma get dat bitch.
N here I am Diary, desperately pissed off yet still depressed. But mo pissed den sad. I promise u Diary, I will get mah revenge on dat ho. ~Aight den~
12/14/01
Dear Diary,
A, yeah, I'm just lettn ya kno bout Tae'z party yesta-day... it waz her birthday, so I threw her a fest yo! I invited dis 1 boy she like alot, his name Justin... I'd say they got kinda tight, considerin by da end of da nite, dey waz tonguein... N public 2!!
Meanwhile, I'm still by mah self. I don't b C-n carlos dat much, but when I do, I alwayz say whuzzup. Even tho we ain't really talkn, I can still b civil 2 him, even tho underneath I just wanna tackle him n kiss him all ova. *Sigh*
Diary, I'm owwtt... still tired of all dat partyin yesta-day. ~~OwT~ 12/21/01
Dear Diary,
Well Diary, Lala n Tae strike 1 mo gain! Dis waz da bestest Christmas Gift I coulda got! Oohh u shoulda been there!! Wait, lemme tell u whu happened 1st.
Afta a whole bunch of brainstormin, I finally figa-ed whut 2 do. O course, bein da slut she b, I knew she waz playn Carlos. Ain't take a lot 2 figa dat out since I alwayz C her @ parties kissn n huggn up on different boyz all da time. So I got sum of her friendz 2 spill bout who she hooked up wit recently, *promisin de dat I wouldn't reveal sum shady secretz I knew bout em* Dey gave me a LIST of 20+ boyz! Sum waz from daytona, othaz from da university, othaz were grown men! Damnn, u must b thinkn!
NEwayz, Tae threw a party 4 our friendz,n we invited all of Pertrice'z niggaz, includin Carlos. Den Tae invited her 2- she like 2 b str8 wit everybody, so Pertrice had no way 2 suspect nuffin. We also invited alot of dem poplar, loud-mouth, can't-keep-a-secret-chicks, just 2 spice up da party a lil bit.
About a few hours N2 da nite, Tae got up wit a microphone, talkn sum, she think we need 2 give da Queen a dance wit her honey, just 2 celebrate skool spirit. Well, everybody waz down wit dat, EXCEPt o course, Pertrice. She waz tryn think of all these excuses, but we pushed her out n da open space... den Tae called out 4 her escort. Bout 25 different guyz jumped out n2 da circle, lookin all smug til dey seen each otha! It waz 2 2 2 funny! Everybody started questionin whut waz up, til Shauntae' got up wit dat mic again n told EVERYBODY whu a slut n playette she waz! Well den EVERYBODY got rowdy, but especially dem boyz/menz. They all started 2 close n on her, talkn bout how she made a foo outta dem, all except Carlos n Zyshonne. Dey just left, not even a baq-ward glance.
If she wazn't such a ho, I'd feel kinda sorry 4 Pertrice. All dem loud-mouth chickz spread da dirt on Monday @ skool, now NO guy wantz 2 talk 2 her. Hmmmm, 2 bad tho, right? :)
Yup yup, mah week been 2 good, wit Lil Miss Slut put baq n her place! ~Owwttt~ 12/28/01
Dear Diary,
Itz Lala Again! 3 mo dayz til da New Year, graduatin year of 2002!! Aight, Aight, I'm chyll now. Unfortunately 4 me, thangz ain't been all dat tight no mo. I still haven't resolved thangz wit Carlos... I still don't kno whu it waz dat waz makin him act all funny. I just wish I had a clue 2 whu he waz thinkn. Oh well, itz not dat biga deal.
WELL, ACTUALLY, I'm lyin like no otha. Dat waz mah baby! I still love him 2 bitz! Whu I wouldn't give 2 have his arms round me again. Ahhh, well, I guess it b time 4 me 2 get ova him by now, right?
I 4got 2 mention, Christmas waz tight as usual... mah parentz got me sum clothes, a new stereo system, n sum otha stuff. I also got sum fog litez on mah car, n mah name painted across da front of da windshield. Mah Mustang gettn hooked up yo!
Me n Tae have been spendin mo time 2getha, n talkn mo on da phone... kinda like da old dayz. I feel like I can trust her again, which is good. Me n her n sum mo of our friendz r goin 2 dis party on New Year'z Eve... itz gon b tight, just da girlz hangin 2getha. None of us have boyfriendz right now, -EXCEPT Tae but she said she'll hang wit us first- *SIGH* so it'll b fun.
