Texas Joe's

Park in the parking lot in the rear of the buildings on the next street. You are not lost. The largest building has a cartoon of a man in a tux, top hat, spats and cane under the letters "YMC." Beneath the cartoon, a light guided will guide you to the back door.

Inside you will find stairs leading down with a sandwich board proclaiming "Texas Jim's" and pictures indicating stripping goes on down below. Straight ahead is a door indicating YMC with a ticket window nearby. Next to the ticket window is some stairs going up hiding behind the door you came in. There is also a sign for "Celsa's" which is upstairs.

Bruce and I went to Texas Joe's because we were both without girlfriends (Mine left me and Bruce's was fighting with him), Bruce wanted to go drinking and Bruce preferred to go somewhere without women. There were women at TJs, of course, but because most of them were strippers there were never many single women there. Bruce was a babe magnet. A JC football player and triathlete he was muscular everwhere and women were drawn to him. He would have been unstoppable except he was short, only 5'7".

Texas Joe's was neither in Texas nor from Texas nor even Joe's. Pat's Grandfather, Joe, was from Louisianna and had run a roadhous on the way to the Texas Border during the 30's and 40's. Old Joe had beautiful women on roller skates serving motorists at a Drive-In. Three of those carhops made it into movies and Pat played videos of their movies before the live entertainment started at 8PM.

Texas Joe's was in the basement. When you got to the bottom landing you could see what appeared to be an acre of space filled with people with the bar in the very center surrounded by patrons. The bar served all the popular drinks - sob, black and white, pouse café etc. Above each end of the bar was a cage with a dancer in a bikini or sometimes lingerie, dancing to music played by the DJ of TJ. Each cage had a separate video camera sending the picture to giant TVs all around so patrons didn't have to turn to look at a live girl. There were six girl's changing places regularly. They were there from 8 to closing except when the strippers were performing.

My two favorites were dancing now, Rose Marie Ford, who was the bustiest of the go-gos, wore a crop top over electric blue hot pants and Rebecca Parker who was in a silver lame full body suit that was like a second skin. I ordered a beer to cool off.

You might think I know the staff at TJs pretty well and I do. I live a short 5 blocks away where I condo sit. I also am a self-emplyed salesman without an office. I spend my day in customers' offices or in hotel lobbies where I can use my lap top and cell phone for business. My business card has no address, only a Post Offcie Box, cell phone #, fax which is forwarded to my email and into my computer. There is absolutely nothing personal on the card. Even my company name is a front, the Sincere Tool Co. Only my name was real. If I had a gyroplane instead of a car I would be a man of the 21st century.

I didn't have much of a private life though. I normally took clients to breakfast and lunch as well as dinner about 3 times per week. I always ended my work day at TJs to meet them or just relax. I worked most evenings and at least 2 weekend days per month on paper work and was up before dawn to call the East Coast.

The stage was in the corner against the wall at the far end of the bar. In the other corner was a dance floor. Women usually come in groups. Often they found an excuse such as a going away party at the office to see what went on. I had passed a table with nearly a dozen women ranging in age from maybe 20 to 35. They looked like an office party.

In the main bar cocktail waitresses wore black pinstripe hot pants or miniskirts with whatever color men's style shirts and suspenders they chose. I ordered an Anchor Steam Beer and went into the CyberBar It was quieter and decorated very futuristically.

Aurora watched over the computers. You had to pay for computer time, internet access, copies, faxes, printing and scanning. Software was included including popular computer games. It was a bargain considering it gave you an office away from home. Give Aurora your credit card and she would have someone bring drinks while you worked on the computer or, if you wanted, sat and watched the TV screens. Aurora was blonde, tall and well built with a small, pouty mouth and she was wearing mattress ticking, light blue gray with dark blue pin stripes. It turns out mattress ticking is transparent when it is stretched as tightly as this was. It reminded me of my grandfather's story that a mistress was somewhere between a mister and a mattress.

They were busy with businessmen checking their emails, which is what I did. After I finished I looked up information on buying a VCR then went into the main bar to watch the stripper.

The first was a black girl, Candace Pleasant. Her name was reminescent of Mother Pleasant of San Francisco's famous madam during the gold rush, Mother Pleasant. If there was a relationship it was not in profession as far as anyone here knew. She was wearing a chocolate brown bare midriff top matched so closely to her skin in color and fit she looked from a distance to be nude. A purple, velvet, ankle length skirt completed her outfit.

Candace was tall, slender and beautiful with long legs, shoulder length black hair in tiny braids, narrow hips ands a nice butt. She had no extra fat on her at all. It was obvious she enjoys being watched from the proud way she strutted and the big smile she gave the audience.

