Just a Thought
Ok, so you are probably wondering what I would be thinking about that would
be good enough to put on here. Well, just from experience in life, I would
like to share some things.
Questions of the Universe
- Why are there always 8 hotdogs in a package, but a whole 10 buns
come in a bag?
- If blind people wear sunglasses, why don't deaf people wear earmuffs?
- Why do we drive in parkways and park in driveways?
- Where does the other sock go?
- What is the meaning of life?
- Why do men think?
- Where is the any key?
- Why do I have to?
- Do I really care?
- Why is go pronounced go and do pronouced do?
- Am I fat?
- Do you really love me or are you just saying that to make me feel better?
- How come you press harder on a remote-control when you know the battery
is dead?
- Why are they called buildings, when they're already finished? Shouldn't
they be called builts?
- Why are they called apartments, when they're all stuck together?
- Why do people without out a watch look at their wrist when you ask them
what time it is? Why do you ask someone without a watch what time it is?
- Why does sour cream have an expiration date?
- Who is General failure and why is he reading my disk?
- The light went out, but where to?
- Why do banks charge you a "non-sufficient funds fee" on money they
already know you don't have?
- Why is it you have a "pair" of pants and only one bra?
- Does the reverse side also have a reverse side?
- Why is the alphabet in that order?
- If the universe is everything, and scientists say that the universe is
expanding, what is it expanding into?
- If you got into a taxi and he started driving backwards, would the taxi
driver end up owing you money?
- What would a chair look like if your knees bent the other way?
- If a tree falls in the forest and no one is around to see it do the
other trees make fun of it?
- Why is a carrot more orange than an orange?
- When two airplanes almost collide why do they call it a near miss?? It
sounds like a near hit to me!!
- Do fish get cramps after eating?
- How come abbreviated is such a long word?
- Why are there 5 syllables in the word "monosylabic"?
- If it's zero degrees outside today and it's supposed to be twice as cold
tomorrow, how cold is it going to be?
- Why do they call it the Department of Interior when they are in charge
of everything outdoors?
- Why do scientists call it research when looking for something new?
- If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat?
- When I erase a word with a pencil, where does it go?
- Why is it, when a door is open it's ajar, but when a jar is open, it's
not a-door?
- Tell a man that there are 400 billion stars and he'll believe you. Tell
him a bench has wet paint and he has to touch it.
- How come Superman could stop bullets with his chest, but always ducked
when someone threw a gun at him?
- Do infants have as much fun in their infancy as adults do in adultery?
- If "con" is the opposite of "pro," then what is the opposite of
progress?
- Why is lemon juice mostly artificial ingredients but dishwashing liquid
contains real lemons?
- How much deeper would the ocean be if sponges didn't grow in it?
- Why buy a product that it takes 2000 flushes to get rid of?
- Why do we wait until a pig is dead to "cure" it?
- Why do we wash bath towels? Aren't we clean when we use them?
- Why do we put suits in a garment bag and put garments in a suitcase?
- Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
- Do Roman paramedics refer to IV's as "4's"?
- Whose cruel idea was it for the word "lisp" to have an "s" in it?
- What do little birdies see when they get knocked unconscious?
- Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?
- If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and
apes?
- Should you trust a stockbroker who's married to a travel agent?
- Is boneless chicken considered to be an invertebrate?
- Do married people live longer than single people or does it just SEEM
longer?
- I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, "Where's the self-help
section?" She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.
- If all those psychics know the winning lottery numbers, why are they all
still working?
- Isn't Disneyland a people trap operated by a mouse?
- Sooner or later, doesn't EVERYONE stop smoking?
- Since light travels faster than sound, isn't that why some people appear
bright until you hear them speak?
- Isn't the best way to save face to keep the lower part shut?
- War doesn't determine who's right, just who's left.
Comments I have
- People spend way too much time thinking about themselves, when they could
be thinking about the reason for living.
- Beauty is only skin deep until you dig it up.
- If you were to die tomorrow, would you really want to donate your body to
a bunch of medical students who are only going to dice you up and make fun
of your genitalia?
- Why is Hillary so supportive of Bill?
- What is the real reason Bill named his dog Buddy? (think of all the sex
scandels!)
- The real reason that people live life is because they don't have anything
better to do with their time.
Answers to Whatever
- Because I said so!
- Because you are just too ugly!
- Do I look like I know what you are talking about?
- Because you don't love me anymore.
- Ask me later when I'm not here.
- Ask my other personality, he knows everything. Don't you?
- Why should I tell you?
- Don't ask me questions. I'm not smart enough to know the answers.
- Should you be asking me these type of questions?
I think that I could get in trouble for that.
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Email: erity@hotmail.com
