The Poopie List

• GHOST POOPIE: The kind where you feel the poopie come out, but there is no poopie in the toilet.
• CLEAN POOPIE: The kind where you poopie it out, see it in the toilet, but there is nothing on the toilet paper.
• SECOND WAVE POOPIE: This happens when you're done pooping, have pulled your underwear up to your knees and you realize you have to poopie some more.
• POP-A-VEIN-IN-YOUR-FOREHEAD POOPIE: The kind where you strain so hard you practically have a stroke.
• LINCOLN LOG POOPIE: This kind of poopie is so huge, you are afraid to flush without breaking it up with your pencil.
• GASSEY POOPIE: It is so noisy that everyone within earshot is giggling.
• DRINKER POOPIE: The kind of poopie you have after a long night of drinking. It's most noticeable trait is the skid marks at the bottom of the toilet bowl.
• CORN POOPIE: (self explanatory)
• GEE-I-WISH-I-COULD-POOPIE POOPIE: The kind where you want to poopie but all you could do is sit on the toilet and fart a few times.
• SPINAL TAP POOPIE: This kind hurts so bad coming out, you swear it is leaving sideways.
• WET CHEEKS POOPIE (aka POWER DUMP): The kind that comes out so fast, your behind is splashed with toilet water.
• LIQUID POOPIE: The kind where yellowish-brown liquid shoots out and splashes all over the toilet bowl and you.
• UPPER CLASS POOPIE: The kind of poopie that does not smell.
• SUPRISE POOPIE: You are not even at the toilet because you are positive you will only fart, but...(oops!) a poopie.
• DANGLING POOPIE: This poopie refuses to drop even though you know you are done pooping. You just hope that a shake or two will cut it loose.
• ATOMIC POOPIE: The kind that burns on the way out and it still burns hours after you poopie.
• THE MARK LEE POOPIE (A.K.A. The Shit That Shook The World): The poopie that's so large you have to be driven to 2 different stores to find a plunger that will take care of your mess.