Each dancer prepared their own tapes for their routine. Candace's was a Carribean beat and she really moved to it. Her dance involved body movements that would be obscene if there was a real man dancing with her.

The strippers were not allowed to touch or be touched so the men could not put money in their g-strings. TJs sold imitation leather strips about 10 inches long and 3 inches wide embossed with the TJ logo. Yellow cost 1, red cost 5 and blue cost 10. A lot of men thought they were good souvenirs so not all of them were cashed in. Those that weren't were converted to cash and the money divided among the waitresses. That gave the Waitresses incentive to sell them to customers.

Her clothing was fastened with a quick release. The top was teasingly removed then the long skirt leaving her in bra and panties that were pale blue with pink lace trim, sheer black hose and one red garter.

She strutted her stuff. She paraded around the stage flirting with any man whose eye she could catch.

Finally she brought over a bent wood chair with cane seat and set it, with its back to one side, in front of some men who had their leather on the edge of the stage. Candace put leg on the chair seat, removed the garter slowly and tossed it to the crowd. Whoever caught it could turn it in for a drink but none ever were. The garters had the TJ logo and the girl's first name on them.

She flirted with the men in the front, pursing her lips to be ready for a kiss even though they could not reach her. She ran her hands over parts of her body, closing her eyes and dreaming. Then she walked to each side of the stage until she was by the curtain. She turned to face the audience, slipped one bra strap off her shoulder and scurried off stage

In the spirit that a man should not have a pretty girl to look at, two Go-Go Dancers came out after Candace left. Aeva May was in a White bikini with Red flames coming from below, apparently something was on fire Aeva sings with a crystal clear soprano voice. I think she should sing Opera but apparently the Met disagrees. TJ allows her to sing to songs if she wants to. You can hear her everywher without a microphone. Jo Gibb, wearing a yellow and green bikini top over kelly green micro mini could sing also but wasn't allowed to.

I walked through the CyberBar into the Lounge which was very quiet. Wendy, a brunette who was also well built and was in a black floor-length skirt slit up the side to show her legs no matter how she stood and a white satin blouse unbuttoned enough to show part of her royal blue push up bra.

The Lounge was quiet, a place where people could come to relax and talk away from the noise. Right now there were some business men talking. I had no business there so I talked to Wendy. Wendy had been a stripper but now she was living with some guy so she became a waitress to please him. I asked her questions about dancing and had her show me stripper moves.

The first she showed me was to bend over double and backwards with her tits pointing toward the ceiling and the top of her head almost touching the floor. It was harder for me to do and probably not as much fun to watch as it was for her. Then we practiced bumps where you rock your hip from side to side on a count of, one and two and one, two, three. We practiced doing it both with my hands behind my head and with my hands level with my head as in a weight lifting stance. She thought I should put my hands level with my head. I next learned to do the grind, moving hips side to side while thrusting forward and back. She thought this was better with my hands behind my head. Then she showed me the Shimmy shake and it was hard. I had to hold my hands as if holding ski poles and move shoulders and hips opposingly. It did little for me but for Wendy it caused her tits to shake violently. Finally I learned the Dip which is part curtsy and part bending at the knees. I would have to practice but I appreciated her help.

MaryLou Tower was also tall but shorter than the other dancers. She had red hair, was very tan and was wearing a burnt orange shantung silk top with matching wool floor length stretch skirt that clung tightly to her legs whether together or apart. When apart, the material was stretched thin enough to see the outline of her legs through it.

MaryLou was the bustiest by far of the dancers. She was achingly slim everwhere else. She had a narrow waist that made her hips look larger than they were. She was like a dagger, her head to her breast were the handsome handle, her bust was the guard from which she tapered down to to a point of her pump peeping out from beneath her form fitting skirt as she stood with one foot in front of the other. She had curly red hair reaching to her shoulder blades and arranged so it cascaded over her left shoulder and curl on the rounded top of her breast.

MaryLou's music was Latin and she moved to it, her body shaking in every direction. She moved quickly across the stage and back again then did a side step across the front of the stage inviting the men to come up with her. No one did. Not because they didn't want to be closer but because there was no way they would make the show better. She finished with a Shimmy shake, and her tits really shook.

The music slowed and she danced slowly across the stage with her feet moving faster than she. At one edge of the stage she did a dip as she walked back. Doing a skip dance in the middle she took one strap off her shoulder to the cheers of everyone. At the other side she did a dip and slipped the 2nd strap off her shoulder

When she was in the center of the stage she reached behind her to unzip her top while turning her back and to show bra strap. She turned to face us and slipped it off, slowly lowering it to uncover her overflowing white lace bra. She took the opportunity to do a series of bumps. The crowd was wildly yelling so she gave them (and me) another series of bumps followed by a vigorous grind.

