Cause he kills.
How many people have died?
A victim was found with a knife in his side.
And people used to think I lied.
I warned them before, but no one really cared.
As long as we stand here waiting.
Shivering from our heads to our knees.
How many people have cried.
With the clown chasing you, ignoring your pleas.
Your feet never ran this fast in one day.
And your screams never sounded quite the same way.
And he never seems to let anybody pray.
Chorus
How many people will fight?
From early each morning to late every night.
Children are living in fright.
We have to end all this madness tonight.
As long as we keep on searching.
Using the dog that can jog pretty fast.
And with the help of the town.
His murderous rampage surely won't last.
Your feet never ran this fast in one day.
And your screams never sounded quite the same way.
And he never seems to let anybody pray.
Chorus (x2)
Ballad of the Bobitt Hillbillies
(Sung to the tune of Beverly Hillbillies.)
Come and listen to my story of a man named John
A poor ex-marine with a little fraction gone.
It seems one night after gettin' with the wife
She lopped off his schlong with the swipe of a knife.
(Penis, that is)
(Clean cut, missed his nuts)
Well, the next thing you know there's a Ginsu by his side
And Lorena's in the car takin' Willie for a ride.
She soon got tired of her purple-headed friend
And tossed him out the window as she rounded a bend.
(Curve, that is)
(Pricker shrubs, wheel hubs)
She went to the cops and confessed the attack
And they called out the hounds just to get his weenie back.
They sniffed and they barked and they pointed "over there"
To John Wayne's Henry that was waving in the air.
(Found, that is)
(By a fence, Evidence)
Now Peter and John couldn't stay apart too long
So a Dick Doc said, "hey, I can fix your dong!"
"A needle and a thread is all you're gonna need,"
And the whole world waited 'til they heard that Johnny peed.
(Whizzed, that is)
(Even seam, straight stream)
Well, he healed and he hardened and he took his case to court
With a cockeyed lawyer since his assets came up short.
They cleared her of assault and acquitted him of rape
And his pecker was the only thing they didn't show on tape.
(Video, that is)
Unexposed, case closed)
A GOVERNMENT GIRL
I thought I'd be a G-girl
and have a little fun
They took my application
and made me GS-1
I wore a naughty little blouse
that you could see right through
My boss took one look at it
and made me GS-2
I started some dictation
with my dress above my knee
When I got through with that letter
I became a GS-3
He gave my thigh a little pinch
as he went out the door
I blinked my big blue eyes at him
and got my GS-4
I felt so good one morning
it was so good to be alive
I did a naughty little rhumba
and got my GS-5
My boss asked me to kiss him
so I showed him some new tricks
He must have liked the lesson
'cause I got my GS-6
We went off for the weekend
to his little seashore heaven
I guess I must have pleased him
'cause I got my GS-7
My work must be improving
I got my GS-8
But I don't know if it's worth it
My God I'm three weeks late! .
Jack and Jill went up the hill
With a keg of brandy
Jack got stewed, Jill got screwed
Now it's Jack, Jill and Andy.
Jack and Jill went up the hill
For just an itty bitty.
Jill's now two months overdue,
And Jack has left the city.
Jack and Jill
Went up the hill
And planned to do some kissing.
Jack made a pass, and grabbed her ass
And now two of his front teeth are missing.
Twas the night before christmas
and all through the house,
everyone felt shitty,
even the mouse.
Mom at the whorehouse,
dad smoking grass;
I'd just settle down
for a nice piece of ass.
Out on the lawn,
I heard such a clatter.
I sprung from my chair
to see what was the matter.
When out on the lawn,
I saw a big dick.
I knew in a minute,
it must be St. Nick.
He came down the chimney
like a bat out of hell.
I knew in a moment,
the fucker had fell.
He stuffed all our stockings
with pretzels and beer,
and a big rubber dick
for my brother the queer.
He rose up the chimney
with a thunderous fart.
that son of a bitch
blew my chimney apart.
He swore and he cursed
as he rode away,
piss on you all
and have a hell of a day
