Harry Potter Quotes

Harry: (When Hermione asks Harry if his aunt and uncle will be proud of him) Proud ? Are you crazy ? All those times I could’ve died and I didn’t manage it ? They’ll be furious…

George: (on the sweaters Mrs. Weasley knitted for them) You haven’t got a letter on yours. I suppose she thinks you don’t forget your name. But we’re not stupid – we know we’re called Gred and Forge.

Dumbledore: What happened down in the dungeons between you and Professor Quirrell is a complete secret, so, naturally, the whole school knows.

Dumbledore: To the well-organized mind, death is but the next great adventure.

Ron: I’d hate to see what the Ministry’d do to me if I blew up an aunt. Mind you, they’d have to dig me up first, because Mum would’ve killed me.

Dumbledore: (on Professor Trelawney) Who’d have thought it ? That brings her total of real predictions up to two. I should offer her a pay raise…

We’re coming for you whether the Muggles like it or not, you can’t miss the World Cup, only Mum and Dad reckon it’s better if we pretend to ask their permission first. If they say yes, send Pig back with your answer pronto, and we’ll come and get you at five o’clock on Sunday. If they say no, send Pig back pronto and we’ll come and get you at five o’clock on Sunday anyway.

- Ron’s letter to Harry, regarding the Quidditch World Cup

Ron: (on seeing his new dress robes) I’ll go starkers before I put that on.

Ron: Percy wouldn’t recognize a joke if it danced naked in front of him wearing Dobby’s tea cozy.

Harry: (on their captain after their team lost a Quidditch match) Where is Wood ?

Fred: Still in the showers. We think he’s trying to drown himself.

Peeves the Poltergeist: Oh Potter, you rotter, now what have you done ? You’re killing off students you think it’s good fun…

Dumbledore: It does not do well to dwell on dreams and forget to live.

“…Well, I certainly don’t,” said Percy sanctimoniously. “I shudder to think what the state of my in-tray would look like if I was away from work for five days.”

“Yeah, someone might slip dragon dung in it again, eh, Perce ?” said Fred.

“That was a sample of fertilizer from Norway !” said Percy going very red in the face. “It was nothing personal!”

“It was,” Fred whispered to Harry as they got up from the table. “We sent it.”

Dumbledore: (on the castle’s many rooms) Only this morning, for instance, I took a wrong turning on the way to the bathroom and found myself in a beautifully proportioned room I have never seen before, containing a really rather magnificent collection of chamber pots. When I went back to investigate more closely, I discovered that the room had vanished. But I must keep an eye out for it. Possibly it is only accessible at five-thirty in the morning. Or it may only appear at the quarter moon – or when the seeker has an exceptionally full bladder.

Dumbledore: My own brother, Aberforth, was prosecuted for practicing inappropriate charms on a goat. It was all over the papers, but did Aberforth hide ? No, he did not ! He held his head high and went about his business as usual. Of course, I’m not entirely sure he can read, so that may not have been bravery…

Dumbledore: It’s lucky it’s dark. I haven’t blushed so much since Madam Pomfrey told me she liked my new earmuffs.

Dumbledore: Scars come in handy. I have one above my left knee that is a perfect map of the London Underground.

Ron: (on Dobby) You know what, Harry ? If he doesn’t stop trying to save your life he’s going to kill you.

“Hello, Percy,” said Harry, trying not to laugh.

“I do hope you’re well ?” said Percy pompously, shaking hands. It was rather like being introduced to the mayor.

“Very well thanks – ”

“Harry !!” said Fred, elbowing Percy out of the way and bowing deeply. “Simply splendid to see you, old boy -”

“Marvellous,” said George, pushing Fred aside and seizing Harry’s hand in turn, “absolutely spiffing.”

Percy scowled.

“That’s enough now,” said Mrs. Weasley.

“Mum !” said Fred as though he’d only just seen her and seized her hand too. “How really corking to see you !”

“I’m not going to be murdered,” Harry said out loud.

“That’s the spirit, dear,” said his mirror sleepily.

Hermione: Aren’t you two ever going to read Hogwarts, A History ?

Ron: What’s the point ? You know it by heart, we can just ask you.

Dumbledore: What you need, Harry, is some food and sleep. I suggest you go down to the feast, while I write a letter to Azkaban – we need our gamekeeper back. And I must draft an advertisement for The Daily Prophet, too. And we’ll be needing a new Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher… Dear me, we do seem to run through them, don’t we ?

