Why Christ Should Be Shot In The Face
Some Web Pages For Yew To Check Out
My favorite anti-christianity site
Violence.. Who can live without it
This site is actually kind of cool once you figure it out
A fun cartoon site
**********June 07, 3:55PM**********
Hey, I finally decided to write something in my website. It's been forever since I last wrote in here. Partly because my life has become nothing but repetitive boredom every day. Life is starting to feel more and more pointless. I mean, what am I trying to achieve? I don't know.. I hate you anyways, so my feelings shouldn't mean shit to you. But moving on... hmmm, mike I think has been thrown out of his house. His mom thinks he stole a couple hundred dollars or something using her MAC card, and Mike claims he didn't d it. So, she threw him out. Beckie hates him for whatever reason, so he wasn't able to stay at my place. I wonder whatever happened to him... Well, I haven't had any sleep all night, so I'm going to bed..
*********April 20, 12:55AM**********
You're depressed. Really you are. And you
definitely have a reason. You often space out
and stare at things blankly, even if you're
normally hyper and energetic. This is because
nothing really seems important anymore. You
might just be sad right now, or you might be
manic depressive. Don't worry. Have some cocoa
and stuff'll be ok.
How Depressed are You?
brought to you by Quizilla
**********March 11, 1:06PM**********
Me and Beckie finally moved out of the shitty house up in Marietta and moved down to Lancaster Green apartemnts which is like 5 minutes from my parents house. They kinda kicked me out of their house I guess because my mom called me the one day and told me while I'm moving all of Beckie's stuff out of there, I mite as well move my stuff too. I'm actually kind of excited about that. I wasn't expecting to be moving all my shit over here until I turned 18, but she basicly granted me the permission to do so right now. :-) I still have managed to somehow maintain my job at McDonalds. The new manager we just got there is a dyke. She's cool as shit though. She used to work at the Rutter's in Marietta where Beckie lived, so I kinda knew her a little bit before she started there. I went to a party on Friday night. Juan (one of the managers) was leaving back to his country (columbia.) I arrived around 12:00 and everyone was drunk off their ass. Matt fell down the stairs and cracked his head off the wall before opening the door to greet us. Then he tried to ride a bike on a ptch of ice and fell like 20 times. When I got in they made me and the people who just arrived drink vodka, then I smoked another joint. I was starting to see doubles, drank a few beers, then a bunch of people left, so we just decided to call it a night. It was pretty funny though. Watching Matt try and crawl around to get to the bathroom, fighting vacuum cleaners, trying to find you when he was talking to you, etc. Well, I'm being rushed off of here so Beckie can use the phone for some odd reason.... 
You're in the Freak box.
What box do you get put in?
brought to you by Quizilla
**********January 27, 1:39AM**********
Had a good day at work today. It was the super bowl, so we weren't busy at all. I came in at 7, and we only had about 8 orders until we closed at 11. It was so dead that we got all of our closing stuff done early, and i was only making meats if an occasional order popped up, rather then sitting them in the trays. We got out at about 11:05, which wasn't bad at all considering we closed at 11:00. I know I haven't updated my site for a long, long time. Lack of motivation has kept me from doing so. So I'll just re-cap some of the major events that happened since my last update. A few weeks ago me, mike, and gie went out to search for a QP. we went through some other faggot to get the shit, and me and gie had a good feeling something wasn't right all night. I don't know if mike was thinking the same thing or not. it was hard to tell because he was walking places alone with this other strange guy with like 300.00 in his pocket. to make a long story short, we ended up waiting a few hours, i think it was like 2 or 3, only to get a gun pulled on us. when the people were comming with what we thought would be our QP, mike got out of the car to exchange the money for the drugs. 3 puerto ricans were there, and that's when i was 100% sure something was about to happen. i kept looking back out the back window. the one fuckin spic pulled out a gun on mike and told him to "run his pockets." mike refused, some words were exchanged, and the guy with the gun said something like "do u want me to shoot you?" mike being the asshole he usually is had the balls to say "yeah, just shoot me in the back then." and walked back to the car. the spic followed him to the car and he pointed the gun at all of us and grabbed mike by the shoulders. gie pulled the car away and they ended up smashing the window. glass was all over the place. it was pretty frightening, but later that night i got the 2 ounces i was desperately waiting for so long for. i gave gie a half because of his window, and didnt even think about giving mike something for his bravery and not "runnning his pockets." until after i was dropped off. ok, end of that story... someone IM'd me about a week and a half ago telling me about this new over the counter medicine with nothing but DXM and orange flavoring in it. So a few days later me and mike walked from his house, to the cvs, and back in cold weather just to retrieve this medicine called desreyl or something. i ended up paying 25.00 but it was well worth it. it was a cough syrup, so i thought it would suck, but it actually had a good flavor to it. tasted just like any normal beverage. we went to the mall and met robin and her sister there. robin skitzed out for a little and me and mike went off to the bathroom to roll some joints. we were approached by a large group of people with cameras, and some gorilla costumed guy holding flowers. we went out and smoked walking around park city, went back in and gie found us on his way out. we all went in his car, smoked a blunt and i ended up puking. luckily i made it to the window and not all over the inside of his car with 2 girls beside me. well.. im being harassed by beckie to get off of this account so she can check her email. i'll update again when something happens worthwhile writing about.
