Everyday I give thanks to God * I have two mounds upon my bod * I shave my legs, I sit down to pee * I can justify any shopping spree * Not to a barber, but a beauty salon * Can get a massage without a hard on
Can balance the checkbook, pump my own gas * Can talk to my friends about the size of my ass * I always save money by using coupons * Can admit to others when I am wrong * Don't drive in circles at any cost * Don't act like I'm in a timed marathon * Every time I go to the john
Let me tell you men * Listen to me boys * Those things in your pants * That you treat as toys * You love them more then we ever will * We would rather suck on a cold pickled dill ;Þ
I spend two hours preparing for a date * Only to find you're two hours late * I don't watch movies with lots of gore * Don't need instant replay to remember the score
I won't lose my hair * I don't get jock itch * And just cause I'm assertive * Don't call me a bitch ;)
I don't wear the same underwear everyday * The food in my fridge has no sign of decay * I don't go to Sears * To look at the tools * I don't cheat at poker * I follow the rules
I don't read magazines about cars * Don't pay for drinks at bars * I don't punch my friends just to say "Hi" * And it's o.k. for me to cry :)
I know all you men * Think that you're "IT" * But compared to a woman * You just ain't shit! :p
DiS aIn'Y mY woRk, k?