Ron: You’d better hope that Creevy doesn’t meet Ginny, or they’ll be starting a Harry Potter Fan Club.

George: I solemnly swear that I am up to no good.

Uncle Vernon: (to Harry) HOW DARE YOU GIVE OUT THIS NUMBER TO PEOPLE LIKE YOU !!

George: We let off a dung bomb in the hall and it upset him for some reason.

Sir Cadogan: Come follow me, dear friends and we shall find our goal, or else shall perish bravely in the charge !

Dumbledore: I have gone temporarily deaf and have not heard a word you just said.

“Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot and Prongs,” sighed George, patting the head of the map. “We owe them so much.”

“Noble men, working tirelessly to help a new generation of lawbreakers.” said Fred solemnly.

Dumbledore: Humans have a knack for choosing precisely the things that are worst for them.

Harry Potter was an unusual boy in many ways. For one thing, he hated the summer holidays more than any other time of the year. For another, he really wanted to do his homework but was forced to do it in secret, in the dead of the night. And he also happened to be a wizard.

Ron: Harry – this is a Pocket Sneakoscope. If there’s someone untrustworthy around, it’s supposed to light up and spin. Bill says it’s rubbish sold for wizard tourists and isn’t reliable, because it kept lighting up at dinner last night. But he didn’t realize Fred and George had put beetles in his soup.

Ernie Prang (the guy on the Knight Bus): Them Azkaban guards give me the collywobbles.

Harry: What about my punishment ?

Cornelius Fudge: … Punishment ?

Harry: I broke the law ! The Decree for the Restriction of Underage Wizardry !

Cornelius Fudge: Oh, my dear boy, we’re not going to punish you for a little thing like that ! It was an accident ! We don’t send people to Azkaban just for blowing up their aunts !

Fred and George were crouching in the shadows on the landing, heaving with laughter as they listened to Percy dismantling his and Ron’s room in search of his [Head Boy] badge.

“We’ve got it. We’ve been improving it.”

The badge now read Bighead Boy.

Draco Malfoy: You fainted, Potter ? Is Longbottom telling the truth ? You actually fainted ?

Harry: When you’ve all finished deciding whether I’m going to die or not…!

Sir Cadogan: Stand up and fight, you mangy cur !

Harry: Oh, shut up.

Ron: Oy ! Presents ! Another sweater from Mum… maroon again… see if you’ve got one. (spots a long, thin package) What’s that ?

Harry: Dunno… (gasps as he discovers it’s a Firebolt broom) I don’t believe it.

Ron: Who sent it to you ?

Harry: Look and see if there’s a card.

Ron: Nothing ! Blimey, who’d spend that much on you ?

Harry: Well… I’m betting it wasn’t the Dursleys.

(Severus Snape yells at the Marauders’ Map)

Snape: Show yourself ! Professor Severus Snape, master of this school, commands you to yield the information you conceal!

Marauders’ Map: Mr. Moony presents his compliments to Professor Snape and begs him to keep his abnormally large nose out of other people’s business.

Mr. Prongs agrees with Mr. Moony, and would like to add that Professor Snape is an ugly git.

Mr. Padfoot would like to register his astonishment that an idiot like that ever became a professor.

Mr. Wormtail bids Professor Snape good day, and advises him to wash his hair, the slimeball.

Ron: Oh, cheer up, Harry.

Harry: I’m okay. Just thinking about the holidays.

Ron: Yeah, I’ve been thinking about them too. Harry, you’ve got to come and stay with us. I’ll fix it up with Mum and Dad, then I’ll call you. I know how to use a fellytone now…

Vernon Dursley: What’s that ? If that’s another form for me to sign, you’ve got another –

Harry: It’s not. It’s a letter from my godfather.

Vernon: Godfather ? You haven’t got a godfather !

Harry: Yes, I have. He was my mum and dad’s best friend. He’s a convicted murderer, but he’s broken out of wizard prison and he’s on the run. He likes to keep in touch with me, though… keep up with my news… check if I’m happy…

Winnie the Pooh Quotes

“There may be something in what you say, Rabbit,” he said at last. “I have been neglecting you. I must move about more. I must come and go.”

“That’s right, Eeyore. Drop in on any of us at any time, when you feel like it.”

“Thank you, Rabbit. And if anyone says in a Loud Voice ‘Bother, it’s Eeyore’, I can drop out again.”