**********December 4, 10:05PM**********
Right not I'm really frustrated, and bored as fuck. I got bitched at once again for comming in late for work. The manager felt the need to get back at me, so he put me on fries, which I did not know how to do, and because it was the hardest thing in there to do. Then, grill needed help, so he made me open up another side of the grill and run it by myself. Later when everyone left, I went to the other side of grill and had to run it by myself from about 2:30-5. That really sucked because we had so many orders, and I was really far behind. Got home, and tried to find something to do, but no one was home. And Beckie is out at some place called the hop, prolly getting drunk off her ass, and I'm stuck here with NOTHING! boredom sucks.. I feel like I'm back in lock-up because of lack of things to do. I've been thinking a lot about mutilating to cure my boredom, but I know that will only cause more problems further down the road... I guess I'm stuck sitting here on this computer hoping someone calls me and wants to go out and do something, but I doubt that will happen. Probably won't even go to Beckies tonight either.. She said she wasn't gonna drink, but for some reason I really doubt that. So she'll probably be too fucked up to get me. A quick phone call from her would be nice, but she doesn't think about me like that. I'm starting to realize how much I'm really worth to those who say they care. I haven't felt this bad in a while now, but I guess bad days have their time to come also.. I was told by a few people about how their boyfriends/girlfriends left them when they were 21, because of always going out to bars and shit, and I can definately see that happening sometime soon. I don't know if I should just give up on love completely or not.. I mean, is the pain really worth the love you are receiving? Or maybe I'm just making a big thing out of nothing.. I dont know.. I'm also sober, which could be another reason why I'm so depressed. And I have to stay sober friday and saturday also because of some wedding.. this wedding is really starting to irritate me because Beckie is in it, and has all these places to go, and I get stuck here by myself, much like what happened tonight. hmmm.. I am rambling a lot about nothing, but this is only my online journal, so I guess thats ok. I can't believe people actually come here to read about such a pathetic drug addicts life.. but, I am going to go and chew on the barrel of a shotgun now. Keep checking back for my updates.. I know they don't happen too often, but I'm trying!
**********November 23, 10:08PM**********
I got my paycheck on thursday night, and called off work on friday, told em my grandmother died, just so i could do soo many drugs with my paycheck. me, mike, and gei went out to look for some bud to smoke, with no intents on smoking any more then 2 nicks of hydro, unless this acid thats around came through. after we smoked 2 blunts/joints of hydro, i decided i would buy us all an e pill, about $120.00 of pot, and the acid if it somehow would come through. well manny, the guy we bought the dro off of said he could have 3 e pills for us by 8:00, and it was only about 4, but his pills were supposed to be good, so we chose to wait to get some of them. it turned up that many couldnt get them, so we were stuck trying to find it elsewhere. we called herp, and he said he could get us some e through someone else, so i bought 3 pills, and 4 quarters of pot that were freshly ripped off a brick, so i ended up getting more then a quarter in each bag. we really started to roll nice and hard, and it almost felt like we were trippin. we parked and started my what was probably about an ounce and a half, by smoking like 5 joints in a row about every half hour. then we realized we had all night to get fucked up because none of us had to be anywhere, and had no place to go. so i went my second night with no sleep, and only 4 hours the previous night and spent the whole night and half of the next day smoking pot and still rolling pretty nice. now im left with a whole bunch of pot i dont even know what to do with all of it. prolly just go and smoke some more of it right.. now...