MaryLou danced over to the side and ducked behind the curtain, holding it in front of her as she took off her skirt which was not easy since it was so clingy. She emerged from behind curtain holding her skirt in front of her shyly then jerked it away standing in white highcut lace panties, white hose and a pale blue garter. She looked radiant with the contrast of her lingerie with her tan skin.

She stride-walked across the across the stage holding her shoulders forward and her ample chest out, stopping occasionally to do a series of bumps. Finally she returned to center stage and danced madly, throughing her entire body into the Latin beat. She slowed to do a grind and ended with a backward bend allowing everyone an opportunity to peer down her cleavage if they didn't need glasses.

Her removal of the garter was the same as Candace's ending with her picking up of the leather lining the stage and blowing kisses to the Lotharios.

Finally she bowed and left the stage.

Two Go-Go Dancers came out and climbed into the cage. Phyllide Growley, tall for a Go-Go was wearing an Electric white bikini with white knee high boots. Femi Taylor was wearing a white crop top over blue short pleated skirt, both with rhinestones. Femi also wore blue knee high boots and dark blue hose.

As I walked by the table of women I overheard one, who was no younger than 35, say she was going to have a male stripper for her birthday. I couldn't resist. I reached over her shoulder and gave her my business card and said, "Call me. I'll pop out of a cake for you. Is it your 21st birthday?"

Everyone laughed. But she offered my card back and said, "No thanks."

I was hurt and it must have shown because the others stopped laughing and looked embarrassed. The birthday girl pushed on. Pointing to Bruce she said, "He's what I had in mind."

It's a deal! He and I are a team. I'll go tell him we have a job.

I went to find Bruce who had wandered off. He was reluctant to participate at all. He wanted to know, "Why do you want to do this?"

"One of the girls at the table is younger. See her, the one with her hair falling over her eyes and brushing it out of the way. See!" The girl looked to be maybe 25.

Bruce wasn't convinced. "Vicki's already mad at me. What will she think when she finds out?"

"She won't find out. They don't know what your name is. They only know mine. You'll just be Bruce. It'll be a skylark!"

Bruce worried about not knowing what to do if we performed at the party, then where to find a cake and how much to charge and what to wear. I could tell he was beginning to think this was a good idea. Finally I was able to go back and write a price for the two of us on the back of the card. We got the price by asking one of the go-go dancers. She thought men should be less, maybe half what a woman would be paid but we held to full equity on principle.

When I told her that Bruce and I would both do it for the price of 2 she had no choice but to accept. I joined their table.

The girl with hair in her eyes was named Kimberley. She had fascinating eyes, a gorgeous face and a smile that indicated she knew something you didn't. It helped that she had a great figure, short skirt, tight legs and big tits.

The next stripper was Monica Gaeta a blue eyed, blonde wearing a blue lace top over a pale-blue lace, ankle length skirt slit up the right side with black lace on the bias from her left knee to the hem. Her hair was shoulder length but tonight was coiffed, piled up on her head with thin wisps curling down her neck and along the side of her face. Monica was tall with long slender legs, a nice curvy figure, pert breasts a narrow waist, medium hips and a well rounded butt topping long, slender, shapely legs.

She lazily walked accross stage, turns and paces back, her hips swaying, her eyes on the crowd. She stopped in stage center allowing her leg to slide through the slit in her skirt. Although stopped, she was still swaying

The beat of the music picked up and Monica starts to dance, moving back and forth on the stage then danced side-to-side across the stage. She did a couple of dips as she danced. When she reached center-stage she began to whirl as she danced. As she spun her hands moved to her left hip loosening the fastener on the skirt. On her final turn she held the skirt so it was between her and the audience. Still swaying she faced the audience and then danced to the side of the stage still holding the skirt as a cover. She spun again at the edge of the stage ending with the skirt behind her, standing in a blue lace body suit slowly letting the skirt slip to the floor.

The music slowed and Monica came to center stage locking her stare on one man in the audience. He did not look into her eyes. She put her left palm on her left thigh then moved it slowly up and across her hip with her fingers brushing over her stomach, skimming her breast until, when reaching her shoulder her fingers snuck under her strap. Her hand pushed the strap over her shoulder and down her arm stoppiing at her right elbow.

Now Monica started on the other side, placing her right palm on her right thigh and sensuously moving her fingers over her body all the time looking as if she enjoyed it until her hand pushed the strap over her shoulder and down her arm.