OH yeahh, I 4got 2 mention, I got dis mysterious gift, a real pretty sweater, mah favorite color blue, n a dozen roses wit sum chocolates. I don't kno who sent it, but right now I'm not really caring... I mentioned it 2 Tae n she said dat da gift might b from Carlos... nawwww I don't think so. Dat ain't really his steelo. So I'm not really thinkn bout it. Last thang I need right now is 2 get hooked up wit sum 1 I don't even much kno! ~Lataz~
01/02/02
Dear Diary,
Happy New Year yo!! Mah nite n2 da New Year waz NOT whu I expected! Member when I told u dat it waz gon b just us gyrlz chyllin @ a party? Well, we went there just us gyrls, I can say dat! But as soon as mah partnaz spotted dem sum potentialz,dey bounced, leavin lil ol me 2 face da crowd all by mah self... fortunately da ppl who waz havin da party wouldn't kno Carlos, so I didn't hafta worry bout dat.
Too bad 4 me dat trouble alwayz seem 2 follow me... I waz up there dancin wit dis 1 nigga I had met, his name waz David. Yo Diary, I'm losin mah talented gift of bein able 2 judge whu kinda boy I'm wit... I would swear up n down dat he waz a lil safe pretty boy, but nawww, I waz 2 wrong! Joka started tonguein me, tryn get all up n mah shirt n stuff, in front of EVERYbody yo! But bein New Yearz, ain't nobody waz payn attention 2 us, soI guess he thot he waz safe. Naww, not wit me.
At first I told him 2 baq up, dat I wazn't str8 wit dat... nigga ACTUALLY tried ignorin me, HeLL naw, den he pulled me n da baq room, bein stupid n thinkn I'ma give it up 4 him... jaka bein 2 stupid, ya kno? So bein mah *sweet* self, I told him eitha 2 baq up or get sliced... n I pulled mah blade owttt. Joka just glanced vaguely @ mah blade, n pulled owwttt a 9.
Nigga told me dat he would get whu waz his... o course, dat just pissed me off even mo... joka gon tell ME dat mah stuff waz HIS? oohhhhh noo, so I took a swing @ his jaw while he was tryn 2 unzip his pantz, knockin him owwttt...
Diary, I waz soo scared when I realized whu I had just done! I ran outta there, crashin n2 ppl all ova da place. Finally, I ran n2 Virtuoso, n told him everythan, since I trust him. He got all mad, nostrilz all flamin n hiz eyebrowz all furrowed... he took mah blade n went baq n there, draggin me wit him. David was still knocked out, so Virtuoso took his opportunity. He sliced n HELL NAW on his arm where everybody could C it. N he stole his pantz, throw-n em away n da trash, so dat pretty-boy would hafta walk round n his ugly heart boxerz.
Diary, V is str8 crazyyyy! I can't believe he did dat, just 2 get baq @ him 4 me. * I can't believe I didn't think of dat mah self!*
NEwayz, by dis time, it waz just a few minutez b4 midnight, so I decided 2 wait until afta da ball dropped b4 I left 4 home. I was hangin on2 V like no otha, scared David would kum baq. He told me dat nuffin would happen 2 me as long as I stayed wit him. Ooohh Diary, u shoulda seen da way he waz lookin @ me when he said dat, all compassionate but still strong.
NEwayz, when da ball dropped, me n V kissed, n I gotz 2 tell u, it waz an excremely good kiss. I think da only reason da kiss waz 2 good iz b cuz I was imaginin I was wit Carlos. Ohh but cheq dis, as soon as I came up 4 air, I looked rounda room, not wantin 2 look at V... when I seen Carlos, lookin dead @ me. His look waz blank, but still, I could feel somethin wit it.
Diary, whu have I done???
I'm 2 dense... *big Sigh* ~owwtttt 01/15/02
Dear Diary,
Yea I got sum chance 2 chyll wit u a lil bit. When I told Tae whu happened @ dat New Yearz party, she got all loud wit me... she thinkz it waz mah fault. She said I shoulda knew betta... whu-eva... is it MAH fault dat da boy fooled me?
I think she worried bout me... bout Carlos I mean. I got pissed @ dat. "Look Shauntae'," I told her, "I kno me n u tight n all, but I think u should worry bout yo own lil love life. I'm ova Carlos, aight?" O course, I waz lyin like a mug. But only u kno dat... she argued wit me 4 a while, but kno-n I don't give up, she left it alone. Smart gyrl, 4 once. 02/11/02
Dear Diary,
Damn, 4 da first time n mah life, it look like I'ma have a Valentine... even tho it ain't gon b some1 I want. Virtuoso been calln me lately, talkn bout how much he like me, n all dis ish. He said I'm da best kisser he eva had, even tho we only had dat 1 kiss @ dat party. Personally, I think he a lil 2 whipped 4 me. I don't want no whipped cream, I want da hard chocolate. Aww boo.