**********November 18, 9:36PM**********
Don't have too much to say right now.. I just uploaded an old pic of me taken in one of the many places I was "locked up" at. That was probably the easiest place I was in because we were allowed to go just about anywhere with staff when they wanted to take us somewhere, and the rules were'nt as strict as some of my other places. But they really tried to fuck me over in that place, but never succeeded. Not too much has happened in the past few days.. except one night I tried taking 24 coricidin for the first time in a while and puked 5 minutes later because the taste of the pills was just so horrible. There was a big puddle of vomit almost covering the entire bathroom floor, and miraculously only one of the pills came up. Smoked dust with Mike and G a few days ago.. that was pretty nice. We tried this "Afghani Black" bud, and that tasted pretty good, and got us a nice high. Well, Imma go now.. and find something better to do to occupy my time. =]
**********November 15, 11:12PM**********
Blah! yesterday I cannot remember too much about.. I went to my uncles house whom I havent seen for about 10 years, to help my other uncle move out. The uncles house who I went to didn't even know who I was, and I didn't feel the need to tell him who I was, but I was pretty hurt by it. He just openened the door, and unlocked the attack so me and my other uncle could move all the shit out of it, and he just walked off and continued doing whatever he was doing before we got there. After I got back from there, I went home, then had my mom take me to Mikes house to see what I could do with the 20.00 that I just worked so hard to earn. When I showed up there, G and Mike were outside, and we decided just to get some dust, and a few nicks and just drive around for a while. We went into the city and picked up some dude who had a bag full of vials of dust, and a bag full of nicks.. I wanted to beat the fuck out of him so bad and take all that shit from him, but for some reason we didnt.. I think we ended getting like 5 nicks, or something, and 2 vials of dust. We smoked to dust blunts with this weird"Afghani Black" weed... it was pretty good, tasted really good, and went down really nice... after that, we were really fucked up, and then somehow I woke up in the morning at beckies house. I remember parts of things being in her house, but not much... Today at work during the lunch hour rush we did 71 cars in 77 minutes... thats amazing, considering I thought I was doing a really shitty job just comming down from those 2 dust blunts and 1 and a half boxes of coricidin the previous day.. well.. I got some IM's I need to get back to, so imma go now..
**********November 9, 12:37PM**********
Yesterday I got myself a cell phone at the mall... it took forever for them to activate it because they had to do all this shit under my dads name since he already had a cell phone account, and I was under 18. If anyone ever wants to call me, and talk to a pathetic junkie, the number is (717)333-1064. Yesterday was a shitty day of work also. I went in at 11:00AM, and stayed till 7:30PM. It was a Friday, so we were busy as fuck all damn day. We had like two periods where there were no orders for five minutes, so I was working my ass off all fucking day.
Then when I was about to leave at 7:30 the manager tried telling me the schedule said I was there till 8, but I knew that was bullshit, so I told him I was leaving at 7:30, no later. Then I went to Robs, a kid I work with and bought his computer off of him, and his paintball gun for 200.00. It needs fixed, but my uncle fixes computers, and hes doin it for me for free.. well, I have too many IM's so imma go for now..