Monica stood with her arms crossed holding the straps, gently swaying and staring languidly with a wicked smile at the audience who were now shouting advice to her. She began to straighten her arm, pulling the two straps downward as her arms uncrossed until the top was pulled free of her breasts. Her hands continued steadily downward pulling the suit over her hips then bending to slide the suit down her thighs, fully exposing herself. Monica slipped one foot from her pump, raised one leg and carefully unthreaded the suit from her leg. Soon the suit was on the floor and she straightened up with her arms over head in a victory Vee and gave the audience a victory smile.

Monica stood fully unclothed except for pale yellow hose and a purple garter. Then she pranced accross the stage. She was proud of her body and her skill and absorbed the applause and calls, also watching the leather build up on the edge of the stage.

Finally she pulled the chair over to edge of stage facing the audience and put the gartered leg over the back of the chair and let it rest flat footed in its pump before removing the garter and tossing it to the crowd.

She carried the chair to the back of the stage and resumed her prancing.

At the curtain she turned to the audience, threw her arms into the air again, did a slight curtsy and quickly disappeared through the curtain

I am an adequate dancer with no illusions beyond that. My Mother and Father were admired dancers who tought me most of what they knew. My father said though that most of what made them good dancers was dancing together for over 30 years. So when I decided I wanted to get Kimberly away from her friends so I could talk to her I knew I wanted some slow dances.

Others may disagree but slow dances are better to start, quieter and the man gets to lead so its one time the woman has to pay attention to him. I went to the DJ from TJ to arrange for 3 slow dances. He would wait for me to get to the dance floor before starting them. He was always happy to get people dancing and it gave the go-go girls some rest.

Next I had to get Kimberly to the dance floor. Like an 8th grader with his hair slicked back and a new suit I walked over, caught her eye and asked, "Would you like to dance?"

She turned red. It dawned on me it would be embarrassing to get attention from the hired male stripper. Kimberly made a nice recovery. "There's no one else on the dance floor."

This I could handle; after all, the place was filled with men. I called over her shoulder to a group talking behind her. "Hey. You in the Blue shirt."

The man turned, puzzled and a little defensive to see if it was he who was being rudely addressed. It was. "Yes you," I called, "you'll dance with Kathy here." I nodded to the men with him, "and you dance with Inge, you with Hayley and you with Janis."

Amazingly they didn't argue. In fact two of the remaining women went to the floor with us so we had six couples. The DJ from TJ gave three slow dances and then turned up the rhythm so we lasted only 5 dances before we returned to the table. So did the guy in the Blue Shirt whose name turned out to be Ed. He seemed suddenly to like Kathy.

Monica came out in mufti, red crushed velvet top over a black, leather micro-mini skirt. She talked to those who came up to her. It was rare for strippers to come out among the crowd.

Candace-nurse outfit-white with skirt to knee and zipper to 1 foot above the knee. When she spread her legs, the hem of the skirt belled out.

Candace selected a man from the audience to come on stage. Monica must have been looking over the audience to select a likely stooge. She indicated that the man was to sit in the chair.

She was very professional. Candace talked him into removing his shirt, pretended to take his pulse and open his mouth to say Ah. She did flirt outrageously and suggestively with him. After all, she was a stripper and that is what she does.

All this time she was leaving her "patient" to go flirt with the men in the audience. Candace had such a large beautiful smile she was a natural comedienne. Her two main faces were smiles to show she was pleased with herself and perplexity to show she didn't know what the hell was going on. Sometimes she did devilment to show she knew exactly what she was she was doing and this poor sap didn't.

Candace unzipped slowly, just an inch at a time. At first it didn't matter since you just saw a little more black skin behind the white dress. Then it go interesting, you could see her purple bra show a little. Candace continued to dance and unzip until it was unzipped to her navel. When the dress was fully opened she attached it somehow to the side straps of the bra so it revealed all there was to see, showing purple bra and panties from which parts were missing. She left him in the chair and danced around finally going over to the curtain. She returned holding something behind her. It was a huge needle and the man cooperated by pretending to faint. Candace bent over him in mock horror and he tried to kiss her. That is forbidden but she dodged him and wagged her finger at him.

She removed her dress and enjoyed the opportunity to exhibit her tight body. The she left.

Previously they had a number of "special" costumes. The once has Belly Dancer; after all that's how stripping got started. The dancer gave the man turban and hookah-came out with large pruning shears. There was a School Teacher costume complete with glasses and hair pulled up severely. The dancer put a dunce cap on him and had him on a stool in the corner. Then she literally let her hair down. Finally she came over to him with a paddle. And then there was the Hula dancer in a grass skirt and nothing a else, not even shoe. She finally danced him back toward a black paper-mache pot.

