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Subj: Youth Homeschoolers' Epistle #5
Date: 6/3/99 7:03:49 PM Eastern Daylight Time
From: Epistle sender
To: Epistle receivers

Issue #5 of the Youth Homeschoolers' Epistle

Question of the Week:

What're the invaluable "words of wisdom" somebody told you?

(classic examples: "don't run with those scissors in your
hand!" or "someday you'll kave kids of your
own...then you'll understand...")

send answers to

Answers to Last Week's Question:

Q. If you had unlimited talent, unlimited ability, unlimited resources, and unlimited opportunity, what would you like to do with your life?

A. If I had the resources and the chance, I would open Homeless Shelter's
around the world. I would build them so Homeless People could get cleaned up, and find jobs. I believe the reason so many people are homeless is because they look bad and no one wants to hire them. I would also give them a couple of pairs of clean clothes, food, a bed and a place for their children to stay while they were away. Then once they get back on their feet, I would help find them a place to live. ~Savannah

A. Good question. I have no idea. I should think of something perhaps. (ever notice that when an adult says something's a good question, I suppose to differentiate it from a bad question (bad, bad, question! sit! stay!!), what they mean is that they don't know? It's true. And very odd.)
I would do several things, I believe.
Hey you aren't gonna like this, but I would be a Navy SEAL.
Told ya. :)
I would then (make that, I would later) go about the countryside doing good in small ways such as stopping for people whose cars have broken down (mechanical know-how would be helpful here), picking up hitchhikers, and doing a lot of volunteering. Finding good homes for stray dogs and cats and maybe the occasional ferret...also starting up some of these businesses that have been tumbling around in my head for the last 1/20th of a century.
And maybe go to law school, take the bar, and keep on going with the driving about the countryside doing good bit. And maybe... perhaps... possibly... perchance... at the end of a lifetime of driving about... get a driver's license? ~ Joy


Scripture of the Month

"A man's heart deviseth his way: but the Lord directeth his steps." Proverbs 16:9 (KJV)

Profile: Savannah Ruth

What a typical school day at your house is like: I usually get up around 8:00 maybe earlier, maybe later depending on the day. I drink my coffee and plan out my day with Mom. Then I complete my schoolwork which usually consists of: Vocabulary, Algebra ( Ick! ), History ( I could do this all day ), Writing ( I'm actually writing a novel right now so this is fun! ), French, and Science. After school I check my e-mail. Then usually we have places to go around 5:00. After we get home I call my friends and talk to them until I have to go to bed around 11:00. And so that is my fab day!
Savannah Jeanine Ruth
-E-mail address: Sabriel42@aol.com
- Age: I'm 15
- How long you've been homeschooled: Since 7th Grade. I guess almost 4 years.
Siblings: Ricky 21, T.J. 19, Murdoch 10, and Austin 5 ( those are my dad's kids ) and then at my house is Grant 10.
What you like most about being homeschooled: I love having the freedom to decide what I learn, having a Godly education, actually getting an education, being myself instead if what others want me to be, being away from the stupid clique social thing....and I can think of about a million other things.
What you hate most about being homeschooled: I would like to some dances.
Hobbies: Playing the guitar, reading, working at the library, playing soccer, writing, listening to music, acting.
What you want to be when you grow up: I want to be an actress whether on the stage or movies, I would also like to be a Criminal Psychologist, or maybe even a writer.


Jokes, Stories, and Sayings

(Please don't try this at home)

Darwin Award -- the 1997 winner: Larry Walters of Los Angeles-one of the few Darwin winners to survive his award-winning accomplishment. Larry's boyhood dream was to fly. When he graduated from high school, he joined the Air Force in hopes of becoming a pilot. Unfortunately, poor eyesight disqualified him. When he was finally discharged, he had to satisfy himself with watching jets fly over his backyard. One day, Larry, had a bright idea. He decided to fly. He went to the local Army-Navy surplus store and purchased 45 weather balloons and several tanks of helium. The weather balloons, when fully inflated, would measure more than four feet across. Back home, Larry securely strapped the balloons to his sturdy lawn chair. He anchored the chair to the bumper of his jeep and inflated the balloons with the helium. He climbed on for a test while it was still only a few feet above the ground. Satisfied it would work, Larry packed several sandwiches and a six-pack of Miller Lite, loaded his pellet gun -- figuring he could pop a few balloons when it was time to descend-and went back to the floating lawn chair. He tied himself in along with his pellet gun and provisions. Larry's plan was to lazily float up to a height of about 30 feet above his back yard after severing the anchor and in a few hours come back down. Things didn't quite work out that way.