**********November 6, 9:33AM**********
It seems like years ago since I've updated this piece of shit, but junkies are slow and very forgetful, so I guess it doesn't matter. Somehow I've managed to maintain my job at Mcdonalds, still getting just 7.00 an hour. But I guess it's better than nothing... I am searching for another job because McDonalds is bitch work, and I'm sick of smelling the foods back at grill. Every time I pull out a meat tray I just wanna throw up. I don't see how people can actually eat this food. Yesterday someone ordered just a bun with cheese, no meat or anything.. that was pretty disgusting. Maybe they had their own meats in the car or something, I dunno. Mike stopped in for some reason and tried telling me something, but I'm not good at reading lips, so he just left. I smoked with one of my co-workers brothers a few days ago with G, Mike, and this other guy, I forget what his name was. We smoked 3 blunts in this little Honda, and that got us pretty high. Then I handed out these lemon-lime flavored cigarettes I forgot I had and everyone just started chewing on the back of them because they "tasted good." We schemed on how we would blow up this police station they are building.. it's 4 stories high, and we really don't want it there. With 4 stories, that means there's gonna be a hell of a lot more cops, and street enforcement which is gonna suck. We thought about how we could place C-4 under the building, because it doesn't even have a floor yet, so we could dig a hole, and 3 years later when they finish building, and use electricity it would set off the C-4 and all that hard work would be blown to pieces. Did you know when they make C-4 bombs they have to do it naked because the static electricity from clothing could set it off? I found that to be somewhat interesting and amusing... picturing this naked guy playing with explosives. I was supposed to meet Callesta at the high school yesterday, but was sent back home by some guy up there, so I'll have to try again later this week. I don't know why it is she wants to meet me up there, but oh well. I'm buying a paintball gun, hand gun, and broken computer from this guy Rob at my work for $200.00. The computer just needs a new power source, and re-formatted hard drive, but my uncle can put in the power source for me because he works with computers. Sometime before the middle of next year I should be in an apartment with Beckie somewhere, which should be a lot of fun... having a place of my own. =] For some reason I still can't get this fuckin picture at the top of the page to work, so I gotta fuck with it again whenever I get the patience to do so. Mike had a party Saturday but I didn't get to go to it. Beckie wasn't gonna go in, she just wanted to drop me off and I didn't want her to be pissed off all nite at me, so I didn't go. I'm beginning to feel slightly sick, probably from not doing any drugs for a few days. I should probably find something to do soon before I die, I survive off of drugs. Drugs are needed as much as oxygen in my fast-paced life of a junkie. I don't know why so many people actually go to this page.. there's a lot more entertaining things online then reading this journal filled with negativity. But who knows.. maybe some day I'll be a celebrity and the visits to this site will be worthwhile. Well, I need to get ready for work... :-/ I'll try to keep updating this site a little more often then I have, but it's difficult now that I have a full-time job and aren't ever home.
**********Octobober 26, 8:08AM**********
Finally decided to update this site... i've been up all nite because i took coricidin, and beckies cousin came down with a friend, so her cousins trippin too. i think shes still asleep on the couch. i was expecting to get some better drugs then DXM from this adam, but for some reason his cell phone is turned off and his voice mail mailbox is full. i think im gonna get my tongue pierced AGAIN today, since i cant find anyone with drugs worth paying for.
**********October 18, 8:54PM**********
Had a busy day at work today. Worked 12-8, and towards the end it got really fuckin busy, so i had to stay 20 extra minutes. We ran out of 4/1's and 10/1's in the middle of all these orders, and more orders kept comming, but we couldn't catch up until all the meats were finished cooking. Then people started taking advantage of my kindness by going somewhere else, leaving me stuck with all these orders, but since it was past my time to clock out, I said "fuck it" and clocked out, leaving the grill with no one back there and a whole mess of orders. I hate when people take my kindess for a weakness. >=/ Last night while beckie was searching for her cell phone that Jacob threw at her and fell beside the bed, she found 2 trays of coricidin. I don't know how they got there because all the Coricidin I ever had was accounted for, and I'm sure Mike would have known if he was missing some. Maybe there's some sort of higher drug power that is placing these drugs in random places for me. =] During work today, I spilled a nice big line of K all over my pants and the floor. I was sorta upset, because I had to make another line, and am now left with just one more. I think I'll save that for when I pop the 2 trays of coricidin. Don't know when I'll be able to take that though because Beckie will prolly keep them hidden from me for a while. Some kid came to work with bud today, and another dealer from Harrisburg called me, and told me bud is back, so I guess we're no longer dry. Fuckin cops... >;/ For some reason the pic that mike made up for my site isn't showing up at all.. or at least this computer anyways. I'm gonna try and fix that now, but doubt I will because Angelfire is fucked up. And also, my counter seems to not be working. =( oh well.. i dont have the patience to fuck with the shit for too long.
**********October 15, 3:01PM**********
Right now I am on an enourmous emount of Ketamine. =) I sniffed 2 pretty big lines at once, and I'm totally out of it right now. I somehow figured out how to finally get this pic up that Mike made for me. (The one on the top of the page) Pretty good work for a junkie isn't it? I think he said he did most of it while he was on some of the K I gave him. hehe... Beckies mom found the vile of Ketamine at her house. She claims to have found it on the couch, but I know for a fact that it wasn't there. She must have been searching around in Beckie's room. She is taking it to work today to find out what it is. Most of the writing on the bottle is in spanish and she knows how to read a little of it. She knows it said somethin about injections. Oh well. Beckie told her Jacob picked it up on the ground in the neighbors yard, but she doesn't think her mom believes it. But I'm not really too bothered about it. I could care less if she knew I used drugs. I'm surprised she doesn't already know. Or maybe she does and is just too afraid to say anything about it. I still gotta try and put up mikes pic, and somehow link it to his site, but I don't know if I'm gonna be able to figure out how the fuck to do that. I am totally out of it right now, and am smoking my sixth cigarette in a row. I can't stop smoking. I plan on sniffing the rest of this K tonight since I'll be staying home tonight, and I want to get rid of it. Well, I'm too fucked up to think of anything else to say right now, and most likely none of this shit makes any sense at all, so I'm going to stop writing right... now.