“What did you say it was ?” he asked.

“Tigger.”

“Ah !” said Eeyore.

“He’s just come,” explained Piglet.

“Ah !” said Eeyore again.

He thought for a long time and then said: “When is he going ?”

“You seem so sad, Eeyore.”

“Sad ? Why should I be sad ? It’s my birthday. The happiest day of the year.”

“Your birthday ?” said Pooh in great surprise.

“Of course it is. Can’t you see ? Look at all the presents I’ve had.”

He waved his foot from side to side.

“Look at the birthday cake. Candles and pink sugar.”

Pooh looked – first to the right and then to the left.

“Presents ?” said Pooh. “Birthday cake ?” said Pooh. “Where ?”

“Can’t you see them ?”

“No,” said Pooh.

“Neither can I,” said Eeyore. “Joke,” he explained. “Ha Ha.”

Eeyore: And I said to myself: The others will be sorry if I’m getting myself all cold. They haven’t got Brains, any of them, only grey fluff that’s blown into their heads by mistake, and They don’t Think, but if it goes on snowing for another six weeks or so, one of them will begin to say to himself: ‘Eeyore can’t be so very much too Hot about three o’clock in the morning.’ And then it will Get About. And they’ll be Sorry.

Eeyore: A little patch I was keeping for my birthday. But after all, what are birthdays ? Here today and gone tomorrow. Help yourself, Tigger.

“Good morning, Eeyore,” said Pooh.

“Good morning, Pooh Bear,” said Eeyore gloomily. “If it is a good morning, which I doubt,” said he.

“Nobody tells me. Nobody keeps me Informed. I make it seventeen days come Friday since anybody spoke to me.”

“It certainly isn’t seventeen days –”

“Come Friday,” explained Eeyore.

“And today’s Saturday,” said Rabbit.

“It’s snowing still,” said Eeyore gloomily.

“So it is.”

“And freezing.”

“Is it ?”

“Yes,” said Eeyore. “However,” he said, brightening a little, “we haven’t had an earthquake lately.”

“But, Eeyore,” said Pooh, “was it a Joke, or an Accident ? I mean –”

“I didn’t stop to ask, Pooh. Even at the very bottom of the river, I didn’t stop to say to myself, ‘Is this a Hearty Joke or the Merest Accident ?’ I just floated to the surface and said to myself, ‘It’s wet.’ If you know what I mean.”

And as Piglet looked sorrowfully around, Eeyore picked up the balloon with his teeth, and placed it carefully in the pot; picked it out and put it on the ground; and then picked it up again and put it carefully back… … But Eeyore wasn’t listening. He was taking the balloon out, and putting it back, as happy as could be.

“Pooh,” said Rabbit kindly, “you haven’t any brain.”

“I know,” said Pooh humbly.

“Well,” said Pooh, “what I like best –” and then he had to stop and think. Because although Eating Honey was a very good thing to do, there was a moment just before you began to eat it which was better than when you were, but he didn’t know what it was called.

Pooh: Poetry and Hums aren’t things which you get, they’re things which get you. And all you can do is to go where they can find you.

Pooh: My spelling is Wobbly. It’s good spelling, but it Wobbles, and the letters get in the wrong places.

“I don’t see much sense in that,” said Rabbit.

“No,” said Pooh humbly, “there isn’t. But there was going to be when I began it. It’s just that something happened to it along the way.”

Piglet was still a little anxious about Tigger, who was a very Bouncy Animal, with a way of saying How-do-you-do, which always left your ears full of sand.

“Hello, Rabbit,” Pooh said, “is that you ?”

“Let’s pretend it isn’t,” said Rabbit, “and see what happens.”

“I’ve got a message for you,” said Pooh.

“I’ll give it to him,” said Rabbit.

“Rabbit’s clever,” said Pooh thoughtfully.

“Yes,” said Piglet, “Rabbit’s clever.”

“And he has Brain.”

“Yes,” said Piglet, “Rabbit has Brain.”

There was a long silence.

“I suppose,” said Pooh, “that that’s why he never understands anything.”

“It all comes,” said Rabbit sternly, “of eating too much. I thought at the time,” said Rabbit, “only I didn’t like to say anything,” said Rabbit, “that one of us was eating too much,” said Rabbit, “and I knew it wasn’t me,” he said.

“Pooh,” said Piglet reproachfully, “haven’t you been listening to what Rabbit was saying ?”