When he cut the cord anchoring the lawn chair to his jeep, he didn't float lazily up to 30 or so feet. Instead he streaked into the LA sky as if shot from a cannon. He didn't level of at 30 feet, nor did he level off at 100 feet. After climbing and climbing, he leveled off at 11,000 feet. At that height he couldn't risk shooting any of the balloons, lest he unbalance the load and really find himself in trouble. So he stayed there, drifting, cold and frightened, for more than 14 hours. Then he really got in trouble. He found himself drifting into the primary approach corridor of Los Angeles International Airport.

A United pilot first spotted Larry. He radioed the tower and described passing a guy in a lawn chair with a gun. Radar confirmed the existence of an object floating 11,000 feet above the airport. LAX emergency procedures swung into full alert and a helicopter was dispatched to Investigate. LAX is right on the ocean. Night was falling and the offshore breeze began to flow. It carried Larry out to sea with the helicopter in hot pursuit. Several miles out, the helicopter caught up with Larry. Once the crew determined that Larry was not dangerous, they attempted to close in for a rescue but the draft from the blades would push Larry away whenever they neared. Finally, the helicopter ascended to a position several hundred feet above Larry and lowered a rescue line. Larry snagged the line and was hauled back to shore. The difficult maneuver was flawlessly executed by the helicopter crew.

As soon as Larry was hauled to earth, he was arrested by waiting members of the LAPD for violating LAX airspace. As he was led away in handcuffs, a reporter dispatched to cover the daring rescue asked why he had done it. Larry stopped, turned and replied nonchalantly, "A man can't just sit around." Let's hear it for Larry Walters, the 1997 Darwin Award Winner.


In primitive society, when native tribes beat the ground with clubs and yelled, it was called witchcraft; today, in civilized society, it is called golf.


You know it's gonna be a really bad day when

You wake up face down on the pavement.
You call suicide prevention and they put you on hold.
You see a 60 Minutes news team waiting in your office.
Your birthday cake collapses from the weight of the candles.
You turn on the news and they're showing emergency routes out of the city.
Your twin sister forgot your birthday.
The bird singing outside your window is a buzzard.
You wake up and your braces are locked together.
You call your answering service and they tell you it's none of your business.
Your income check bounces.
You put both contact lenses in the same eye.
Your car horn goes off accidentally and remains stuck as you follow a group of Hell's Angels onto the freeway.
Your boss tells you not to bother taking off your hat.


Another very bad day--

Swedish business consultant Ulf af Trolle labored 13 years on a book about Swedish economic solutions. He took the 250-page manuscript to be copied, only to have it reduced to 50,000 strips of paper in seconds when a worker confused the copier with the shredder.



1) How long did the Hundred Years War last?
2) Which country makes Panama hats?
3) From which animal do we get catgut?
4) In which month do Russians celebrate the October Revolution?
5) What is a camel's hair brush made of?
6) The Canary Islands in the Pacific are named after what animal?
7) What was King George VI's first name?
8) What color is a purple finch?
9) Where are Chinese gooseberries from?
10) How long did the Thirty Years War last?
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
1) 116 years, from 1337 to 1453. It was actually a series of conflicts.
2) Ecuador.
3) From sheep and horses.
4) November. The Russian calendar was 13 days behind ours.
5) Squirrel fir.
6) The Latin name was Insularia Canaria - Island of the Dogs.
7) Albert. When he came to the throne in 1936 he respected the wish of Queen Victoria that no future king should ever be called Albert.
8) Distinctively crimson.
9) New Zealand.
10) Thirty years, of course. From 1618 to 1648. And it was actually one conflict (that was scattered across the European Continent).



(Screen It--video and movie reviews)
(more reviews and stuff)
(Court TV's documents, like transcripts of cases)
(Mark Lowry's site)
(an Activegram is like an animated movie, squashed into a card, and emailed to somebody)
(Welcome to Josh's Mind!!!)
(quotations from Douglas Adams's books)
and last but not least


Thanks to everyone who sent things in!
E-mail comments, responses to the Question, prayer requests, your favorite websites, things you'd like to see in the next Epistle, jokes, stories, or color schemes to the people at


Also the Epistle's website is at


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