It was a great show. Every time I was here I saw something new. I really didn't go to other strip joints but they seemed to have a canned routine they did all the time. These girls enjoyed doing something different.

I took Kimberley to the lounge so we could talk. Wendy served us and ws very polite but her smile told me she found my earnest wooing of Kimberley amusing.

Kimberley was a graduate of the Air Force Academy and a pilot but not a fighter jockey. She had served her tour of duty and left the service to join private industry. I learned she was a financial analyst in Marketing who wanted to become a product manager. I could talk to her about this. I sold to Product Managers all over the state. I knew them all.

She lived in a Condo near work and hadn't made many friends outside of work. She thought her Company would grow and was excited about the stock option plan. As a financial analyst she was developing a stock portfolio plan. While in the Air Force she had taken classes in Investment Analysis. She had defended Free Enterprise and now she was exploiting it.

After she finished her drink I walked her back to her table and let the other women tease me.

MaryLou came out wearing a white lace dress with giant red buttons and a skirt to just above the knee. It was slit to the last button which was literally only a hair below her money-maker.

Since she was not doing a scene she was dancing. MaryLou unsnapped one button at a time displaying Kelly Green lace bra and matching lace G-string. She drew out every snap with every trick but did not actually take much time. When only the last button was left snapped she danced to the edge of the stage limbo fashion, her legs wide apart, her hips thrust forward and leaning back for balance. She came as close to the edge of the stage as she could and made it clear by her actions and facial expresssion to the man in front of her that he had to save her and all mankind from frustration by unsnapping that last button. He met the challenge and extended himself up until he undid her.

The dress flew open, of course and the view was not one a lady offered so many men but MaryLou seemed overjoyed by the reaction of all the men.

The removal of her Green garter went according to the standard procedure although only Monica could put her leg over the back of the chair. MaryLou did her removal with the elan she might give to losing her virginity. Everyone cheered and envied the lucky guy who caught it.

MaryLou danced and pranced interspersing all of the bumps, grinds, etc. required by the Stripper's Union. Just as everyone was tired of watching her and beginning to think of getting another drink the music slowed and she pushed one bra strap over the edge. Then another, and finally unhooked the strap but held the cups to contain her. No one blinked until she let the bra drop away and she went into a slow shimmy shake. Then she exited and left the go-go girls and waitresses earn their pay.

The women were preparing to leave so I went over to find Kimberley and ask her out. Once again I was the one who had to ask. I had no indication from Kimberley although she seemed interested in me and never refused me.

"We are going to see each other. I'll be at the party with lots of dollar bills." She even giggled.

I was crushed. She thought I was a joke when I only did it to meet her. How could I explain that to her?

Monica came out this time wearing a ruby-red, satin men's PJs under a satin robe of the same color but with gold filigree pattern. Her eyes were closed when she came out. I was worried she would fall off stage but after all the shows she has done she knows where the edge is. Monica seemed to be in reverie of some past romantic dance; the suggestion being of a man she had danced with earlier in the evening.

The robe swayed open a little as she danced. The robe was tightly knotted at the waist emphasizing Monica's figure. The knot on the robe must have been a trick one because it came open in an instant when she touched it.

She continued dancing with the robe open, her hand fanning herself to indicate she was hot. The look on her face with her eyes closed, the swaying dance made her look as hot as she made everyone feel.

Then began the tease. Remember, stripping's last name is "tease." She untied the robe so that her PJs were fully visable and as she danced the robe filled with the relative wind and billowed behind her. Finally Monica released the robe to slip slowly off her shoulder and to the floor. Now she was in the PJs, gliding over the stage, dreaming of her lover. She began to unbutton the top slowly, langorously not to mention excruciatingly.

Monica removed the top just llike the robe, over her shoulder and slowly down her arm to the floor.

Now she released the tie on the bottoms and stepped out of them. She was wearing nothing except red satin shoes. She wore no hose but everyone could see her legs were flawless. She pranced a little in excitement.

There was the sound of a knock on a door just behind the curtain. Monica called out, "I'll be right there, I just finished getting ready," and walked to the curtain and out.

As I was closing my bill with Aurora she asked for my card. I was flattered and gave her one but asked, "Why do you want it?"

"The girls who work here are having a going away party for Wendy who is getting married. We are chipping in to hire you and Bruce for the party."

I turned red. Then I realized Bruce would kill me.


Last Updated 12/18/98

© HWS, 1998