“I listened, but I had a small piece of fluff in my ear. Could you say it again, please, Rabbit ?”

Rabbit never minded saying things again, so he asked where he should begin from; and when Pooh had said from the moment when the fluff got in his ear, and Rabbit had asked when that was, and Pooh had said he didn't know because he hadn't heard properly, Piglet settled it all by explaining.

“The atmospheric conditions have been very unfavorable lately,” said Owl.

“The what ?”

“It’s been raining,” explained Owl.

“Yes,” said Christopher Robin. “It has.”

“The flood-level has reached an unprecedented height.”

“The who ?”

“There’s a lot of water about,” explained Owl.

Owl, wise though he was in many ways, was able to read and write and spell his own name WOL.

He could spell his own name WOL, and he could spell Tuesday so that you knew it wasn’t Wednesday, and he could read quite comfortably when you weren’t looking over his shoulder saying “Well ?” all the time, and he could –

“Well ?” said Rabbit.

Lord of the Rings Quotes

“…But do not despise the lore that has come down from distant years; for oft it may chance that old wives keep in memory word of things that once were needful for the wise to know.”

- Lord Celeborn of Lorien

- The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring

“This is the hour of the Shire-folk, when they arise from their quiet fields to shake the towers and the counsels of the Great.”

- Lord Elrond of Rivendell

- The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Rings

Gollum: Is it nice, my preciousss ? Is it juicy ? Is it scrumptiously crunchable ?

Frodo: It must often be so, Sam, when things are in danger: someone has to give them up, lose them, so that others may keep them.

Gandalf: (to Pippin)Fool of a Took ! … This is a serious journey, not a hobbit walking-party. Throw yourself in next time, and then you will be of no further nuisance. Now be quiet !

Gandalf: He who breaks a thing to find out what it is, has left the path of wisdom.

Gandalf: You cannot pass ! I am servant of the Secret Fire, wielder of the flame of Anor. You cannot pass. The dark fire will not avail you, flame of Udun. Go back to the shadow ! You cannot pass !

Bilbo: I don’t know half of you half as well as I should like; and I like less than half of you half as well as you deserve.

Galadriel: And now at last it comes. You will give me the Ring freely ! In place of the Dark Lord you will set up a Queen. And I shall not be dark, but beautiful and terrible as the Morning and the Night ! Fair as the Sea and the Sun and the Snow upon the Mountain !Dreadful as the Storm and the Lightning ! Stronger than the foundations of the earth. All shall love me and despair.

Gandalf: It is not our part to master all the tides of the world, but to do what is in us for the succor of those years wherein we are set, uprooting the evil in the fields we know, so that those who live after may have clean earth to till. What weather they shall have is not ours to rule.

Gimli: The words of this wizard stand on their head.

Gollum: Where is the other one ? The cross rude hobbit.

Boromir: (of the Horn of Gondor) Loud and clear it sounds in the valleys of the hills. Then let the foes of Gondor flee !

Éomer: These are indeed strange days. Dreams and legends spring to life out of the grass.

Gandalf: Many that live deserve death. And some that die deserve life. Can you give it to them ? Then do not be too eager to deal out death in judgment. For even the very wise cannot see all ends.

“Hill. Yes, that was it. But it is a hasty word for a thing that has stood here ever since this part of the world was shaped.”

- Treebeard

- Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers

Never for long had hope died in his staunch heart, and always until now he had taken some thought for their return. But the bitter truth came home to him at last: at best their provisions would take them to their goal; and when the task was done, there they would come to an end, alone, houseless, foodless in the midst of a terrible desert. There could be no return.

- Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King

Gimli: Faithless is he that says farewell when the road darkens.

Legolas: Few can foresee whither their road will lead them, till they come to its end.

Gandalf: Many are the strange chances of the world, and help oft shall come from the hands of the weak when the wise falter.

The Stephanie Plum Series

Grandma Mazur: Not bad for my first time with a gun. I shot that sucker right in the gumpy.

- One for the Money

Morelli: Rise and shine, Badass.

Ranger: I’m wearing a f**king Kevlar vest. You think he could shoot me in the vest ? No way. He’s such a lousy shot, he’s so chicken-shit scared that he shoots me in my f**king leg.

- One for the Money

“Did you want to discuss something ?”

“Yeah. I want to know what the hell went on today. Did you really beat the shit out of that poor little Briggs guy ?”