**********October 14, 2:09PM**********
Went back to work yesterday for the first time in seven days. We were short a bunch of people, so I was stuck on grill by myself, and also had to clean up the back section. I was on enormous emounts of K, so that didn't make things much better. People kept asking me what was wrong me, telling me I was really pale, looked like a skeleton, etc. The manager also kept checking on me every so often asking if I was alright. I think they all have discovered I am a true junkie, but I don't care. Nor do I think they do. If drug addicts couldn't work at McDonalds, there would be no McDonalds. See, us drug addicts can be of some help to this horrible society. Not that being a help to society is something to be proud of... I haven't had much sleep in the past 2 days, probably because of all these drugs overloaded in my body, with no time to get out because I constantly feed it more and more. This vile of K is stretching me more than I thought it would. I go back to work again today at 4. I really want to call off because I'm tired as fuck, but I can't come up with a legitimate excuse to do so.
**********October 12, 7:54AM**********
Okay, I've finally decided I should start a new fuckin web page because the last one I had never updated, and the counter didn't work. I dont know what's wrong with it, but I am never gonna have the effort to fix it, so instead I'll just create a new one. I was thinking about putting all my past entries in here, but then that also would be too much work. Lets see... October 9th was my birthday, I turned 17. I got nothing for my birthday from anyone, but that's ok. I don't really think I wanted anything anyways, other than drugs. Yesterday, Beckie took me to Harrisburg to meet some guy named Adam. I went up there with my remaining 140.00 from my McDonalds paycheck, and bought myself a vial of Ketamine, and he threw in a nice green rolls royce. I rolled pretty good off of that for a while. Beckie also took one, he have her one for free because she dropped him off at a friends house of his. When we got back, she took her pill but I don't think she enjoyed it too much. She just complained that it made her stomache hurt and she just laid in her bed all night after that. I cooked up my vial of k on the stove. I think I did it right, but I'm not too sure. I guess I'll find out when I sniff it. >=/ Adam wants me to look for some dust for him, I think he wants to try it for the first time, and search for someone who's selling pounds, and he'll hook me up. I guess this guy is a little better than I thought he was. He was extremely friendly today, I guess because he was rolling face. I mean, he even gave Beckie a free pill, and threw one in with the vile of K that I purchased. Eventually, around 12:30 or so I laid down to go to sleep and finally got out of the bed around 6:00AM because I couldn't fall asleep. Must be that e. I start work again today at 4. I had a week off because of second degree burns from the grill. I'm gonna try and sell some of this K when I get to work. Adam told me I should be able to make at least 250.00 off of that if I sold it all. (Which I definately won't do) But I will make some profit off of it. He's also gonna get me a DXM recipe, because I am so in love with that shit. If anyone has any recipes for any drugs other then growing Marijuana, please send them to me at G0DiSaFrAuD@aol.com. I would REALLY appreciate it... I may even give ya something in return, if at all possible. I'm beginning to love Beckie more and more as each day goes by, and I don't know what it is that's bringing me closer to her. I just hope I don't lose her, because I don't feel like going through another break-up. I'm gonna try and put in this guest book, but I don't know if it's gonna work. If it does, please feel free to enter anything in there you wish. Even if it's a simple "FUCK YOU." I would appreciate it. Let me know of any ideas to make this boring site a little more entertaining, let me know what ya like/don't like about it, etc. Or even just a simple "Hi" is good enough for me. Well, I'm gonna go and find something else to do to cure my boredom until Beckie wakes up so I can put this K in the oven and dry it out a little more, and apply it to my nasal passages. Oh, if anyone has any decent pics of themselves, and would like them put up on the site, send them to me, and if I like them I might start a photo gallery of online strangers/enemies/friends. NOW SIGN MY FUCKIN GUEST BOOK!!!
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