"Arwank! Arwank, wait!" Araporn followed her around like a lost lamb... that could beg and plead and make big scenes in school corridors. "Did you- did you get the flowers?" Borrow-Queer. Gasp! Dum Dum DUMN!!!!!! As the music began, a tall, pretty elven-girl with short chestnut hair and big brown eyes stepped forward and began to sing. (if you want to sing along, these lyrics are based on the song 'American Pie' by Madonna and they were written by the lovely Louise Hillier)
"Leave me alone!"
"What about the poem?"
Suddenly, Galadri-hell ran up to them, breathless, and grabbed Araporn's arm. "Dickhead!" She cried. "You've GOT to see this!"
"Not now, Galadri-hell, talk to me later..."
"No seriously, you really really MUST see it, it's just...... crazy!"
"I don't care, now leave me alone, I'm trying to talk to-" he turned back round but Arwank was already walking away. "Arwank, wait!!!" He ran forward, Galadri-hell still clinging to his arm, and dived for her. He managed to grab hold of her leg.
Arwank screamed. "Whata are you doing? Get off me, you lecher! You pervert! You low-life!"
"Not until you forgive me!"
"NEVER!" She struggled free of his grip.
Araporn managed to pull her shoe off. "No!" He yelled as she ran away. He waved the shoe in the air. "You can't leave, I have your shoe!"
"Don't worry, I'll give it back to her tonight," Galadri-hell smiled, putting the shoe in her bag. But Araporn had the strangest feeling that she was going to keep it.
She pulled him off the floor. "Come on, let's go! I still have to show you the scary thing!" She took his hand and dragged him down the corridor to the music hall. Galadri-hell pushed open the doors and there was the Vocal Parody Song Group about to practise their latest song 'Middle Earth Pie'. Frieda, Ganja and the others are sitting at the back, trying very hard not to laugh as they watched the group prepare.
Don't think they're evil. You'll laugh when you find out who had joined the band...
Did you write the book of spells?
And do you believe in psycho Elves?
If Sauron tells you so.
And do you fancy Legolas?
And can the Ring bring out the worst in us?
And can you teach me Elvish really slooooooooooow?
Well, I know that you ain't gone for good,
Coz I heard you whisper in the wood.
We hobbits wear no shoes,
And all our hands are bluuuuuuuuuueee!!!!!
I was a lonely stupid gardener,
With a crush on Rosie,
And a mug of beer,
'Til you came along and made life clear,
Before Gandalf died.
We started singing...
Bye, bye, 'til you're Gandalf the White.
Sent those people through to Mordor,
But halfway there you died.
Those good old Elves were singing to moon and sky,
Singing bout the day that Gandalf died...
The song ended and Borrow-Queer bounced up to them, grinning. "Hey guys! Come to see me in action?"
"That was scary," said Pipe-in.
"Don't listen to him, Borrow-Queer." Legohash, the gorgeous peacekeeper smiled serenely. "I think you were pretty good."
"I think you need your balls reattached..." Galadri-hell laughed.
"Keep it down, Galadri-hell!" Borrow-Queer hissed.
"What the fuck are you doing here man? This place is full of plagiarists!"
"So? What's wrong with that?"
"Plagiarists are pale depressed otakus with smelly feet!"