“No ! He fell down the stairs.”

“Oh boy,” Morelli said.

“He did !”

“Honey, I say that all the time, and it’s never true.”

- Stephanie Plum and Joe Morelli

“Stay away from me !” he hollered. “I’m armed.”

“What, are you kidding me ? You’re holding a fork.”

For the better part of my childhood, my professional aspirations were simple – I wanted to be an intergalactic princess.

- Stephanie Plum

Old Lady: (when Stephanie is attacked by geese who want her Cracker Jacks) Run for your life, honey ! Give them the Cracker Jacks, throw them the box, or those honkers’ll eat you alive !

“Holy Mary, mother of God,” my mother said. “You were being chased by Richard Nixon, Bill Clinton, and a rabbit.”

“I don’t know why you can’t have a normal job. Like your sister.”

I rolled my eyes. My sister again. Saint Valerie.

“And she’s dating a nice man… what about you ? Who are you dating ?”

“Don’t ask,” I said. I wasn’t dating anyone. I was fornicating with Batman.

- Stephanie and her mother

- Hard Eight

(on a visit to the firing range)

“Okay Tex, let’s see what you’ve got.”

I loaded and fired.

“Good,” Ranger said. “Let’s try it with your eyes open this time.”

- Stephanie and Ranger

Joe Morelli: Honey, a man can’t keep his gun in a cookie jar. It just isn’t done.

Ranger: Last time you called me late at night you were naked and chained to your shower curtain rod. I hope this isn’t going to be disappointing.

“What about Loretta and Eddie DeChooch ?” I asked. “Do you suppose they were seeing each other ?”

“Not that I know of,” Grandma said. “From what I know, Loretta liked her men hot, and Eddie DeChooch couldn’t get it up. I went out with him a couple of times, and that thing of his was dead as a doorknob. No matter what I did I couldn’t get nothing to happen.”

My father looked up at Grandma, and a piece of meat fell out of his mouth.

“My mother was red-faced at the other end of the table. She sucked in some air and made the sign of the cross. “Mother of God,” she said.

I fiddled with my fork. “If I left now I probably wouldn’t get any pineapple upside-down cake, right ?”

“Not for the rest of your life,” my mother said.

- Seven Up

The line to Morelli’s mouth tightened. “Let me get this straight. Yesterday, someone actually blew up your car and your apartment. And now you want to move in with me ? What, do you hate me ? You’re a walking disaster ! You’re Calamity Jane in f**king spandex !”

- Four to Score

The Princess Diaries

How come nice people like Princess Diana get killed in car wrecks, but mean people like Lana never do ?

- Mia Thermopolis

- The Princess Diaries

He’s [Michael’s] in 5^th period Gifted and Talented class with me and Lilly, which is the biggest joke of a class, because Mrs. Hill, who’s in charge of the G & T programme at Albert Einstein’s, doesn’t care what we do, as long as we don’t make too much noise… Mrs Hill never checks to see what we’re doing in G & T, which is probably good, since mostly what we’re all doing is figuring out ways to lock the new Russian kid, who’s supposedly this musical genius, in the supply closet, so we don’t have to listen to any more Stravinsky on his stupid violin.

- Mia Thermopolis

- The Princess Diaries

I bet he’s in there making a bomb. Maybe he’ll blow up Albert Einstein High School as a senior prank.

- Mia Thermopolis

- The Princess Diaries

Mr. Gianini, Mia’s Algebra teacher: Mia, I hope you don’t feel, well, uncomfortable about my seeing your mother socially.

Mia: Oh, no, Mr. Gianini, it doesn’t bother me at all.

Mr. Gianini: Because if it bothers you, we can talk about it.

Mia: Really, it doesn’t bother me. I mean, it bothers me a LITTLE, but really, I’m fine with it. I mean, it’s just a date, right ? Why get upset about one measly date ?

Mr. Gianini: Well, Mia, I don’t know if it’s going to be one measly date. I really like your mother.

Mia: Well, you better. Because if you do anything to make her cry, I’ll kick your butt.

Oh my God ! I can’t even believe I said the word butt to a teacher !

- The Princess Diaries

Mom’s been depressed ever since her last boyfriend turned out to be a Republican.

- Mia Thermopolis

- The Princess Diaries

After filming was over for the day, we saw the Blind Guy crossing Bleecker. He had a new victim, this totally innocent German tourist who had no idea that the nice blind man she was helping across the street was going to feel her up as soon as they got to the other side, then pretend like he hadn’t done it on purpose.