Slowly but on da real, I been gettn baq n2 da datin scene now... I'm talkn wit dis 1 boy name... hmmm I 4got his real name, but I call him Teddy Bear. He b real sweet sometimez. I ain't leadin on V, if datz whu U thinkn. It just happen 2 b like dat... Tae think I'm turnin n2 a playette. She sayz dat if I don't watch mah step, I'ma end up like Pertrice. BUT V kno bout Teddy Bear, n he understand, sorta. He sayz he still gon b mah Valentine. Oh booo. ~OwwTT~ 03/15/02
Dear Diary,
3 mo monthz left til skool out! Yo, I neva did tell y about V-Day, did I? Well, it wazn't nuffin really... V showed out by gettn me 8lbs of chocolate n a giant teddy bear n roses. But cheq dis, SOMEBODY sent me a dozen roses, a cute puppy dog, a red-hot valentine outfit, n sum white chocolate, mah favorite. I'm guessn it b da same person who sent me dat stuff at Xmas... hmmmmmm now I'm startn get curious... I wonder who it could b!
*Sorry I ain't write bout dis earlier, I been busy... Top Dawgz got junkz 2 do!* 04/18/02
Dear Diary,
Sorry I ain't write mo often... I just got baq from mah spring break... me n a few friendz went up north 2 visit dem ski slopes. It waz tight as a mug. And n a few weekz, we goin on our Senior Trip! We gon on a cruise 2 da Bahamaz! Itz gon b 2 crunk! I wish Tae could kum, but as u kno, she up n da HIGHER grade den me. BEsidez, I need sum-body 2 take care of mah Mustang 4 me... I can't trust mah parentz wit her, dey would just drive da hell outta her!
Hmmmmmmm, did I eva tell ya bout mah lil fling wit Zyshonne? Ya member him, right? He b lookn 2 good, so I finally got up da courage 2 talk 2 him. Me n him went 2getha 4 bout 3 or 4 weekz, den we both decided it would b betta just 2 chyll every now n den. Hell, @ least I got ova mah fear of bein shot down, ya kno? Itz str8 now... I'm livin da single life now, but itz actually koo... at first, I resented it, but I'm gettn used 2 not havin a lil crush, or wantn Carlos but not bein able 2 get him baq. I'm koo now, content u could say. :) ~Peace~ 05/07/02
Dear Diary,
Cheq dis out: I am da Class of 2002 Valedictorian!! ME! Can u believe it? It is such a rush 2 kno dat all dat work n studyn actually paid off! I'm 2 psyched! Str8 up hyped! Mah momma so proud of me, u shoulda seen her face when I told her... n mah daddy actually turned off his TV 2 listen 2 me n congratulate me! I'm feeln so good dat I called everybody n mah phone book, which is ALOT. I even called Carlos, cuz he knew it was mah dream... he sounded so proud of me. He said dat he would hafta take me out 4 dis, all paid by him. I'm happy me n him r on speakin terms again... we b talkn bout 2 timez a week.
NEwayz, I got so many pplz proud of me, n itz makin me feel so good. Like, so many pplz care bout me, usually I b doubtin dat much, but I'm feeln so good! But I'm a lil bit worried now... I gotta speak in front of a whole lotta pplz on Graduation Day. I hope nuffin terrible happenz! Whu if i trip, walkn onto da stage? Whu if everybody hate mah speech? Whu if I get booed off da stage?
*DEEP breath* Aight, I'm koo now... I'll do fine, right? Right? Right. 05/27/02
Dear Diary,
Oohhh, Diary I am sooo scared. N a few hours, I'll b graduatin from Daytona High. Can u believe it? Damn, it feel just like yesta-day when I first walked n2 dat skool, grippn mah bookz, scared 2 death n utterly lost. Dangg how timez change. Now I'm bout grown up, ready 2 leave da only place datz eva been comfortin 2 me *besidez mah car n room.*
Damn, I'm 2 scared... not really 4 2nite, but 4 da future. I got no clue waz gon happen, if I'm even gonna b da center of it like I like 2 b. I'm leavin high skool. I'm leavin mah best friend, Shauntae'. Did I tell ya dat I got a scholarship up north? NewYork b calln out 2 me. So many changez I haven't told u bout. Mah fault!
Well, I'm leavin Florida n early August, AFTA me, Tae, her boyfriend Maurcus, n Carlos spend sum time 2getha on da road. We gon try n go all da way 2 Kali.
Me n Carlos baq 2getha... I can't even member y I broke up wit him... but I str8 up member da loneliness I felt wit owtt him. Turnz out he waz da 1 who sent me all dat stuff, just secretly. Fortunately 4 me, he got his dream scholarship 2 New York 2, dat waz where he wanted 2 go n da first place. So me n him gon still b 2getha... 4eva I believe. He gave me an engagement ring, n our parentz already kno. We won't get married until afta mah freshman year up there tho. I'll have enuff stress!
Shauntae' will stay here n Florida... she says she gotta b near everythang she luv. "Except me," I had replied. Me n her will stay tight 4eva I think. I couldn't eva replace her, even tho she b trippn sometimez. I learned dat all da ish we went thru just provez 2 me she da bomb.
I'm really leavin Florida- home -Diary... itz so scary, but I kno I can make it, wit da help of God. Well Diary, lemme go so I can go get ready 4 mah graduation. Wish me luck yo!
~*4eva luv*Peace Owwttt~