It happens all the time. You never think about it, until it is too late. The regrets hit you like a punch to the gut. You realize the loss and would do anything to get it back. And the pain is unbearable. At night, when you are all by yourself, it’s all you can think about. It is the death of someone you truly love.
When you first learn of it, there is so much shock. You keep expecting someone to tell you it is all a joke. For that person who “supposedly” died to come up to you and tell you it was a test. A test to see how much you cared. A test that you absolutely hated, but are relieved that it is over. But you soon realize it isn’t a test. Someone you really loved is gone forever.
Whether it be a friend, family member, or someone you vaguely knew, there still are tears. Especially if there are regrets. Thoughts of all the times you hurt them, or was mean to them, they come rushing back, clouding out the good times. Until you are convinced you are the worst person in the world. Forgetting all the times you helped them, or was the only person they could turn to. Eventually, the guilty feelings go away. But still left is an emptiness. Even though you have so many things, Because that ONE person is gone, it feels like you have nothing left.
During this entire period, which could be a matter of days, or years, You are talking to and trying to get comfort from your friends. But if they have not gone through the same thing, There’s nothing they can do. Finally, out of frustration, you push them all away, claiming you can deal by yourself. And it does help, for a little while. But, of course, you go back to their attempts at comfort. Next, comes the acceptance of your loved one’s death. You realize there’s nothing you can do to make things better besides accept it and live with it. Gradually, you can get through the day without becoming depressed. Eventually, the tears stop flowing.
And then you realize, you could never want your loved one to come back to this world, A world full of hatred and violence and pain. And if you’re one of those rare people who have nothing but love in their hearts, You ask God each day to bless your loved one in heaven. And hope you can join them soon.
But if you are like the rest of the fast-paced world, you eventually forget. The only days you remember is when your heart is full of memories and love.