Just my luck, the only guy who’s ever felt me up… was BLIND.

- Mia Thermopolis

- The Princess Diaries

I would like to live in Iceland some day. It sounds like a fun place. Much more fun than Manhattan, where people sometimes spit at you for no reason.

- Mia Thermopolis

- The Princess Diaries

Who are these people, and why do I have to be incarcerated with them on a daily basis ?

- Mia Thermopolis

- The Princess Diaries

… I was worried something had happened to Fat Louie, like he’d swallowed another sock. The last time he did that, the vet charged us $1,000 to remove the sock from his small intestines, and he walked around with a funny look on his face for about a month.

Fat Louie, I mean. Not the vet.

- Mia Thermopolis

- The Princess Diaries

This is bad. My mom only says ‘Ask your father’ when I want to know something she doesn’t like telling me, like why people sometimes kill their own babies and how come Americans eat so much red meat and read so much less than the people of Iceland.

- Mia Thermopolis

- The Princess Diaries

So after I forked over a couple of dollars to get in – that’s the other good thing about the zoo: it’s cheap – I paid a little call on the polar bear. He appeared to be doing fine. Much better than I was, at the moment. I mean, his dad hadn’t told him he was the heir to the throne of anywhere. I wondered where that polar bear had come from. I hoped he was from Iceland.

- Mia Thermopolis

- The Princess Diaries

But my Dad’s another story. He is totally rigid in the disciplinary department. My mom says that’s because Grandmere used to punish him when he was a little boy by locking him into this one really scary room in their house.

Now that I think about it, the house my dad grew up in was probably the castle, and that scary room was probably the dungeon.

- Mia Thermopolis

- The Princess Diaries

No wonder Grandpa died of a heart attack in bed. He probably rolled over one morning and got a real good look at his wife.

- Mia Thermopolis

- The Princess Diaries

What kind of name is Paolo, anyway ? I mean, this is America, for Pete’s sake ! YOUR NAME IS PAUL !!!

- Mia Thermopolis

- The Princess Diaries

To date, I’ve made $200 for Greenpeace. I’m probably going to go down in history as the girl who saved all the whales.

- Mia Thermopolis

- The Princess Diaries

I said I wouldn’t sign it [a petition] and Boris, who was the person holding it, told me I was ungrateful, and that in the country he came from, voices raised in protest had been crushed for years by the government, and that I should feel lucky I lived in a place where I could sign a petition and not live in fear that the secret police would come after me.

I told Boris that in America, we don’t tuck our sweaters into our trousers.

- Mia Thermopolis

- The Princess Diaries

Lilly: Michael, SHUT UP !

Boris: (leaning out of supply closet door) Lilly ? Did you say something ?

Lilly: I WASN’T TALKING TO YOU, BORIS !

Boris: Sorry. (Goes back in closet).

- The Princess Diaries

Boris: (leaning out of supply closet) Excuse me. I accidentally knocked over a bottle of rubber cement with my bow and it’s getting hard to breathe. Can I come out now ?

Everyone in the G & T room: NO !!!

Mrs Hill: (poking head in from hallway) What’s all this noise in here ? We can hardly hear ourselves think in the teachers’ lounge. Boris, why are you in the supply closet ? Get out now.

- The Princess Diaries

Then my mom noticed the sunset and went, ‘Oh, isn’t that beautiful ?’ Even my dad said, ‘I never knew you could see sunsets like that in New York.’

And then all four of us just stood there and watched the sun go down.

And as we stood there, I couldn’t help thinking how great it was that we could all put aside our differences and just watch a sunset and really be in the moment, you know ? And my heart was totally filled with this sense of inner peace, and I thought to myself, You know, I think it’s true. It’s really true. I’ve finally achieved self-actualisation…

At least until my mom went, ‘For God’s sake, Phillipe, must you breathe so loud ?’

And my dad went, ‘I’ll stop breathing loud when you start balancing your chequebook.’

And Grandmere started digging in her purse for a handkerchief. ‘What is that foul odour ?’ she wanted to know. ‘I thought barbecuing was illegal in Manhattan.’

- Mia Thermopolis

- The Princess Diaries

Oh my God. OH MY GOD.

My mother is having my Algebra teacher’s baby.

- Mia Thermopolis